A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging from his crotch.

OP

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“Doctor doctor, I keep imagining I’m a bridge”

“What’s come over you?”

“So far about 5 cars, 3 buses and a bicycle”
 
Probably being a bit dim but what relevance is him being a pirate to the joke? Seems like it’d work with any person?
 
How do you make your own anti freeze, take off her nightie.

I bought a jack in the box from eBay for 50p and it doesn't work, why am I not surprised

i was sacked from the hospital for stealing neck braces, but at least I can leave with my head held high
 
Totally confused where the pirate and bar have made their way into this joke. That joke used to be simply a man walking into a doctors.

Anyway

Man walks into the doctors complaining of red lumps growing out of his bum, "let me have a look" says the Doctor.
"Are they haemorrhoids?" asks the man
"No" says the Doctor "they're Strawberries"
"Strawberries!" cries the man
"Yes" says the Doctor "But don't worry, I'll get you some cream"
 
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A rat walks into a bar.
“Yarrrrr what food do you serve?”
“We have fish and chips or steak and ale pie”
“Excellent - do you take pieces of eight as payment?”
“Yup”
Rat takes a seat and a portion of fish and chips is sent to him.
“Yarrrrr what you doing!!! I’m a pie rat!!!”
 
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