1) As above, get another 6GB. Most games go over 3GB so you're bottlenecked already.
Just to put it into perspective, I've seen my physical ram usage hit 4.5 Gb in Cvilization 5 and DDO.
Together with the amount of cached ram, my total ram use hits around
7.5 Gb within 5 minutes of running these games.
Within 30-60 minutes, my PC will have found a way to fill all 12 Gb I have available. Without a sufficient amount of ram (<8 Gb), windows would be caching this data into the page file instead, which leads to significant lag and is the reason why people upgrading from 4 to 8 Gb have noticed significant improvements.
I have seen people on this forum post 4.9 Gb physical ram being used up by BF3. Also if a system only has 4 Gb ram, you should never see the physical ram usage exceed 3.8 Gb because windows forces the remaining 256 mb to be reserved for caching, while having to excessively rely on page file as well (say hello to lag, more lag, and yet more lag when this happens).
8-12 Gb based on what motherboard you have is a highly recommended minimum to currently have to eliminate any ram bottlenecks. This amount will last a very long time until games being to chew up over 6-10 Gb ram (as a general rule, have a minimum of at least 2 Gb extra physical ram than whatever the physical ram usage graph shows. Never assume that what the green graph shows is the only amount of ram you need, you need plenty more for caching and smooth gameplay experience). I've seen the argument that 'I have 4 Gb ram, and my games only use 3.8 Gb therefore my ram isnt a bottleneck' several times and cant help but laugh.
Theres not much point in getting more than 12 Gb, but people are buying 16 / 24 gb and even more because of how cheap ram currently is.
And theres little point to paying for more than 1600 Mhz ram too, as it only currently costs around £5 per Gb.