Am I being out of order?! *Relationship warning!!*

Totality

Totality

Totality

Soldato
Joined
5 Jul 2007
Posts
2,571
Location
NZ
Right.

Long story short. Long distance with current GF of almost a year. A few months ago her ex comes back out of the blue and things happen. I dump her, move on and find someone else. She comes back saying how she only wants me, etc I've moved on so it shows I didnt love her, etc, etc. So being the idiot I am I get rid of the new GF and get back with the ex.

Fast forward to 3 months on. Her ex lives 30mins from her. I live 2 hours away. She still hangs round him (only as a friend she says) stays over his place and still has a key to his place!! Each time she does this we argue and she runs to him for comfort. Does my head in.

Anyway. The last few weeks have been pretty eventless and things have been getting better and better until the coming weekend. She was due to come down to visit but has cancelled as its his B'Day party and she wants to go there as it will "hurt his feelings" if she doesnt go. And no I cant come along!

I've pretty much had enough. My head gets screwed up each weekend but she always claims she doesnt love him anymore and just stays at his as a friend. She wants me to move up there to live with her and this will involve giving up my friends and job down here!!

I told her a week or so ago that if she really is serious about it and wants me to give up everything she will have to at least give up him as it causes arguments everytime she sees him after the history of her cheating on me with him. She claims I'm paranoid but would people say its a reasonable request my end? I cant see how hurting his feelings by not going to his bday is better than hurting mine by choosing to go to his party instead of seeing me!!

Am I completely screwed in the head or would others here just drop her and be done. I really want to just get rid of her but my head is so messed up these days I dont know if I'm just being paranoid.

Opinions please from the masses! Would you accept your GF who cheated on you with her ex and whose ex still admits he loves her? She claims I'm an idiot and I should stop being so paranoid but surely this isnt on from someone who wants me to move up there?

After typing all this I can see that I'm an idiot and if a friend told me all this I'd tell him to open his eyes!! But I've written it all now so I'm going to post it anyway and get ridiculed :p
 
I suppose you want a serious reply, but I do in fact think the phrase "punch her in the ovaries" actually would apply. She sounds like an insecure little head**** mate, move on :)
 
Ditch her, you obliviously don't trust her. Without trust you have nothing. Sounds a bit odd running to him for support. But maybe he is her best friend and always was and the boyfriend/girlfriend idea was a mistake.
 
Erm, no offence, but WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??

I don't know her, and I don't know you, but for gods sake she's taking the ****

It isn't paranoia if someone is screwing you over
 
You wont get ridiculed I hope, BUT im sorry in my opinion theres clearly something going on with her and her ex, why else would she have a key and stay there. Ok so I dont know the situation, but it sounds to me ilke shes got the best of both worlds right now, and is clearly still seeing her ex in more than a mate way.

Dump her, you deserve better, if she wanted to be with you and wanted to prove that to you, then she would give up this other person and concentrate on you, she hasnt done that and so you need to have more respect for yourself and get yourself someone who will put you first.
 
To be honest....i'd probably ditch her mate. She doesn't seem to want to let go of this guy. If she were being reasonable, she wouldn't mind you going along to his b'day do.

I can see this ending badly if you carry on. You moved on before, so cut your losses I say. Plenty more out there without this baggage.
 
i believe you answered your own question in that post.

Totality said:
I really want to just get rid of her but my head is so messed up these days I dont know if I'm just being paranoid.
Click to expand...
 
As everyone has said, get rid, and properly move on, if she comes back to you, ignore her, she obviously isn't worth it and is just playing you.

InvG
 
I know sometimes you don't realise what's happening when it's yourself in the situation but WOAH :eek:, if one of my girlfriends stayed at her ex's house for any reason they'd be no longer with me.
 
She says it will hurt the other blokes feelings if she doesn't go. Tell her it will hurt yours if she does, and tell her to choose who to hurt.

Then you will clearly have your answer and know what to do.
 
She needs to put you and your feelings first. If she isn't doing this then you aren't the one she's thinking about imo. If she cares more about his feelings than yours then it isn't going to work.

She cheated on you with him and so she needs to prove herself trustworthy and earn that from you. By behaving like that she isn't doing it and I think you deserve more than that.
 
its been said...why are you wasting time and effort here? you said it yourself mate, open your eyes and move on! she seems like a total waste
 
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