Am I right to be peeved off?

Nodiggidy123 · 7 Dec 2015 at 17:31

My wife's nan and grandad have invited the family out for a slap up evening meal on the 27th.

3 weeks ago I asked my mother If she would mind looking after my son( her grandchild) for that evening. Her response was "we don't know what we are doing yet"

I again asked her again yesterday and again she said the same thing. I've just had a text from her saying she is now going for dinner herself round a friends.

Am I out of order for being peed off about this? I've literally given as much notice as I could and yet she wouodnt give me a answer.

I mean you either can or you can't surely? Seems since I've asked shes actively tried to find a better offer.

Hitman_Leon · 7 Dec 2015 at 17:34

What?

gumpy321 · 7 Dec 2015 at 17:34

Hitman_Leon said:
What?

Exactly what I was thinking? It's been a long day at work, but much of that doesn't make sense?

Basher · 7 Dec 2015 at 17:35

"we don't know what we are doing yet" = we don't want to.

You should have found another option at that point, perhaps.

Dr House · 7 Dec 2015 at 17:35

no you are wrong. Someone is doing you a favor and its over christmas so they don't know what they are planning yet.

Stop being cheap and pay for a babysitter

ultralaser · 7 Dec 2015 at 17:35

Hitman_Leon said:
What?

This

Dis86 · 7 Dec 2015 at 17:35

What? And she's not your childminder.

Nodiggidy123 · 7 Dec 2015 at 17:36

Hitman_Leon said:
What?

Sorry. Got mixed up and auto correct messing me about.

Sliver · 7 Dec 2015 at 17:37

Is this the surreal part of the interwebs? :confused:

Nodiggidy123 · 7 Dec 2015 at 17:38

Dr House said:
no you are wrong. Someone is doing you a favor and its over christmas so they don't know what they are planning yet.

Stop being cheap and pay for a babysitter

I can pay for a childminder just fine. thank you. I'm more annoyed at her lack of ability to simply say yes or no.

something daft already!! · 7 Dec 2015 at 17:38

What?

No, you are not "entitled" to her as your free baby sitter. It's entirely up to her what she does and up to you to find an alternative and maybe pay for it.

Nix · 7 Dec 2015 at 17:40

Nodiggidy123 said:
I can pay for a childminders just fine thank you. I'm more annoyed at her lack of ability to simply say yes or no.

Passive aggression or simply didn't want to outright tell you no.

As Basher said:

Basher said:
"we don't know what we are doing yet" = we don't want to.

You should have found another option at that point, perhaps.

Twirlywoos · 7 Dec 2015 at 17:42

You know what is missing from that story?

The bit where she said "Yes".

YOU and YOUR partner have 2 weeks to sort out a babysitter and not rest on your laurels and let someone else do the work for you.

AHarvey · 7 Dec 2015 at 17:42

unless I am missing something the original post reads just fine.

Grandparents love looking after their grandkids, ours parents are always asking to have the kids for a day or a night. It doesn't mean we are being cheap, they are family, it's what families do for each other.

The OP is annoyed that he was unable to get a direct response out of her each time he asked, not saying he is annoyed she said no.

Nodiggidy123 · 7 Dec 2015 at 17:43

Oh we have plenty of time to sort other arrangements out. Just the non committal nature irks me.

Housey · 7 Dec 2015 at 17:44

You seem to assume she should make time to accommodate you. If that isn't the case, when she was unable to give you a quick answer you should have made alternative arrangements if it was going to cause you a problem to wait for her to have a clear view if she could help. So no you are not right to be annoyed, your mum has her own life too, time you respected that a little more I'd suggest.

Hitman_Leon · 7 Dec 2015 at 17:45

Nodiggidy123 said:
I can pay for a childminder just fine. thank you. I'm more annoyed at her lack of ability to simply say yes or no.

You have no reason to be annoyed, hire a sitter, it's Christmas, your mum spent them with you, now let her do her thing.

Housey · 7 Dec 2015 at 17:47

Also as people age they like to think out things and plan well ahead, even like my mum and dad when they have been people of leisure for over 10 years. Your mum probably had lots of things on her mind, offers to do other things and she was trying to be accommodating and wondering how she might do all of them I'd suggest. She was most likely trying to see if she would help, but she may have had 3 or 4 things that she was waiting on before she could give you an answer, but you won't know (or it seems care) about those as you seemingly assume she has nothing in her diary, it should be easy for her to just say yes, you know, to make your life easier.

Haggisman · 7 Dec 2015 at 17:49

Twirlywoos said:
You know what is missing from that story?

The bit where she said "Yes".

YOU and YOUR partner have 2 weeks to sort out a babysitter and not rest on your laurels and let someone else do the work for you.

Completely this, you shouldn't have assumed it was a "yes" just because she didn't explicitly say " no"

hondo · 7 Dec 2015 at 17:50

Nodiggidy123 said:
Am I out of order for being peed off about this?

Yes, IMO you're out of order, at what age do you stop taking your parents for granted?

Not being sure what you're doing over Christmas seems pretty reasonable to me.