A bit of a problem, not sure what to do?

FeFiDoh · 1 Jul 2011 at 17:02

I am not one for doing this sort of post but I am lost as what to do and need advice. Can't really talk to anyone about it yet family wise.

The other week my parents went on holiday, my sister got a message from my dad saying

"you dumped me before we even started"

She questioned him on it and he tried to fob it off about something he had said earlier, it made no sense.

He had been staying on the PC longer than usual (he has had quite a bit of work) and been shutting the door to the room which is odd.

He is going up North today (already there) for a work thing he has Monday/Tuesday but also for a reunion & birthday of some old swimming friends he met via facebook.

I was a little suspicous that it just happned to fall on the same weekend seemd far to lucky and with that message the other day I may have put a keylogger on his pc.

Checked his recycle bin and theres 2 photos of some lady and I managed to find his FB password, which amazingly is one he uses for a few things anyway.

Checking his messages he has been talking to an oooold old gf from when he was around 19. Some pretty heavy flirting and about meeting up going for a nice meal and other bits.

I see no mention of this reunion or friends birthday via his facebook just a lot of chat convo between the 2 of them. Also been texting and emailing quite a bit it appears although I haven't looked at them.

Obviously I fear he is going up there just for her and probably does have the works thing Monday/Tuesday but he decided to go up a day early. He was meant to be leaving tomorrow but this lady has today off work.

what on earth do I do? I could easily tell him that I just happened to load opera and his facebook was on so he won't know I have keylogged his pc. He is useless when it comes to tech but I can't outright accuse him of anything as I can't see what he is up to or if it will go any further.

Can't tell my mum yet unless I am just reading to much in to the flirting and my sis will just go a bit mental and probably blurt it out.

O and he called yesterday to say he was going to be late home as he had to go to the bodyshop to get some bits for this guys wedding, they are getting some joke bits for him as he is 'under the thumb' in their convo there is talk of him giving her a massage etc.. Man this sucks kinda wish I hadn't done it but felt I needed to know.

FeFiDoh · 1 Jul 2011 at 17:25

If I tell him and it was just harmless banter then I stand the chance of making it a lot worse. If I don't and something happens I will feel I should have done something before hand.

Going to eat away at me.

FeFiDoh · 1 Jul 2011 at 17:33

I don't think its over from what I have seen he is happy says he has no intention of moving up North, its like 300 miles from us now. He has a good job here they have had some really crap patches but things last few months have been good and should be for the foreseeable future.

She is being made redundant has 3 kids and he would have no work and no money so it would be insane to move on.

I think she is kinda the one that got away in some sense so maybe he is just enjoying the flirting reminds him of his youth trouble is don't know how far it will go. Been married 21 years so I would like to think that after all the crap they have been through and survived this is nothing.

FeFiDoh · 1 Jul 2011 at 17:41

Ok so remove the keylogger from the equation. The password was obvious it was one I had used for them before, I got it wrong once as I missed the digit off the end but I knew what it was.

If I had seen this information without the use of a keylogger or had just happened to load Opera and it was his last tab and I see it, does this change the facts still?

FeFiDoh · 1 Jul 2011 at 17:56

O and something else...

In some of the messages he said he was going to call her in the afternoon on 1 or two days. From the sounds of it he was on the phone for quite some time as one of her kids had said "o I bet you are going to be on the phone for ages again now".

This was middle of the afternoon, his phonebill came in the other day and he was really high. My mum said about it and said it was lucky as work were going to pay for it.

FeFiDoh · 1 Jul 2011 at 18:11

When do I talk to him, now or when back? :s

It's not as if it is an easy subject to bring up. I can't know for sure anything will happen but why else would you try and hide something like that with other reasons for going up there.

FeFiDoh · 1 Jul 2011 at 18:18

That is a good point I could mention the pics in the recycle bin and ask where they came from, that would be simple as its right there.

FeFiDoh · 1 Jul 2011 at 19:26

[TW]Fox if it was that simple he wouldn't need to lie about it.

He has said he is going for a **** up with some old swimming pals and has taken money and his c/c with him but has made no arrangements to actually sleep any where, no hotels or owt.
I see no talk between these pals any where, unless it is all done through his phone, which I doubt. As he supposedly met them again via facebook.

She said she had today off work and he has decided to go up today mid day from work instead of tomorrow morning like he was going to.

FeFiDoh · 1 Jul 2011 at 21:50

He has already left he went this morning. Text my mum earlier to say signal was rubbish will try and call later :/ Not heard from him since.

I wouldn't really say I am that close to him either but then again I'm not to anyone really not a reflection on him.
I keep myself to myself so bringing this up would be so difficult.

I did ask my mum where is he staying etc.. who is he seeing and she doesn't really know that much about it all. I feel kinda crap about it because she was saying about the money he took and he will probably be drunk by now and I am thinking "or is he really?"

**** situation I hate it