a little problem
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OK, where do you live?
All those on favor of 20+ OcUK members with burning flags and Rambo face paint to approach these goons, raise your hands!!
I, like everyone went through a phase of bullying, and like evryone here, got my own back when i snapped. The worst thing is, like you, it came from ex-friends. I never did anything to them to cause it either.
If they confront you, ask them what there problem is? Why you?
Teachers often get you in deeper than you need to be. Most who bully don;t see it as a big thing, or how it affects the victim. Just think, he got these kids suspended, who are they gonna come looking for?
You need to take it easy for a bit and lay low. These kids wont learn without a good kicking.
All those on favor of 20+ OcUK members with burning flags and Rambo face paint to approach these goons, raise your hands!!
I, like everyone went through a phase of bullying, and like evryone here, got my own back when i snapped. The worst thing is, like you, it came from ex-friends. I never did anything to them to cause it either.
If they confront you, ask them what there problem is? Why you?
Teachers often get you in deeper than you need to be. Most who bully don;t see it as a big thing, or how it affects the victim. Just think, he got these kids suspended, who are they gonna come looking for?
You need to take it easy for a bit and lay low. These kids wont learn without a good kicking.
Whee, keyboard warriorism rulez.
I was bullied at school at about the same age as you -- it was one or two people (and their lackeys) and I never did find out exactly why. I found the best course of action was to ignore them as much as possible (i.e. don't rise to the bait, they'll be looking for reasons to start a fight). Try and stick with a few good mates if you walk home, or during breaks -- they'll be less likely to hassle you if you've got backup.
If you have a trusted teacher (which it doesn't sound like) you can let them know, but in my experience it either goes nowhere or lands you in bigger trouble. I once told a teacher that I was being bullied and the bully got a good telling off, then proceeded to redouble his efforts to make my life miserable. Same goes with parents -- if they're likely to go off on one and go confront the bully or his parents, it again can lead to trouble for you. Luckily my parents supported me and went with my wishes not to confront anyone. But it's always nice to know people are on your side.
Fighting back can work if you're able to hold your own. Sometimes all it takes is to show them that it's really not a good idea to pick on you. But it's a dangerous path -- it can also cause them to step things up a notch or two.
I was bullied at school at about the same age as you -- it was one or two people (and their lackeys) and I never did find out exactly why. I found the best course of action was to ignore them as much as possible (i.e. don't rise to the bait, they'll be looking for reasons to start a fight). Try and stick with a few good mates if you walk home, or during breaks -- they'll be less likely to hassle you if you've got backup.
If you have a trusted teacher (which it doesn't sound like) you can let them know, but in my experience it either goes nowhere or lands you in bigger trouble. I once told a teacher that I was being bullied and the bully got a good telling off, then proceeded to redouble his efforts to make my life miserable. Same goes with parents -- if they're likely to go off on one and go confront the bully or his parents, it again can lead to trouble for you. Luckily my parents supported me and went with my wishes not to confront anyone. But it's always nice to know people are on your side.
Fighting back can work if you're able to hold your own. Sometimes all it takes is to show them that it's really not a good idea to pick on you. But it's a dangerous path -- it can also cause them to step things up a notch or two.
I think everyone gets bullied in school one time or another. I got bullied as i wore glasses for the first year at secondary school,these guys called be Dexter! For the second year i had contact lenses and everything changed!
I didnt really take it seriously as my mum has always brought me up with the moral of rise above it. The main guy was spurred on by his croney laughing at his doings, before it got any worse i got my mum to write one of her stern letters to the school and it all went away.
Times are changing though, all i can say is move to cornwall! Much more relaxed down here!
there was roughly 1100 people in my secondary school and 200 odd in each year, i dont think no-one was particularly picked on, i just found whenever someone took the **** just to ignore straight out, dont even acknowledge the person said it, it made my mind forget anythign ever happened.
By year 10 or 11 everyone in my year became all very good friends we all new each other and we wernt separated. I could in fact talk to anyone in my year. Just think in a couple or weeks it'll all subside and it'll all be forgotten!
Josh
EDIT : There seems to be a trend with 14 year olds at the moment, does anyone think that young people in general have totally forgotten how to respect an older person. I would have never rip down or do anything to anyone who was older than me, it just seems these day that its all changed. No respect.
I was riding around on my mountain bike with a mate, i rode past these kids bout 8 of em, 13 or 14, they starting making funny noises and shouting/screaming at us. I was shocked that they would do such a thing so i didnt no what to say. I then proceeded to go to my mates house pick my car keys up and drive back down there, i stopped next to them and starting talking them, they soon starting to change there act.
I didnt really take it seriously as my mum has always brought me up with the moral of rise above it. The main guy was spurred on by his croney laughing at his doings, before it got any worse i got my mum to write one of her stern letters to the school and it all went away.
Times are changing though, all i can say is move to cornwall! Much more relaxed down here!
there was roughly 1100 people in my secondary school and 200 odd in each year, i dont think no-one was particularly picked on, i just found whenever someone took the **** just to ignore straight out, dont even acknowledge the person said it, it made my mind forget anythign ever happened.
By year 10 or 11 everyone in my year became all very good friends we all new each other and we wernt separated. I could in fact talk to anyone in my year. Just think in a couple or weeks it'll all subside and it'll all be forgotten!
Josh
EDIT : There seems to be a trend with 14 year olds at the moment, does anyone think that young people in general have totally forgotten how to respect an older person. I would have never rip down or do anything to anyone who was older than me, it just seems these day that its all changed. No respect.
I was riding around on my mountain bike with a mate, i rode past these kids bout 8 of em, 13 or 14, they starting making funny noises and shouting/screaming at us. I was shocked that they would do such a thing so i didnt no what to say. I then proceeded to go to my mates house pick my car keys up and drive back down there, i stopped next to them and starting talking them, they soon starting to change there act.
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Look mate, I was bullied for pretty much the whole time I was at my pathetic excuse of a secondary school. I never did quite work out why I was the one everyone picked on, I've even asked some of them since and the only answer I ever got was "It was the thing to do."
It wasn't a pleasant experience for me at all. I was always shorter than everyone, taller than the smallest in the year, but easily one of the shorter ones. I was patient and I put up with it. I had my fair share of fights who were always with the 'hard' people in the year and they always came away worse off, but the bullying never stopped and I never knew why. I used to wake up crying because I desperately didn't want to go to school but my dad forced me. My dad used to say "hit them back", but it wasn't always that easy because a) I was smaller and b) I didn't know who to hit. Some of the people one day would be my friends, the next day it would be someone whose name I can't even remember. I tried the whole teacher route and although the teachers did speak to the 'main' people, it still persisted because they found it funny. I remember for the whole of year nine, I skipped my drama classes and used to sit in the head of year's office because they used to wrap me up in the curtains and kick the crap out of me in full view of the teacher. Like I said, my school was a joke. My dad scared the crap out of a kid once, who did leave me alone afterwards.
One day, towards the end of year ten, I don't know what came over me but I decided enough was enough and I snapped. Anyone, it didn't matter who, if they attacked me or did anything I just launched into. At first the others didn't know what to make of it, so I guess they continued to test the water by carrying on with their old tricks, but if you play with fire you will get burnt. Oh, and do you know the one thing that really ***** me off about this? It's that the teachers came down on me like a tonne of bricks, saying I was to blame, I bring it on myself!
One time at lunchtime, not long after I'd just hit someone for something (can't even remember what about) -- I was walking up to the shops with my friends and the next thing I remember is that I'm suddenly very dizzy, disorientated and falling to the floor. My friends explained to me that a friend of the person I'd just hit had ran up and headbutted me in the back of my head. My friends dragged me off and went nuts shouting at the other guy (my friends DID look out for me). The police were involved.
I guess what my point is mate, is that it will be hard and drawn out but you have to stand up for yourself. After five years, it was only when I became very hostile did they leave me alone. I've even had a couple of them apologise to me in the last couple of years. Ironically, I'm much bigger than the majority of them now but it's a little too late if you ask me. I've not been picked on once since because I do not put up with it and I'll be the first one there to help the little guy as I was once that little guy.
Just remember, these people in school who you call friends... you probably wont even recall their faces or names in five years time.
I've asked my close friends about it since and they've all replied with similar things that as much as they wanted to help me, they felt powerless to do anything but they respect me because not only did I put up with it for so long, in the end I dealt with it.
If I could go back, I would do a lot of things differently.
I hated school.
It wasn't a pleasant experience for me at all. I was always shorter than everyone, taller than the smallest in the year, but easily one of the shorter ones. I was patient and I put up with it. I had my fair share of fights who were always with the 'hard' people in the year and they always came away worse off, but the bullying never stopped and I never knew why. I used to wake up crying because I desperately didn't want to go to school but my dad forced me. My dad used to say "hit them back", but it wasn't always that easy because a) I was smaller and b) I didn't know who to hit. Some of the people one day would be my friends, the next day it would be someone whose name I can't even remember. I tried the whole teacher route and although the teachers did speak to the 'main' people, it still persisted because they found it funny. I remember for the whole of year nine, I skipped my drama classes and used to sit in the head of year's office because they used to wrap me up in the curtains and kick the crap out of me in full view of the teacher. Like I said, my school was a joke. My dad scared the crap out of a kid once, who did leave me alone afterwards.
One day, towards the end of year ten, I don't know what came over me but I decided enough was enough and I snapped. Anyone, it didn't matter who, if they attacked me or did anything I just launched into. At first the others didn't know what to make of it, so I guess they continued to test the water by carrying on with their old tricks, but if you play with fire you will get burnt. Oh, and do you know the one thing that really ***** me off about this? It's that the teachers came down on me like a tonne of bricks, saying I was to blame, I bring it on myself!
One time at lunchtime, not long after I'd just hit someone for something (can't even remember what about) -- I was walking up to the shops with my friends and the next thing I remember is that I'm suddenly very dizzy, disorientated and falling to the floor. My friends explained to me that a friend of the person I'd just hit had ran up and headbutted me in the back of my head. My friends dragged me off and went nuts shouting at the other guy (my friends DID look out for me). The police were involved.
I guess what my point is mate, is that it will be hard and drawn out but you have to stand up for yourself. After five years, it was only when I became very hostile did they leave me alone. I've even had a couple of them apologise to me in the last couple of years. Ironically, I'm much bigger than the majority of them now but it's a little too late if you ask me. I've not been picked on once since because I do not put up with it and I'll be the first one there to help the little guy as I was once that little guy.
Just remember, these people in school who you call friends... you probably wont even recall their faces or names in five years time.
I've asked my close friends about it since and they've all replied with similar things that as much as they wanted to help me, they felt powerless to do anything but they respect me because not only did I put up with it for so long, in the end I dealt with it.
If I could go back, I would do a lot of things differently.
I hated school.
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MonkeyMan said:Comments like that don't help mate, plus it would probably end up with armed police being called out.
I hate it when I hear about stuff like this, really tears me up inside as even though I was never bullied myself I remember kids who were and how you feel powerless to help them. (Out numbered etc)
I wish I was a bit more beefy in my early teens, could have really helped a mate out if I didn't feel so damn weak.
Anyway...
You say your teachers won't help, and if that's the way you feel then maybe your right. But you need to tell someone close to you. Be it your parents, or some of these older lads you know.
This may turn out to be a one off, and they leave you alone but why risk it. Ask for help, it doesn't make you a coward or a grass. It puts you in a stronger position to fight back.
Good luck with this mate, and I hope you sort it out.
no the teachers probably wont help me they will more than likely take this opportunity to embarrasse me but say they were helping because none of them like me as im not best behaved in class.
i will more than likely tell me older mates as they dont like these lads either. I cant jump him when he is on his own as he never is he always walks around in gangs or at least with another person, just shows how hard he is
The thing is, getting your "older" pals involved is that they won't be with you all the time, and when you are walking home on your own and THEIR older pals are waiting.... = pwned.
TBH i think going to the gym, toughening up a bit in general is definately the right thing to do. All the kids i've known to be bullied are always small and quite pathetic (not saying you are either). If you toughen up there will be no need to talk to teachers/parents, and no need to fight, as if they see you as a force to be reckoned with, they won't touch you.
Also i find a certain degree of "cockyness" and uttmost self confidence is invaluable and will go a LONG way. This shows them you are not scared at all, and actually rather amused by how they think they're so hardcore.
TBH i think going to the gym, toughening up a bit in general is definately the right thing to do. All the kids i've known to be bullied are always small and quite pathetic (not saying you are either). If you toughen up there will be no need to talk to teachers/parents, and no need to fight, as if they see you as a force to be reckoned with, they won't touch you.
Also i find a certain degree of "cockyness" and uttmost self confidence is invaluable and will go a LONG way. This shows them you are not scared at all, and actually rather amused by how they think they're so hardcore.
Only way to stop them imo is aim for the upper lip, you miss you hit the nose or the teeth. Thats what I did at school since the age of 6 after my dad telling me. I never lost a fight. Dont be a push over, if you are (which I would call a poof, harsh I know) then go to a teacher.
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xyphic said:
they dont bother me at all at school because i am always with at least 3 people and they dont bother most of the way home because i walk with 4 mates who live near but i live furthest away so am always alone for part of the walk home. I am trying not to hit back at them as they would then go away and tell all their mates and they would be waiting for me (the same gang hit out at a lad at my school and broke his nose and jaw (about 4 on 1) his face was in a right state afterwards and none of them were expelled (unfortunatly the fight made the lad change schools).
I saw them today and just walked the other way home i thought it just best to avoid them, and they dont give me any hassle when im outside with my mates (some my age some 17-20) infact they try to be friendly saying like "o we were only joking earlier" (shows what big men they are
)
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Nathan said:
i aint (or would like to think so) no pushover and i aint never been to a teacher about anything ive had my fair share of fights (one of which i lost, against the guys hus mates i am now having trouble with) but hitting out at these guys will only make it worse as they will get there cronnies on me
I was also bullied at school, at the age of about 10 - 11 or so, and it made my shool life a misery.
I ended up telling my mother about it (in fact she worked it out of me somehow) and left it at that. The next day, at school, the main culprit actually came up to me and apologised which amazed me. The bullying stopped as the others followed the first and it felt as though a massive weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
Things got a lot better after that as I actually got in with another group and had nothing to do with the first bunch. I actually have a fair amount of respect for the guy who apologised as looking back it was probably quite a hard thing for him to do at that time and age, he could have just been bitter and stuck to taunts and talking behind my back, non of which he did. I wouldn't give the time of day to the others.
This might be of no use to you but I thought it might be worth mentioning that talking to parents can have the desired effect. I still have no idea what my mother did but I guess she spoke to "his" parents.
I ended up telling my mother about it (in fact she worked it out of me somehow) and left it at that. The next day, at school, the main culprit actually came up to me and apologised which amazed me. The bullying stopped as the others followed the first and it felt as though a massive weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
Things got a lot better after that as I actually got in with another group and had nothing to do with the first bunch. I actually have a fair amount of respect for the guy who apologised as looking back it was probably quite a hard thing for him to do at that time and age, he could have just been bitter and stuck to taunts and talking behind my back, non of which he did. I wouldn't give the time of day to the others.
This might be of no use to you but I thought it might be worth mentioning that talking to parents can have the desired effect. I still have no idea what my mother did but I guess she spoke to "his" parents.
lol, ok, punch anyone anywhere in the chest or head, and you could kill them, the nose really isnt special.Oliver said:
Yes, the fact this could happen is very true, the realistic probability of anyone ever hitting someone hard enough to do it, is next to 0%. The same goes for people who think bruce lee would take someone like Fedor with a quick blow to the temple or throat, it just doesnt happen like that in real life.Neon said:
A straight blow to the nose would knock the whole head back, the bones wouldnt just implode upwards into the brain, they would break because of how they bend.
uneducated and gullible people watch to many movies and believe in myth over hard evidence to discuss combat in my experiance, the whole "omg a blow to the nose can kill because you push it into there brain" is one of these myths.
Why not?Oliver said:
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willd58 said:Why not?
cuz dey r gurls ya cant smack a gurl in tha face
comp builder said:hi everyone, i have a little problem with some lads at my school (i have posted on here as i dont know where else to go i dont want to tell my mum and dad, will explain why in a mo).
There are 3 lads at my school that i used to hang around with until one of them beat me up (for nothing) a year odd ago. i left it as long as possible till i went home because i didnt want my mum and dad to see the bruises on my face but when i finally had to go home later that night they were still visible and she made me tell her about it.
After that i stopped hanging around with them (which i would have done even if i hadnt got in a fight beause i realised they were **** heads and were starting to get into a lot of trouble) and everything settled down until earlier today as i was walking home, i saw 2 of the lads (the one that had beat me up wasnt there) and they started pushing me around and throwing stones at me, i wasnt about to hit them for 2 reasons 1. there was two of them and i was alone and 2. they are in a big gang at school and thats one of the reasons i dont want to tell my mum and dad because if i did i would get beat up by this gang of theirs and i dont want to tell a teacher for the same reason and i dont want to be a grass or you get that sort of reputation at my school (kind of sad really). i dont know why i posted this i just wanted to get it off my chest and tell somone i suppose
paragraphed
I was bullied at high school by a couple of **** a year above me . This went on for about a week then the silly ***** decided to push me and slap me around and i snapped and laid into both of them and knocked seven shades of **** out of them they both avoided me like the plague afterwards
.^TANK^ said:I was bullied at high school by a couple of **** a year above me . This went on for about a week then the silly ***** decided to push me and slap me around and i snapped and laid into both of them and knocked seven shades of **** out of them they both avoided me like the plague afterwards
Yeah this does tend to work quite well
Although I always ended up getting in trouble when I retaliated (which admittedly was whenever anyone started )