OK which one of you lot did this?

[FoxEye]

Are you currently in a relationship? Because you sound quite bitter.

No, I'm not bitter. I'm merely empathising with this chap.

I'm basically the same as the guy in the OP. Within about 10 mins any girl I'm trying to talk to has been thoroughly freaked out and repulsed. Think Hunchback of Notre Dame or the Phantom of the Opera (minus the singing voice and charisma).

There is so little empathy these days and nobody wants to deal with someone who isn't socially adept, smart, funny, etc. I've given up because every single girl I've ever met has basically run a mile, within the first ten mins. And that's without any touching! I'm smart enough to not go round initiating physical contact. Or maybe smart is not the right word. I'm playing it safe in that regard tho.

So not bitter, just resigned to the way things are.

In this country, women hold all the cards in relationships. Maybe this is natural selection at work. My genes have just selected me out of the pool.

 

[VincentHanna]

So do you have male friends? If so why can you talk to them, but not women?

 

[Nitefly]

I was once (years ago this is as well) reported to my (temporary) manager by two female co-workers. My crime? I attempted to join in the conversation they were having.

I was a temp and only worked in their office for a week. In that time they basically refused to acknowledge my existence. They wouldn't say hello, ignored me if I greeted them, and generally just spent the whole day chatting to themselves whilst I worked in complete silence.

My (temporary) manager upheld their complaint. She pulled me aside and said they had no interest in talking to me, and that I was there to do a job and nothing more. I was strongly advised to keep quiet and not try talking to them again.

This was several years ago, and things have only got worse since. If you're ugly or socially awkward, even having a friendly conversation is impossible (with some girls).

Sorry to hear that.

I can only speak from my own experiences but:

1) I was once fired for a temp. job for the perceived ‘lack of effort’ and the assumption that I was a moron. Apparently I was no good at stacking paper into a machine and making coffee. Honestly, it was so humiliating. I don’t know how anyone came to that conclusion about me when I think I’m a hardworking and generally likeable person. Ultimately, if you are the tastiest strawberry in the world, you’re going to run into some ****s that hate strawberries for no apparent reason.

2) I can be charming and I do have charisma (and arrogance!) but I am absolutely not a good looking person. Average at best. Currently fat and now bald. Ffffff!

3) When travelling alone through various parts of the world I did feel slightly bullied by various groups of ‘established friends’ (strangers to me) and it made me feel really miserable and feel worthless.

4) I have been socially awkward towards girls and just a bit of a boob in the past (nothing serious, just lack of confidence and lack of social skills, on occasion).

5) I’m a ****ing 11/10 warlord that is liked and loved by great people. Frankly, anyone that doesn’t approve of me can *** on my prize winning marrow of a ****

I don’t really know what my point is but I would try not to let your poop experience colour your view of the world too much, save for being duly sceptical from time to time. We all have it hard but as Rocky said...

“You me, or no one, is gunna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how much you can get hit and keep moving forwards. How much you can take and keep moving forwards. That’s how winning is done!!!”

 

[Delvis]

Probably not. She's reacting in the way she's been conditioned to react - fearful, fragile, lashing out.

I get touched without my consent often. Happened twice today. It's annoying, but I wouldn't dream of trying to destroy someone's life over it even if I had the power to do so. Since I'm a man and a flunkey I don't have that much power of course, but I wouldn't want it. Not even against the person who stuck their hand between my legs while I was bent over and said "feel that!". That was the only incident I'd class as sexual assault, but it wasn't enough for me to want to destroy their life over it. There's no need for such overkill. For asexual touching without hostile intent it's ludicrously over the top. It's rude, but rudeness is not sufficient reason for destroying a person's life. What's next? Battering someone for driving badly? Breaking someone's nose for looking at you funny?

So you often get people stroking you then smirking at you provocatively in the street?

 

[dowie]

Youtube seems to be making a stand on this kind of content and are deleting videos or banning accounts: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-50006240

The worrying thing is that the videos they upload are their best attempts - edited footage of when it goes well and they look good getting a girls number in a few seconds after just approaching her in the street... if even that good footage is getting them banned you've gotta wonder what all the outtakes look like where girls have been creeped out by it/consider them to be annoying sex pest types...

Then you get other guys copying them and worse - some very weird guys with limited social skills attempting it.... and you get still like the story in the OP and/or that video posted earlier.

 

[AHarvey]

I was once (years ago this is as well) reported to my (temporary) manager by two female co-workers. My crime? I attempted to join in the conversation they were having.

I was a temp and only worked in their office for a week. In that time they basically refused to acknowledge my existence. They wouldn't say hello, ignored me if I greeted them, and generally just spent the whole day chatting to themselves whilst I worked in complete silence.

My (temporary) manager upheld their complaint. She pulled me aside and said they had no interest in talking to me, and that I was there to do a job and nothing more. I was strongly advised to keep quiet and not try talking to them again.

This was several years ago, and things have only got worse since. If you're ugly or socially awkward, even having a friendly conversation is impossible (with some girls).

3 years ago I was working in an office putting some new network cables in. one of the girls had a new hair do and I was asked what I thought, I said "yeah it looks nice, it suits you" and went back to the job at hand. I then got pulled up for it as the girl had made a complaint... I'd also worked with this group of people for 18 months and we were always laughing and joking, I'd also saved this girls job 4 months earlier after I proved a mess up wasn't her fault.

I learnt a long time ago not to care what others think, you're your own worst critic so you're the best to judge how well you're doing at something.

I just didn't speak to her again and let a few people know why. Same girl then got another girl sacked a few months later of another BS claim.

 

[dowie]

I was once (years ago this is as well) reported to my (temporary) manager by two female co-workers. My crime? I attempted to join in the conversation they were having.

I was a temp and only worked in their office for a week. In that time they basically refused to acknowledge my existence. They wouldn't say hello, ignored me if I greeted them, and generally just spent the whole day chatting to themselves whilst I worked in complete silence.

I wouldn't read too much into that situation tbh... the key thing there is "I was a temp" - you were utterly disposable, presumably there for a basic mundane task and they might just have wanted you to get on with it.

FWIW we had a female temp, there happened to be some free drinks/small event in the office while she was with us - people were socialising in the downstairs area near the pool table etc.. and she was seen sat on the lap of one of the guys... MD got rid of her the next day, the person whose lap she'd sat on was married so she has to go as the MD didn't like it.

 

[Rofflay]

3 years ago I was working in an office putting some new network cables in. one of the girls had a new hair do and I was asked what I thought, I said "yeah it looks nice, it suits you" and went back to the job at hand. I then got pulled up for it as the girl had made a complaint...

3 years ago I was working in an office putting some new network cables in. one of the girls had a new hair do and I was asked what I thought, I said "looks like my dogs hair" and went back to the job at hand. I then got pulled up for it as the girl had made a complaint...

3 years ago I was working in an office putting some new network cables in. one of the girls had a new hair do and I was asked what I thought, I said nothing and went back to the job at hand.

This is why men work best with other men, You can chat away all day and no boring days of being afraid to talk to people. For another man to make a complaint there is also normally a damm good reason behind it as well like safety concerns.

 

[VincentHanna]

I wouldn't read too much into that situation tbh... the key thing there is "I was a temp" - you were utterly disposable, presumably there for a basic mundane task and they might just have wanted you to get on with it.

Fair point

Not saying people shouldn't be courteous but most offices have a certain dynamic and a week-long temp trying to get involved in discussions might not be appreciated.

 

[Toasty]

Rule 1 - Be attractive
Rule 2 - Don't be unattractive

 

[FoxEye]

Fair point

Not saying people shouldn't be courteous but most offices have a certain dynamic and a week-long temp trying to get involved in discussions might not be appreciated.

Nah it went beyond that to outright refusing to acknowledge my existence.

I also learned a good lesson about management in that short assignment. I worked my ass off and at the end did the job in half the time they'd allocated.

The manager got heaps of praise for completing early and I got nothing. Not even a thank-you.

So now I hate all women and all management (this is a joke btw).

 

[VincentHanna]

Much as it sucks, nobody is likely to heap praise on a disposable temp when they can take the credit themselves.

 

[Jono8]

Here's the video he posted:

 

[R.P.L]

Much as it sucks, nobody is likely to heap praise on a disposable temp when they can take the credit themselves.

That's a bit of a generalisation. Just like not all women treat men like ****, not all bosses take credit for their subordinates work (even temps).

 

[Palladium]

x

 

[Angilion]

So you often get people stroking you then smirking at you provocatively in the street?

No. Why do you assume I do?

 

[Mr Jack]

This must have been a worse approach than that poster recently who uploaded himself cycling up to women with a helmet cam on and telling them they looked fun etc...

That was creepy AF, with the added hostility of being on a bike while they're walking about it. That creep deserved to be in court.

 

[Delvis]

No. Why do you assume I do?

By assuming she has reacted in a specific way due to 'conditioning' - I don't think it would be okay anywhere to be walking down a street and it be okay to be touched without consent then have said person smirk at you (making it obvious that it was on purpose)

Not directly aimed at you, but I'm amazed at half the responses, particularly from some long time members (meaning they aren't exactly young)

 

[robgmun]

Rule 1 - Be attractive
Rule 2 - Don't be unattractive

Unfortunately this is unironically true for a lot of women.

 

[Angilion]

By assuming she has reacted in a specific way due to 'conditioning' - I don't think it would be okay anywhere to be walking down a street and it be okay to be touched without consent then have said person smirk at you (making it obvious that it was on purpose)

Not directly aimed at you, but I'm amazed at half the responses, particularly from some long time members (meaning they aren't exactly young)

Why is a street so completely different to a workplace in this context?