Really? What specifically are you disputing? I showed my post to a BASE-jumper friend and he says I'm spot on.
Last edited:
A relationship thread we've probably never seen before...
- Thread starter _PD_
- Start date
Really? What specifically are you disputing? I showed my post to a BASE-jumper friend and he says I'm spot on.
okay i didnt realize it was the no.1 most dangerous sport on the planet. 
I think maybe as a one-off event he could do one jump...but as a regular thing then no.
If its a one-off thing then he could do it to get it out of his system (and hopefully not get addicted to it)
But your'e deluding yourself if you think most couples dont tell white lies to smooth things in a relationship. Its not cowardly at all... its keeping your head above water. Say for example you dont like your gf's cooking at all but she loves to cook and takes pleasure in having you sample her cooking. Now do you tell her that no her cooking disgusts you? that you cant stand it? Or do you put up with it?
Or say she has a really annoying little habit that she cant help. (she doesnt notice she does it) Do you tell her how much it annoys you? Or do you keep quiet? If you tell the truth it will very much hurt her.. but if you dont say anything is that cowardly? Little secret...things you dont like but you wont tell her because you appreciate the whole person.
Basically you have to calculate how much of a deal it is to the relationship. If the OP is only going to do ONE basejump and only one then i dont see what the problem is. He can just do it and then come clean later (after hes jumped) and say he had to do it to get it out his system and apologize but he wont do it again. He's not outright lying there at all. Its an omission. Think about the greater good.
Its easy to just call it cowardly...but relationship issues are rarely black and white, and nice and clear....yet always murky and difficult.
I think maybe as a one-off event he could do one jump...but as a regular thing then no.
If its a one-off thing then he could do it to get it out of his system (and hopefully not get addicted to it)
But your'e deluding yourself if you think most couples dont tell white lies to smooth things in a relationship. Its not cowardly at all... its keeping your head above water. Say for example you dont like your gf's cooking at all but she loves to cook and takes pleasure in having you sample her cooking. Now do you tell her that no her cooking disgusts you? that you cant stand it? Or do you put up with it?
Or say she has a really annoying little habit that she cant help. (she doesnt notice she does it) Do you tell her how much it annoys you? Or do you keep quiet? If you tell the truth it will very much hurt her.. but if you dont say anything is that cowardly? Little secret...things you dont like but you wont tell her because you appreciate the whole person.
Basically you have to calculate how much of a deal it is to the relationship. If the OP is only going to do ONE basejump and only one then i dont see what the problem is. He can just do it and then come clean later (after hes jumped) and say he had to do it to get it out his system and apologize but he wont do it again. He's not outright lying there at all. Its an omission. Think about the greater good.
Its easy to just call it cowardly...but relationship issues are rarely black and white, and nice and clear....yet always murky and difficult.
Lying about BASE and lying about quality of cooking are two COMPLETELY seperate issues. I accept the risk with BASE, and if I bounce I don't want to do so with no-one knowing where I am.
I am not, at all, in any way, ever, going to lie about this to people I love.
neo - I don't want to turn this into BASE discussion - that's for another place another time, but, you said this:
BASE gear and skydiving gear are different things. Malfunctions happen frequently on skydiving kit, but not BASE, as it operates in a different way. The extraction of the canopy is different, and the canopy itself is a large 7 cell square canopy, not a small eliptical x-braced thing!
This means that the malfunctions that occur in skydiving are much rarer in base, and sometimes even impossible (e.g. a baglock). Also, packing is taken very seriously - I'll pack my skydiving canopy in 15mins at most, and as long as it looks OK, I'll jump it. BASE canopies take 30-40 minutes to pack, and are packed in a different way to ensure an on-heading opening and reduce the chance of a lineover.
If you do get a lineover, there's not a "99.99% chance of certain death", you simply have to cut that line. If you get any other kind of malfunction (e.g. twist or snivelling opening - that's pretty much the extent of likely malfunctions), they SHOULD work out OK - if not, you still won't have a "99.99% chance of certain death" as you have SOMETHING above your head to slow you down - maybe you get a broken leg, but you're not definately dead.
The main hazard, as you say, is an object strike under canopy.
I'd like to leave it like that on a BASE front, and keep this about me and my Mrs, if you want to talk more start a new thread or send me an e-mail.
I appreciate your interest.
Cheers,
PD
I am not, at all, in any way, ever, going to lie about this to people I love.
neo - I don't want to turn this into BASE discussion - that's for another place another time, but, you said this:
BASE gear and skydiving gear are different things. Malfunctions happen frequently on skydiving kit, but not BASE, as it operates in a different way. The extraction of the canopy is different, and the canopy itself is a large 7 cell square canopy, not a small eliptical x-braced thing!
This means that the malfunctions that occur in skydiving are much rarer in base, and sometimes even impossible (e.g. a baglock). Also, packing is taken very seriously - I'll pack my skydiving canopy in 15mins at most, and as long as it looks OK, I'll jump it. BASE canopies take 30-40 minutes to pack, and are packed in a different way to ensure an on-heading opening and reduce the chance of a lineover.
If you do get a lineover, there's not a "99.99% chance of certain death", you simply have to cut that line. If you get any other kind of malfunction (e.g. twist or snivelling opening - that's pretty much the extent of likely malfunctions), they SHOULD work out OK - if not, you still won't have a "99.99% chance of certain death" as you have SOMETHING above your head to slow you down - maybe you get a broken leg, but you're not definately dead.
The main hazard, as you say, is an object strike under canopy.
I'd like to leave it like that on a BASE front, and keep this about me and my Mrs, if you want to talk more start a new thread or send me an e-mail.
I appreciate your interest.
Cheers,
PD
Is an ommission a lie? 
Not necessarily....people you have to think of the bigger picture.
On a personal note you say you love her and you dont want to "lie" to her then i dont see any other option other than no dont do it dude
Hopefully you wont be harbouring any kind of regret or other feelings about not getting the chance to jump.
edit OT heres the Most dangerous sports in the world list (Forbes)
1. Base-jumping
2. Heliskiing
3. Diving
4. Cave Diving
5. Bull Riding
6. Surfing
7. Street Luging
8. Mountain Climbing
9. Cyclocross
10. Rafting
Not necessarily....people you have to think of the bigger picture.On a personal note you say you love her and you dont want to "lie" to her then i dont see any other option other than no dont do it dude
Hopefully you wont be harbouring any kind of regret or other feelings about not getting the chance to jump.
edit OT heres the Most dangerous sports in the world list (Forbes)
1. Base-jumping
2. Heliskiing
3. Diving
4. Cave Diving
5. Bull Riding
6. Surfing
7. Street Luging
8. Mountain Climbing
9. Cyclocross
10. Rafting
Last edited:
Soldato
- Joined
- 18 Oct 2002
- Posts
- 11,702
- Location
- Cheshire
Relationships are all about compromise im afraid, if you want it to work.... you can't have it all your own way. If she's adamant she doesnt want you to do it (and its for the right reasons) then maybe you just have to accept that for now....... obviously until you can convince her otherwise....
Why can't she make the compromise?
Whatever you do, whether you jump or not do not lie about it!
If you lie about it and you die (or just get hurt) doing it, then it's definately not going to "spare her feelings" when she realises you've not only died, but you did so doing it behind her back. From what has been said here she's seriously concerned and doing it and lying will utterly shatter any trust you have.
For those complaining that she's not made the compromise. She's already done that on the skydiving thing, you've got to give a little too.
A few options;
A) Don't do it, at least for now. You can always BASE later, she won't be waiting a few years down the line if you break up over it and change your mind.
B) Try to bring her around to your point of view, be prepared for this to take a long time although if you can get her interested in skydiving it's good start. Anything you can show her about safety measures will help (avoid gruesome videos or any such..) as well as any extra precautions you can take. (medical insurance, doing it in any particularly safer conditions, bringing her with you so she can see you're still okay etc)
C) Do it for a limited time, and let her know this. If it's something you absolutely have to do and couldn't live without trying right now, you might be able to get away with just doing a couple of jumps as she'll find it easier to cope with the worries if she knows it's not permanent. This could however backfire if you can't stop doing it once you start.
C) Find a new thrill, there's lots of things you can do out there which may not have the same negative affect on your relationship. One worry may be that if you've moved on to skydiving from this, she may be afraid you'll find an even more dangerous/scary extension to continue on if you're a bit of an adrenalin junkie.
If you lie about it and you die (or just get hurt) doing it, then it's definately not going to "spare her feelings" when she realises you've not only died, but you did so doing it behind her back. From what has been said here she's seriously concerned and doing it and lying will utterly shatter any trust you have.
For those complaining that she's not made the compromise. She's already done that on the skydiving thing, you've got to give a little too.
A few options;
A) Don't do it, at least for now. You can always BASE later, she won't be waiting a few years down the line if you break up over it and change your mind.
B) Try to bring her around to your point of view, be prepared for this to take a long time although if you can get her interested in skydiving it's good start. Anything you can show her about safety measures will help (avoid gruesome videos or any such..) as well as any extra precautions you can take. (medical insurance, doing it in any particularly safer conditions, bringing her with you so she can see you're still okay etc)
C) Do it for a limited time, and let her know this. If it's something you absolutely have to do and couldn't live without trying right now, you might be able to get away with just doing a couple of jumps as she'll find it easier to cope with the worries if she knows it's not permanent. This could however backfire if you can't stop doing it once you start.
C) Find a new thrill, there's lots of things you can do out there which may not have the same negative affect on your relationship. One worry may be that if you've moved on to skydiving from this, she may be afraid you'll find an even more dangerous/scary extension to continue on if you're a bit of an adrenalin junkie.
Soldato
- Joined
- 18 Oct 2002
- Posts
- 11,702
- Location
- Cheshire
She's "letting" him skydive already
Of course not. She would be more likely to leave because she is tired of the stress of worrying about his safety.
Yes you are being selfish and I would otherwise empathise with you, but due to the fact she is being completely selfless in insisting you are not going to do as you wish I feel you should respect and honour the fact that as your partner she is just worried about your wellbeing and safety, atleast not until she ever does actually come round to the idea.
Come on, she's allowed you to skydive already. It's not like she is being completely unreasonable.
Come on, she's allowed you to skydive already. It's not like she is being completely unreasonable.
lol unbelievable.....
how very kind of her to give him permission to do that...
Hehehe...
ahh i get it now... women compromising is them LETTING the guy do a few things he likes, ta for clearing that up
Last edited:
He is selfish for wanting to be happy - she only wants him to be safe so is a good person?
So he can be miserable and safe with her, slowly hating her for limiting him, or he can lie and live a double life - never talking about his passion with her, growing more distant and cold.
If she can't get over her fear maybe they should just split - neither of them will really be happy if they go on pretending to support each others loves / fears.
The high divorce and break-up rate is not surprising if many people share this sentiment. Every time you can't agree in a relationship the answer is to break up. How wasteful.
Associate
- Joined
- 10 Oct 2007
- Posts
- 1,165
- Location
- in the arse of england.
![[TR]SweetSpotOz](/styles/overclockers/avatars/6.png){kind=avatar}
Soldato
- Joined
- 5 Mar 2006
- Posts
- 6,183
- Location
- everywhere
/
Last edited:
You are wrong on both counts, to a degree. You are partially in control of whether your chute fails (careful packing, maintenance, safety checks etc).
And while all cars are controlled by people, other people controlling their cars in a way that causes you to die is the same kind of random event as your chute failing. You could be killed in car crash through no fault of your own.
Soldato
- Joined
- 28 Nov 2004
- Posts
- 16,024
- Location
- 9th Inner Circle
My life expectancy must be dropping as I enjoy those in bold and wouldn't mind a go at Street Luge.
Also can we please stop saying BASE. Really grinds my gears!