*** Anonymous Confessions Thread v7 ***

Okay I'm sorry to disappoint but this won't be a particularly juicy confession.
I am a perfectly healthy 30 something heterosexual male with a pretty normal sex drive in a long term loving relationship with a 30 something healthy woman who identifies as demisexual with a low, almost asexual libido.
As you guys can likely imagine this causes a lot of frustration on my part as I'm frequently left without having my basic needs met, she just can't understand how I'm feeling as it just doesn't work the same way for her. Normally I'd be telling guys in my situation to bail on the relationship if they're really unhappy as things will only get worse over time but in my case I can't.
To make matters worse my partner was raped and sexually abused by her ex, innocent or normal things you would do with your partner such as hugging them from behind cause her to have flashbacks. I try my best to understand and be supportive but I've never had that happen to me so I can't relate.
On the rare occasion we do the rude stuff, it's functional and usually rushed. She just wants to get it over and done with as quickly as possible. I can always tell that she's doing it simply to try and make me happy and we've even argued about my not wanting to do it cause it's clear she's not really into it which then makes her really upset so we've sometimes ended up both doing it to please the other person when we really don't want to.
The upsetting thing is in every other aspect the relationship is perfect and I couldn't be happier I absolutely love her to death and understand that her being this way is absolutely not her fault, though it frustrates me that she doesn't make any effort despite knowing what's happened to her in the past.
It's left me wondering about what to do next, as she can't even talk about things anymore without getting upset and after years of trying to talk to her and help her through things I'm at a loss.
I'm now wondering if I should either get my rude needs met elsewhere or if I should just give up on the naughty altogether and stop putting any pressure on her to do something she really struggles with.
What do you guys think?
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In school I was always the "nerd" the "geek" the "teachers pet". Always straight A's perfect uniform, homework done etc, which came with some perks such as the trust of the teachers. I also had this bully in the year above me who had given me **** all the way from middle school.
It was in 6th form I had a mate who introduced me to selling coke for massive profits, we would buy a sizeable amount, cut it and make a good living. People in our school would come to us every break time without fail and we had a good business going. I would sit there in the common room and pretend to be doing nerd stuff, and he would do the sales. Nobody ever knew apart from us 2 that I was the one with the stash on me. It worked out because if anything started to kick off I would bug out ASAP and nobody thought anything of it other than the nerd doing one.
It was also the first year our school introduced laptops for the 6th form students, those old dell models with the fast removable cd drive and a huge gap behind it. So I modified my cd drive to make use of that gap to store the drugs. As business got better I ended up converting the whole cd tray just for that purpose, needless to say when fully packed at the start of a day it could hold a significant amount.
One day the police got wind that there was a bit of a drug problem at the school, and arranged a "surprise" search. As we went to the classrooms for first registration, we were told our bags and lockers would be searched while we were not to leave the classrooms. At the time I was ******** it, I had the whole days stash ready and bagged up individually for selling, there was no ifs or buts, this was a significant amount of class A ready to be sold.
Being teachers pet, I fired up the laptop and jammed my key into the USB socket to kill the laptop. Showed the messed up screen to the to the teacher and asked to drop my laptop off to the IT department, mercifully they let me and on the way I ripped out the CD drive and proceeded to look for somewhere to dump it. Along the way I passed my bullies locker, I didn't think twice about it and proceeded to empty the entire stash into his bag vowing never to get involved with this again.
The rest you can imagine, the police searched his locker, found the drugs and he was led out in handcuffs.. but thats not where it ends.
Unknown to me, he had already received a suspended sentence for some other offense and he ended up getting absolutely rinsed by the courts. I think he was sentenced to a minimum of 5 years.
Fast forward 6 or so years and I am down the local pub, this guy walks upto me and asks if its me, I say yes and he introduces himself, its the bully. I got the full story about how the police planted evidence to lock him away etc etc, all the time I'm sat there trying to keep a straight face. Anyway, we shake hands and go our separate ways.
The last I heard he was homeless in Birmingham somewhere.
I still have no guilt or regrets.
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As debauchery seems to be hot this time around I thought id share my short tale.
My best friend is a female bi-sexual girl. We have fooled around before as FWBs but thats about it.
A few years ago, she met up with this 12 out of 10 hot aussie girl, she was 2 years younger than us but so naive it hurt, she completely didnt understand sarcasm / british humour. She was also the most caring and thoughtful person id ever met.
Anyway the first time she flies to the UK, they meet up and 2 weeks my bestie wants me to meet her girl. Ok, I drive on up and we get along like a house on fire. Unfortunately bestie came down with really bad flu, so we tuck her up in bed and go to get some lemsip and some comfort foods.
On the way back bestie obviously missing her GF sends a text, but, either predictive text or autocorrect went wrong and the text came through "I want a baby".
Aussie girl shows me and I jokingly said we should give her one then. Being as kind and thoughtful, yet naive she thought about it the rest of the way home and as we pull up outside, she says ok, but lets make it a surprise. We spent the next week skulking around getting it on anywhere and everywhere we could. I go home and a few weeks later aussie girl flies back home also.
Fast forward a month or so and I receive a whatsapp of a tummy picture from aussie girl... unfortunately for me, it looks like she was preggers. Bestie obviously finds out, but in a weird twist only blames the gf. She thought it was really sweet that I would try to do something so nice for her, but was repulsed that the GF would "cheat" on her.... They broke up and I heard she had an abortion. Either that or theres a mini me roaming the world.
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I'm a former GD superstar poster who was once banned.

My confession is that since I was banned from the Overclockers UK Forums, my life has descended into a flaming tailspin of drugs, alcohol, sordid sexual encounters and criminality.

Instead of posting hilarious GD troll threads on Friday and Saturday evenings, I now go out into town with other people. These individuals will often call or text me to ask me to go out with them, knowing full well that they are encouraging these terrible behaviours in me. We will often go to an establishment, imbibe alcoholic beverages, engage in 'banter' and, if we're lucky, get girls to go home with us.

It's horrible. Last weekend I woke up with an intolerable headache. The weekend before that I engaged in lewd acts even chimpanzees would be disgraced by with a young lady whose vigorous enjoyment of the affair was shocking.

I just want my past life of posting on GD back. The warm glow of a blue screen. As an act of penance, I attach to this email images for GD to enjoy this evening.

Now it's Friday again and I am already resigned to the inevitable. Wish me luck, former posting pals. I wouldn't wish this hell on even my worst forum enemy (Maccy) who is a terrible, terrible human being and I hate him very much because of it (HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID! :mad:).

[mag's note: sender attached

ferret1.gif
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Never that smart in school and always wanted to just be an average guy with average grades.... Instead I failed pretty much every subject expect one, D&T.... Because the teacher believed in me I enjoyed the subject and somehow managed an A+, even though I literally failed everything else.... Not only that my weight was that of a 6 year old girl mixed in with being 6ft, big eared big nose gimp with no dress sense. Didn't understand woman, had plenty of opportunity, but felt being a loser I didn't deserve it and she'd just laugh.... No jokes.






Leaving comp nothing really improved, while I was a happy go lucky guy, I just embarrassed myself pretty much everywhere I went, managed to fall into an ok job and continued to be weird up until my 30s. Met a girl who somehow loved me, she was absolutely beautiful and beyond loyal, we had an amazing realtionship... But she went up to a size 18 until we had an argument and I suggested she stop before its too late…. Then next thing….Shes size 10 and stayed at that since and even now i'm like DAYUMMMMMM.



Then bang, had a son and everything changed, somehow I realised who I was, Out of nowhere I seemed to gain overnight intelligence, I got mega promotion in work, up and up and up… My wife now says she struggles as “she feels i’m not the same person I was when I met her”… in a good way, I of course reassure her nothing will change…. I have never cheated on her nore will i.


Not only that the older I’ve gotten my face and body has changed… Now at 42, I seem to honestly have attention from woman ALL the time, I am not even over exaggerating…. I tell my wife everything she laughs too and even says to me “ Jeez could she have stopped staring at you anymore”…. It feels good, or is this a normal thing at 40+? Do woman get more desperate?



Crazy!
 
Drunken Secret
I've been with my current GF for many years now, but a while ago while really toxicly drunk she let slip that a guy in the pub with us had a small 'member'. I asked her how she knew, and she drunkenly told me she had sex with him early in our relationship while we were on a break. She rambled on for a while, but she was speaking to me as if i had knowledge of this encounter. It was completely news to me.
She was virtually passed out, so i took her home, no knowing what to do.
As she drunken fell asleep, I tried to quiz her about it, but she didn't make much sense, but spoke of photos.
To my shame, when she passed out, I unlocked her phone, and went back the years in her emails, and found a series of emails she had sent to herself.
Clearly containing pictures of her, with him, but the big surprise was she was clearly in a very dominant mood in those pictures. She was doing things to him, she has never even mentioned or discussed with me. We are rather vanilla.
The next day she recalled nothing. I didn't pursue it.
I still don't really know if I should say or do anything.
 
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