Another person’s misfortune…

TimTom said:
Love the thought of the woman being “horrified”! LOL
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Whilst on a holiday in Mongolia (the rough kind involving staying with nomads in yurts and traveling around in a 50yo Russian van with leaf spring suspension), we made our first stop outside a petrol station, we needed the toilet, which was a series of deep wide holes with small planks of wood for you to squat on. The piles of **** were moving with maggots, all sorts of horrors, it was bad but life goes on. Well, the rich American mother and her three daughters in our group were pretty horrified by this...it was amazing :cry:.
 
I had a really bad one last year.
I went to see a band at a local club and got in touch with my mate who owned it because I would need help to get up the stairs with my wheelchair.
I also asked about toilets because the mens upstairs was now the womens during Covid and the men had to go downstairs but he said you can use the womens because it was one in one out.
A woman went in before me and I chatted to the owner for at least 3 songs by the band, he was wondering why she was taking so long and I could no longer contain it.
As I'm talking to him pee is coming out and by the time she had come out I'd basically finished.
I went in the bog and spent 5 minutes trying to clean myself, I washed my pants and shorts in the sink and dried them under the dryer.
My wheelchair seat was soaking but I just cleaned it with water and had to mop up with toilet paper.
I then packed my pants out with loads of toilet paper and got back to my wife.
 
I went to a filming of 'Have you been paying attention' a comedy quiz show, last year, when we arrived, they provided free pre filming alcoholic drinks and nibbles, so after 3 beers we were escorted to the studios and were offered the opportunity to use the toilets then, I didn't need to, so on to the studio, once in seat, we were then told that the studio would be 'live' for the next 3 hours so nobody could leave, it was at that moment that my bladder told me that i could use the loo. Well, I had to hold it for 3 hours, it was rather uncomfortable! I survived, just!
 
The ex brother in law was a salesman and he got stuck on motorway in traffic -He emptied his flask out of window and then peed in it sitting in drivers seat- he said it was still hot when he got home.
At my age I don't drink anything an hour before I go out and plan to be near a toilet when I get there. :(
 
DXP55 said:
At my age I don't drink anything an hour before I go out and plan to be near a toilet when I get there. :(
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I'm a lot longer than that and I keep having 'emergency wee's' before I go out.
I'm on a new pill called Jardiance Empagliflozin that makes you pee for England.
On Wednesday I have a full knee replacement and I purposely won't drink for at least 12 hours but I'll wet my mouth now and then.
 
I was on my way to a job interview at a military base - few hours trip.

The base was in the middle of nowhere and so no service stations etc, but a bit of traffic - no idea where it came from, but i desperately needed to poop! Coffee and nerves no doubt.

As i approached the gate i could see the NAAFI shop where i knew there would be toilets, but i had to get past the guards first. As i didn't have any passes for the base i SHOULD have parked up, gone to the guardroom, queued and got a pass for me and the vehicle - looking at the queue and the turtle head was popping, i knew i wouldn't make it.

It was the morning rush and so i took my chances and the joined permy staff line of cars - as i approached the guard i literally waved my driving licence and some random bit of coloured paper and the guard waved me through. Very bad drills by the guard, but i made the loo in time, but ultimately didn't get the job anyway!
 
Before we had kids my wife and I were once walking back home from the pub, takes about 20mins. About 5mins (max) from our house she couldn't keep it in any longer and had to squat down by a tree. It's not really that secluded an area, basically a grass area with a drainage ditch and a few trees but there are houses overlooking it perhaps 20 yards away. I imagine you'd be a bit suspicious about a couple of people randomly faffing about there after 11pm rather than just being on the pavement, so if we were heard someone might have looked out the window.
It didn't seem like anyone noticed it at the time, but a year or two later I read something on a local facebook group that was discussing uncouth behaviour that was going on somewhere else in town and someone commented about having once seen a woman weeing up against a tree in our town. Could have been someone else another time of course, but I can't imagine it is that common an occurrence in this area. She was pretty embarrassed about it even just with me as a witness!

As for me, I was once travelling back from London after a night out, very drunk. Had a girl sat next to me. Drifted off to sleep, woke up, girl was gone and the ticket inspector was there to check if I was ok and where I was getting off. During this I realised I'd slightly wet myself in my sleep (which basically never happens). I wonder if the girl had noticed and got up to notify the ticket inspector or at least change seats, because I'm not sure there were actually any stops between her being sat next to me and disappearing. What made this worse was due to the time of night I couldn't get to my local station, had to get off at a mainline station and then get in a cab for 20mins, with damp suit trousers that I was covering up with my strategically placed bag.

Not the only train incident I've had, I suffer from IBS and once realised I was about to pass out on the toilet, so unlocked the door and collapsed out into the corridor. One of those horrid situations where you know it is going to be mega embarrassing so you delay it in the vain hope that you will feel better, but eventually have to get help.
 
FBi7 said:
One of my 'favourite' tales, and one of yours judging be the feedback at the time: (now 15 years ago)



Another occasion: went to an Indian restaurant in Wendover, Bucks. I was about 20 at the time. A mate bet me £20 I couldn't finish a vindaloo. Always up for collecting some winnings, I dutifully devoured said Vindaloo. £20 collected. Went to a nearby pub for a pint afterwards. My guts were giving me serious grief. Decided to walk the 2 miles home after that. Got 1/2 a mile up he road. Sharted. Into the woods to finish off, boxers ruined and chucked into the undergrowth.

Guess I have a bit of a pattern forming :cry:
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Thanks for sharing those stories. :cry:
 
I got to a point once on a coach trip that I was i physical pain, it was horrible. Even worse after holding it in for so long (wee) i was forced to use the coach toilet and when I got over it, I can only imagine it was stage fright or something I just couldn’t pee even though I was desperate.

Was only a young teenager at the time, and there were girls on coach I fancied so couldn’t stay in too long either as would look like I was taking a dump :)

oh the joys of being a teen.
 
bazzabear said:
At Uni I went on a bus trip to Paris with friends. There were free tickets for a boat ride on the Seine included.

As we were walking towards this boat, I needed a wee a bit, but never found a public toilet. So I got on the boat thinking, it'll only be a 15 minute trip, I'll be fine.

90 minutes later, with no sign of stopping I was sweating and in pain I needed a piddle so much. Eventually I told the person sitting next to me - I'm going to have to get up and walk around the boat otherwise I'll just wet myself right here.

So I got up, walked around, and found the toilets...

The boat was quite small, and it hadn't even occurred to me it might have toilets, but they were tucked right in a tiny corner.

I swear that did me lasting bladder damage. I can't make it through a film without having to break for a pee these days.
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Reminds me of something from many years ago when I was on a coach, I think we might have been going to watch cricket. We stopped at a service station and as we were all getting off, one lad was walking along the aisle looking in severe discomfort.

“What’s up with him?”
“He’s been dying for a p*** for ages”
“Why didn’t he use the toilet?”

There was a look of horror from the lad.
“What? There’s a toilet on here?”
 
Supremacist said:
I got to a point once on a coach trip that I was i physical pain
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For many years we have only booked coaches that have a working toilet or else i won't get on them.
The funny thing is I've never actually had to use one on a coach but if there wasn't one my brain would explode.
 
SexyGreyFox said:
I'm a lot longer than that and I keep having 'emergency wee's' before I go out.
I'm on a new pill called Jardiance Empagliflozin that makes you pee for England.
On Wednesday I have a full knee replacement and I purposely won't drink for at least 12 hours but I'll wet my mouth now and then.
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If you sip water...and I mean an only just mouth wet amount and give it time to absorb, 10 mins, then you can take water just fine without the need to pee frequently. If you take mouthfuls of water it can't absorb in time and goes out of the body quicker, making you pee more.
 
When I was in my early 20s, 25+ years ago now, after some "raving" I did some damage to my bladder. When on said thing, sometimes the connection to your bladder muscle, goes haywire due to the stuff. I was busting to go but couldn't ever actually go. I ended up doing damage to the bladder and it took 5 or 6 months of body healing to recover. That was enough raving for me after that.
 
I know the posts so far have been toilet related, but I do have this story relating to someone else's misfortune. I wrote this as a submission to a radio station but it did happen this way.



Years ago we took our daughter to the cinema. One of those purpose built jobs that has shops, restaurants of varying quality, cinema and a multi-story car park. The car park requires you to take a ticket. I took the parking ticket from the machine and paid absolutely no attention to what I subsequently did with said parking ticket.

So, we go to the cinema, I forget what we watched so probably not that great, and whilst queuing for overpriced snacks I looked down and saw a ticket on the floor. “Oh, what a silly sausage. Someone has dropped their ticket on the floor” I thought as I gave it a little kick with my shoe and dismissed it.

As the credits rolled and we left the cinema, I vaguely noticed a couple with their children having what can only be described as a “Public spat”. The father/husband was getting an almighty ear-bashing but I didn’t really pay any attention.

By this point, walking to the car, I began to consider the location of the parking ticket in order to escape the car park. Mild panic sets in as I can’t find it in my pockets. I open my wallet and in amongst the receipts for meals of varying quality, the ticket isn’t there.

Immediately, I realise the “Silly sausage” was me and it was my ticket on the floor of the cinema’s entrance. I rush us all back to the cinema, find a young lad who really didn’t need the grief at such a late hour and grill him over any handed in parking tickets. Low and behold, a ticket is produced having been found on the floor. “That’s our ticket” I cried and felt this overwhelming feeling of joy that we would finally escape and I wouldn’t feel quite so foolish.

However, all was not well. “It’s not our ticket” exclaimed my partner “Don’t be silly” I said, “Of course it’s ours, I saw it on the floor and ours is missing”. My partner studied the ticket again and said “The time isn’t right, we got her after 4pm”. By this time I had switched off from everything other than getting us out of the car park and no manner of discussion was going to dissuade me of my task.

We got back to the car, ticket in hand and as we got in I spied something on the floor of the drivers’ foot well. A small white piece of card with time, date and welcome to ABC car parks. All the clues instantly fell into place. The ticket I had taken from the lad in the cinema wasn’t our ticket. My partner was right, it wasn’t our ticket. Our ticket had been in the car all along. The ticket we had was the couple’s ticket and the father/husband, who I noticed was still in the car park arguing into a speakerphone by the gates whilst his wife looked on in disgust.

I didn’t say anything. I used the couples’ ticket to escape. Stared blankly at the couple as the gate lifted and we sped off into the night. I don’t know how long it took that family to get out of the car park.
 
EddScott said:
We got back to the car, ticket in hand and as we got in I spied something on the floor of the drivers’ foot well. A small white piece of card with time, date and welcome to ABC car parks. All the clues instantly fell into place. The ticket I had taken from the lad in the cinema wasn’t our ticket. My partner was right, it wasn’t our ticket. Our ticket had been in the car all along. The ticket we had was the couple’s ticket and the father/husband, who I noticed was still in the car park arguing into a speakerphone by the gates whilst his wife looked on in disgust.

I didn’t say anything. I used the couples’ ticket to escape. Stared blankly at the couple as the gate lifted and we sped off into the night. I don’t know how long it took that family to get out of the car park.
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So you ended up with 2 tickets in your hand and the family having the spat were still there? Why didn't you take a ticket to them?

Not having a go, but from what you have posted, this seems easy and the humane thing to do? Or do you just like to watch the World burn? :D
 
I remember walking the dog and having the "belly rumble of doom".

Luckily the place I was at had nobody about for once and I had to drop trousers and airbrush the bushes.
 
Ayahuasca said:
Why a tradie (or pretty much anyone) would drive to his mums for a slash I don't know, use a bush on the roadside?
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I’d have to agree with that sentiment. I’m not disbelieving the OP, but I suspect the story was told more for comic effect than a statement of genuine fact. Of course, I realise that medical reasons or advanced age might lead to some loss of control, and that’s not amusing, but outside of those categories, how on earth would a healthy young bloke past the age of about 6 suffer like that? We’ve all had the near-misses, but it would take a monumental set of contrived circumstances for it to lead to anything worse, I imagine.
 
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