As a new member to the forums this is extremely hard and yet having looked through a good deal of posts I feel I may be able to find plenty of genuine mature assistance.
In Dec of 2007 my mother in law found out her husband had been conducting an affair, they went through the usual battles couples do and decided that they would give it another go. On a visit to their home I'm commented to her that I'd felt he was really suffering as he was very quiet and appeared grey in palour.
I also explained that from a man's perspective it was entirely possible he wasn't over this affair and that he was still torn between his wife and the otehr woman, this wasn't easy to say but I'm a plain speaking person and would rather make a comment and be proven wrong than say nothing and have it all come to the surface later, plus I only had her interests at heart. my partner agreed that her father hadn't been his usual self and that she felt he was hiding something.
A week ago today ( wed 13th jan ) I visited theri home and informed my mother in law about keylogging software. I explained exactly what it did, how it worked, I gave her a practical demonstration. She told me she'd like to have it installed on the PC the family uses in the dining room as she felt the affair had either never been ended or that he'd resumed it.
I installed the software and told her that if we chacked back in a week his would give sufficient time to assess whether he was still invlolved, my mother in law attends several evening classes a week so she saw the sense in this as it gave him plenty of time alone, on leaving the house I gave her the hidden key combination to bring up the key logs / screen shots taken if she wanted to check at anytime, I said I'd return on Fri to check it over as we'd arranged to visit her anyway.
My partner and I arrived at the house on Fri morning and found my mother in law and my partners younger sister in floods of tears, we figured our fears had been justified and sure enough they were, we'd found msn conversations, text messages sent via mobile and facbook messages on the pc. At this point I felt terrible but at least I knew that my mother in law could finally see what a lousy liar her husband had been and that she could instigate divorce proceedings.
I hadn't prepared myself for what I discovered whilst checking the logs for her, as I sat there and scanned the screenshots folder ( set to grab images every 2 mins ) I saw something that literally made my knees buckle, He had been looking at images of child pornography, and on further investigation of screenshots it was obvious he had a collection dating back over 2 years archived on zip disk. The explorer window clearly showed folders titled "janine hot" "paddling pool playtime" among many many more,windows image viewer was open with a full screen image of a girl who could have been no more than 9 or 10 naked with her legs open.
I fell apart insdie but tried to stay calm and explain everything in detail to my partner and her family, I can't put into words their reaction and feelings as words fail me. we epsnt an hour talking about events and I told them in no uncertain tersmt that this was not an "accidental" slip on to a web page but that these images had been kept on removable media and built up over time, my partner explained that her faher had dozens of zip disks I couldn't comprehend just how vast his collection could be. I took a walk and bought some smokes ( I quit 6 months ago ) as I walked I pulled out my mobile and considered calling the police.
We'd discussed this back at the house earlier and they as a family had decided they wanted to confront him with the evidence first, I printed out a few sheets which clearly exposed his vile secret. They decided that they'd wait for him to return home from work at 4pm then they'd give him the option to either turn himself in or they'd call the police, I wasn't able to be present as I'd had to return home to collect our daughter from nursery ( yes we've got a 3 yr old baby girl as if it could be any worse ) However I told them if at anytime they needed me to call me and I'd be right back, I also made a point of telling them not to leave him alone once they've confronted him and to keep their mobiles ready in case he becomes violent.
At 5pm my partner called me and explaine dthat he'd confessed he'd been doing it for years, he pulled out all the usual excuses, the pressure of his career, problems between his wife and himself and finally resorting to the fact that his sister was abused as a child, I assured my partner that this was a well established chain of comment directed at seeking to play upon their emotions in an effort not to take action. At this point I asked where he was she explined that her mum and sister where in the garden and that my partner was in the kitchen, he was in the lounge. I went ballistic and screamed at her to check where he was, sure enough the front door was open and he had fled.
I was filled with rage I know they were all extremely distressed and unbalanced but I'd made it clear he was not to be left alone, to make matters worse they still hadn't called the police!, I told my partner I was calling them she emplored me not to and told me she would as she needed to report him as missing, apparently he'd made comments about life not being worth living etc. They called the police and her father returned home within an hour or so having claimed he'd tried to kill himself with the exhaust of the car. I pointed out the had an unleaded low emission vehicle and her father had a degree in engineering! he knew damn well it wasn't possible and was yet again looking for a way out.
So far it seems bad enough, In my mind it now gets much , much worse. when he'd left the house earlier he had removed his zip disk's and had thrown them into a nearby river! I wasn't present but have been told that he'd been interviewed briefly ( approx 15 mins ) and the police had thn removed the PC I had installed the keylogger on, but not his onw personal system upstairs! now thry live in a small village and the local station is nothing more than a house but surely for god's sake even the most backwater plod knows how serious this matter is ?
To date he has not been arrested or charged, indeed he's just been away for the weekend with his other woman, and yes it seems he has told her about it and she is standing by him! my mother in law is trying to defend him by saying it may have been a mistake and that he needs help, The police have still not searched the area surrounding the spot he said he threw away those disks nor have they contacted me or taken any form of statement from me.
I'm actually starting to question the fact that he has been reported, it just doesn't add up. I'm no expert but aside from terorism I'd have felt that paedophilia ranked as one of if not the most high priority cases the police have to deal with, indeed as a man and a parent I can think of nothing lower in terms of sheer horror and degredation.
The advice I need is this do I seem to be over reacting, have I let my emotions cloud my judgement and should I have more faith in the justice system? I'm aware of the whole ethos surrounding "keyboard warriors" but if no action is taken by the police I've seen enough to know this man is not fit to walk the streets, do I have the right to approach the police myself and demand further investigation?
In Dec of 2007 my mother in law found out her husband had been conducting an affair, they went through the usual battles couples do and decided that they would give it another go. On a visit to their home I'm commented to her that I'd felt he was really suffering as he was very quiet and appeared grey in palour.
I also explained that from a man's perspective it was entirely possible he wasn't over this affair and that he was still torn between his wife and the otehr woman, this wasn't easy to say but I'm a plain speaking person and would rather make a comment and be proven wrong than say nothing and have it all come to the surface later, plus I only had her interests at heart. my partner agreed that her father hadn't been his usual self and that she felt he was hiding something.
A week ago today ( wed 13th jan ) I visited theri home and informed my mother in law about keylogging software. I explained exactly what it did, how it worked, I gave her a practical demonstration. She told me she'd like to have it installed on the PC the family uses in the dining room as she felt the affair had either never been ended or that he'd resumed it.
I installed the software and told her that if we chacked back in a week his would give sufficient time to assess whether he was still invlolved, my mother in law attends several evening classes a week so she saw the sense in this as it gave him plenty of time alone, on leaving the house I gave her the hidden key combination to bring up the key logs / screen shots taken if she wanted to check at anytime, I said I'd return on Fri to check it over as we'd arranged to visit her anyway.
My partner and I arrived at the house on Fri morning and found my mother in law and my partners younger sister in floods of tears, we figured our fears had been justified and sure enough they were, we'd found msn conversations, text messages sent via mobile and facbook messages on the pc. At this point I felt terrible but at least I knew that my mother in law could finally see what a lousy liar her husband had been and that she could instigate divorce proceedings.
I hadn't prepared myself for what I discovered whilst checking the logs for her, as I sat there and scanned the screenshots folder ( set to grab images every 2 mins ) I saw something that literally made my knees buckle, He had been looking at images of child pornography, and on further investigation of screenshots it was obvious he had a collection dating back over 2 years archived on zip disk. The explorer window clearly showed folders titled "janine hot" "paddling pool playtime" among many many more,windows image viewer was open with a full screen image of a girl who could have been no more than 9 or 10 naked with her legs open.
I fell apart insdie but tried to stay calm and explain everything in detail to my partner and her family, I can't put into words their reaction and feelings as words fail me. we epsnt an hour talking about events and I told them in no uncertain tersmt that this was not an "accidental" slip on to a web page but that these images had been kept on removable media and built up over time, my partner explained that her faher had dozens of zip disks I couldn't comprehend just how vast his collection could be. I took a walk and bought some smokes ( I quit 6 months ago ) as I walked I pulled out my mobile and considered calling the police.
We'd discussed this back at the house earlier and they as a family had decided they wanted to confront him with the evidence first, I printed out a few sheets which clearly exposed his vile secret. They decided that they'd wait for him to return home from work at 4pm then they'd give him the option to either turn himself in or they'd call the police, I wasn't able to be present as I'd had to return home to collect our daughter from nursery ( yes we've got a 3 yr old baby girl as if it could be any worse ) However I told them if at anytime they needed me to call me and I'd be right back, I also made a point of telling them not to leave him alone once they've confronted him and to keep their mobiles ready in case he becomes violent.
At 5pm my partner called me and explaine dthat he'd confessed he'd been doing it for years, he pulled out all the usual excuses, the pressure of his career, problems between his wife and himself and finally resorting to the fact that his sister was abused as a child, I assured my partner that this was a well established chain of comment directed at seeking to play upon their emotions in an effort not to take action. At this point I asked where he was she explined that her mum and sister where in the garden and that my partner was in the kitchen, he was in the lounge. I went ballistic and screamed at her to check where he was, sure enough the front door was open and he had fled.
I was filled with rage I know they were all extremely distressed and unbalanced but I'd made it clear he was not to be left alone, to make matters worse they still hadn't called the police!, I told my partner I was calling them she emplored me not to and told me she would as she needed to report him as missing, apparently he'd made comments about life not being worth living etc. They called the police and her father returned home within an hour or so having claimed he'd tried to kill himself with the exhaust of the car. I pointed out the had an unleaded low emission vehicle and her father had a degree in engineering! he knew damn well it wasn't possible and was yet again looking for a way out.
So far it seems bad enough, In my mind it now gets much , much worse. when he'd left the house earlier he had removed his zip disk's and had thrown them into a nearby river! I wasn't present but have been told that he'd been interviewed briefly ( approx 15 mins ) and the police had thn removed the PC I had installed the keylogger on, but not his onw personal system upstairs! now thry live in a small village and the local station is nothing more than a house but surely for god's sake even the most backwater plod knows how serious this matter is ?
To date he has not been arrested or charged, indeed he's just been away for the weekend with his other woman, and yes it seems he has told her about it and she is standing by him! my mother in law is trying to defend him by saying it may have been a mistake and that he needs help, The police have still not searched the area surrounding the spot he said he threw away those disks nor have they contacted me or taken any form of statement from me.
I'm actually starting to question the fact that he has been reported, it just doesn't add up. I'm no expert but aside from terorism I'd have felt that paedophilia ranked as one of if not the most high priority cases the police have to deal with, indeed as a man and a parent I can think of nothing lower in terms of sheer horror and degredation.
The advice I need is this do I seem to be over reacting, have I let my emotions cloud my judgement and should I have more faith in the justice system? I'm aware of the whole ethos surrounding "keyboard warriors" but if no action is taken by the police I've seen enough to know this man is not fit to walk the streets, do I have the right to approach the police myself and demand further investigation?
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