Advice on CV opening statement

Jimbeam3678

Jimbeam3678

Jimbeam3678

Soldato
Joined
8 Dec 2002
Posts
21,269
Location
North Yorkshire
Hey I've got a slight problem with my CV I have good base of CV which I had written before I went travelling at the rip all old age of 31:p

Now here's my brief statement about myself

A self-motivated, dedicated, logical thinker with valuable experience within the Computer and Customer Care industry. Able to work under pressure using strong interpersonal and communication skills. Eager to get back into Computer and Customer care industry after travelling for 18 months around Australia (delete maybe)


Now up until Eager to get back in blah blah .... I'm pretty certain its worded ok.

I'm just trying to explain in the best way that the reason why I have been doing bar jobs in Australia etc etc is because I was travelling. I've tried to show that in the last sentence.

I hoping someone could word it in a better way for me though. Finding it difficult to get across in a concise manner so the reader doesn't fall asleep. But finding even more difficult to construct a sentence or 2 at most to explain it.

Any constructive ideas maybe from someone who has been in s similar situation to me ? If it makes a difference before I traveled I was working and supporting Epos systems for a convenience company.

So fire away thanks in advance:)
 
Eager to return to this field after travelling for 18 months around Australia

Perhaps?You've already mentioned what field you've worked in before and they know what job you're applying for, so no need to mention it twice IMO.

I'd leave the travelling bit in, employers want people who have a bit of life experience, and have done something more than just push paper around all day.

(Threads with no replies annoy me) :p
 
So you think the fact that I worked in oz as a bar person explains its self in regards to me travelling? wasn't 100% sure on this ?

any other opinions would be great.

Other people must have been travelling and had a similar problem on there CV
 
God, I hate this modern style of opening statement. That aside: yeah, definitely be upfront about the travelling, I doubt many companies will hold it against you, whilst a weird 18 month gap of odd jobs in Oz without explanation will look shonky.
 
Mr Jack said:
God, I hate this modern style of opening statement. That aside: yeah, definitely be upfront about the travelling, I doubt many companies will hold it against you, whilst a weird 18 month gap of odd jobs in Oz without explanation will look shonky.
Click to expand...

So you think the opening statement is good as I wrote or leave out 18 months in Australia bit ?

Appreciate your advice
 
I'd leave in the Aussie bit personally, its just a brief statement and explains why there's a "gap" there. Its their choice if they want to ask you what you did, as anyone with 2 brain cells probably worked out it wasnt an 18 month holiday ;)
 
matt_fsr said:
I'd leave in the Aussie bit personally, its just a brief statement and explains why there's a "gap" there. Its their choice if they want to ask you what you did, as anyone with 2 brain cells probably worked out it wasnt an 18 month holiday ;)
Click to expand...

indeed it was hard work :p but my work history in Oz is 11 months of hard graft which is shown clearly in my CV;)

So for the opening statement its looks ok?
 
I'm been brave rip it apart as you feel free. Bare in mind it is formatted in word so are bullet points etc etc


ADAM ___________
Mobile: 0450887***
Email: adamBLAH [email protected]

A self-motivated, dedicated, logical thinker with valuable experience within the Computer and Customer Care industry. Able to work under pressure using strong interpersonal and communication skills. Eager to get back into Computer and Customer care industry after travelling for 18 months around Australia


CAREER HISTORY

Top End Bar and Bottleshop Darwin Australia June 2009 - February 2010

Bartender and Bottleshop Attendent

KEY RESPONSIBILITIES

Serving Customers drinks in a responsible manner
Dealing with difficult and aggressive customers under pressure in a calm manner
Keeping record of Best sellers and liaising with various company Representatives
Maintain there pricing and ordering structure using there Epos Solution






Franklins Bar and Tavern Perth Australia Feb 2009 – May 2009

Bar Tender

KEY RESPONSIBILITIES
Serving Customers drinks in a responsible manner
Maintaining Cellar and Other storage area
Taking Food orders and serving food
Serving and maintaining stock in the bottle shop area



The Windmill Pub March 2008 – Feb 2009

Bar Tender (2nd Job)

KEY RESPONSIBILITIES

· Serving customers drinks responsibly
· Taking food orders
· Taking hotel and table reservations





******* "@#$%^markets Group

A supermarket chain with over 1500 outlets throughout the UK.


EPOS Support Officer Nov 2006 – Feb 2009

KEY RESPONSIBILITIES

· Advising customers on how best to implement software into their businesses and what benefits this would bring.
· Maintenance and repairing databases using Microsoft Access and FoxPro
· Configuring routers to enable sites to access our VPN’s
· Pre installation on site visits to discuss various potential problems
· Pre configuration of till and server hardware in preparation for site installations
· Creating gold images for new server and till hardware specifications
· Maintaining and Implementing a Chip and Pin Solution
· Supply 2nd and 3rd line support to over 600 customers on a 24 hour 365 day basis
· Remote support using various VPN’S and PC Anywhere software
· Working closely with developers to help improve and implement new ideas to our Electronic Point of Sale (EPOS) solution
· Undertake testing of new software code
· Providing support to our network of onsite engineers and 3rd party hardware engineers
· Introducing and demonstrating our software to new customers of the company
· Writing and keeping up to date training documentation
· Buying and maintaining stock with regards to complete till and Server solutions



EPOS Installations Supervisor Nov 2004 – Nov 2006

KEY RESPONSIBILITIES

· Supervising a team of up to 10 engineers
· Assisting the development team with Software changes
· Working closely with customers to implement EPOS into their store
· Ensuring all prices within the store have been entered and configured correctly
· Conducting 1 to 1 on site training to store staff


EPOS Installations Engineer April 2003 – Nov 2004

KEY RESPONSIBILITIES

· Installation and configuration of modern computer based tills.
· Setting up and configuration of Servers
· Networking Tills and PC’s to CAT 5 standards
· Working closely with managers of various stores to solve unique problems to their store
· Repairing and maintenance of previously installed tills and PC’s
· Supply training and Desktop support on several different EPOS programs




Newland Paints Limited Aug 2000 - April 2003
Sales Assistant

Newland Paints LTD is part of a small chain of specialist paint shops for the trade paint industry.

SKILLS & EDUCATION

- Large knowledge of all computer hardware including several computer systems to high specifications.
- Comprehensive understanding of Microsoft products
- Advanced GNVQ Computer Aided Engineering
- B in A Level Business studies
- NVQ 2 Level 2 Electrical Systems
- NVQ 2 Level 2 Metal Work
- NVQ 2 Health & Safety in the Workplace
- 9 GCSE’s including Maths and English

Again appreciate any constructive advice no GD humor thanks :-)
 
divaboy said:
I'm been brave rip it apart as you feel free. Bare in mind it is formatted in word so are bullet points etc etc


ADAM ___________
Mobile: 0450887***
Email: adamBLAH [email protected]

A self-motivated, dedicated, logical thinker with valuable experience within the Computer and Customer Care industry. Able to work under pressure using strong interpersonal and communication skills. Eager to get back into Computer and Customer care industry after travelling for 18 months around Australia


CAREER HISTORY

Top End Bar and Bottleshop Darwin Australia June 2009 - February 2010

Bartender and Bottleshop Attendent

KEY RESPONSIBILITIES

Serving Customers drinks in a responsible manner
Dealing with difficult and aggressive customers under pressure in a calm manner
Keeping record of Best sellers and liaising with various company Representatives
Maintain their pricing and ordering structure using their Epos Solution
Click to expand...

Sorry. /grammar Nazi
 
Why mention the bar jobs, they are irrelevant to what you are applying for and just show you needed some slush money on your travels so took a quick and easy job?
 
a1ex2001 said:
Why mention the bar jobs, they are irrelevant to what you are applying for and just show you needed some slush money on your travels so took a quick and easy job?
Click to expand...
My thoughts entirely. It isn't really relevant experience and you answer the period of "unemployment" with the travelling. Ofc you can see in interview "yes I travelled around, I sometimes work to help with costs" etc., but I wouldn't take up CV space for it :)
 
a1ex2001 said:
Why mention the bar jobs, they are irrelevant to what you are applying for and just show you needed some slush money on your travels so took a quick and easy job?
Click to expand...

PMKeates said:
My thoughts entirely. It isn't really relevant experience and you answer the period of "unemployment" with the travelling. Ofc you can see in interview "yes I travelled around, I sometimes work to help with costs" etc., but I wouldn't take up CV space for it :)
Click to expand...

Surely though in the initial contact someone looking at the CV without the bar jobs , it appears that I have just dossed around traveling.

Where with the bar jobs on shows I was willing to work and to some employers gained work experience in different culture work environments blah blah

Not dismissing you both, just explaining as to why I put the bar jobs in.

Any other thoughts? Apart from the bar job you both think the it reads ok ?:)
 
Eager to return to the Computer and Customer care industry after travelling around Australia for an eighteen month period.

maybe?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom