Married Couples : Finances Split or Combined?

Joint account here. We used to have separate ones, but since we are both paid quite a lot, we ended up blowing quite a bit of money with no scrutiny. Now with the joint account it does imply both of us will know, and therefore we are a bit more careful about buying stuff. Also turns out that with the money saved, it adds up very quickly and we can buy BIGGER things, together!

I encourage her to treat herself if I feel I'm a bit 'ahead' on toys :-)

I do the 'strategy' bits on what to generally do with the money, and she does all the admin and bills. We both have a debit card on the same account.
 
I don't understand the mentality of having everything going into one joint account, everyone is an independent individual and should seek to remain that way by having control of their own assets. A person should not be defined by a relationship, by all means have a joint account to pay for expenses that are a part of living together in a relationship such as utilities etc but don't throw jumble everything into one pot. Relationships are an addition to your life not the entirety of it and it's very important not to lose that perspective.
 
Energize said:
I don't understand the mentality of having everything going into one joint account, everyone is an independent individual and should seek to remain that way by having control of their own assets. A person should not be defined by a relationship, by all means have a joint account to pay for expenses that are a part of living together in a relationship such as utilities etc but don't throw jumble everything into one pot. Relationships are an addition to your life not the entirety of it and it's very important not to lose that perspective.
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So would you/do you pay an allowance to your partner if/when she takes time off to have kids etc..?
 
My girlfriend and I put an amount into a bank account each month which funds our weekly allowances, such as shopping, bills etc. However, when it comes to separate phone bills or buying stuff for ourselves, we use our own bank accounts. We have a similar income, so it works well. When one has been out of a job, the other has made up for it :)
 
Used to be shared but with divorce looming the wife has opened her own accounts and taken away all evidence of savings to a secret location!
 
Rifte said:
Interesting to get a few views on this.
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I've been married for 36 years and I keep letting her know that "I've never seen my wage packet".
I've never opened my wage slip because she does it.

I heard a married couple the other day and one said "If you want to go on holiday you can take it out of your money" :eek:
I don't get that.
Is this why so many marriages fail?
 
Partner/Girlfriend. We each have our own bank accounts but have a single joint account for the mortgage / bills / "household purchases" / etc which we transfer into at the end of each month. I personally wouldn't like all of our incomes going into a single account.
 
I earn four times what my wife does, if I suggested a mines and yours approach she would not be too impressed. Our income goes into our own accounts, we then transfer our respective amounts to the joint to leave us with similar disposable income. The joint runs at a surplus which is used for larger family purchases as and when they crop up.
 
SexyGreyFox said:
Is this why so many marriages fail?
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lol. no. Marriages fail because of fundmental differences on the important issues. Money is one of those issues, along with sex, religion, kids. If you see eye-to-eye financially, then it really doesn't matter how you arrange the details.
 
SpeedFreak said:
I earn four times what my wife does, if I suggested a mines and yours approach she would not be too impressed. Our income goes into our own accounts, we then transfer our respective amounts to the joint to leave us with similar disposable income. The joint runs at a surplus which is used for larger family purchases as and when they crop up.
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Did your partner give up the ability to earn more to look after children or to support you while you earned qualifications? I'm confused by the mentality that a partner is entitled to your money. If you earn more then by all means you might want to treat her out to meals or buy her gifts, but to just flat out give money away seems strange. Unless maybe you're in a position that you have so much money it doesn't really matter then fair enough.

Me and my long term girlfriend have our own money and we pay money into a joint account for our bills. I wouldn't like to be scrutinised on spending money I've earned and I don't think she would either, we both earn about the same amount
 
Roar87 said:
Me and my long term girlfriend have our own money and we pay money into a joint account for our bills. I wouldn't like to be scrutinised on spending money I've earned and I don't think she would either, we both earn about the same amount
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I think that is a bit different though as you're not married.
 
Energize said:
I don't understand the mentality of having everything going into one joint account, everyone is an independent individual and should seek to remain that way by having control of their own assets. A person should not be defined by a relationship, by all means have a joint account to pay for expenses that are a part of living together in a relationship such as utilities etc but don't throw jumble everything into one pot. Relationships are an addition to your life not the entirety of it and it's very important not to lose that perspective.
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Why can't you be an independent individual and have one joint account? They're not mutually exclusive.
 
Roar87 said:
Did your partner give up the ability to earn more to look after children or to support you while you earned qualifications? I'm confused by the mentality that a partner is entitled to your money. If you earn more then by all means you might want to treat her out to meals or buy her gifts, but to just flat out give money away seems strange. Unless maybe you're in a position that you have so much money it doesn't really matter then fair enough.

Me and my long term girlfriend have our own money and we pay money into a joint account for our bills. I wouldn't like to be scrutinised on spending money I've earned and I don't think she would either, we both earn about the same amount
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She has given up some opportunity since we had children. Things may seem simple if you both earn similar money, however if one earns more than the other I would find it more strange not to normalise the disposable income.
 
dowie said:
I think that is a bit different though as you're not married.
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We have a Mortgage for a house and have been together for nearly 6 years, we're not just a couple of kids renting a flat. We'd definitely keep the same arrangement if we got married, maybe not if we had kids as at that point it would probably be a bit impractical.
 
Roar87 said:
We have a Mortgage for a house and have been together for nearly 6 years, we're not just a couple of kids renting a flat. We'd definitely keep the same arrangement if we got married, maybe not if we had kids as at that point it would probably be a bit impractical.
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If you struggle with the concept that a partner is entitled to your money, marriage might come as a bit of a shock :p
 
Roar87 said:
We have a Mortgage for a house and have been together for nearly 6 years, we're not just a couple of kids renting a flat. We'd definitely keep the same arrangement if we got married, maybe not if we had kids as at that point it would probably be a bit impractical.
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Marriage might not be for your then :D.

An extreme example but if your were married and she won the lottery with a ticket bought with her own cash what would you expect. If she were to say "tough break darling but this money is mine" what then?
 
SpeedFreak said:
Marriage might not be for your then :D.

An extreme example but if your were married and she won the lottery with a ticket bought with her own cash what would you expect. If she were to say "tough break darling but this money is mine" what then?
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That's a bit different though because at that point money isn't even an issue.

Just curious, but are there any Men out there who earn less and their partners quite happily top up their disposable income?
 
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