Another Relationship Problem Thread

cleanbluesky · 29 Aug 2006 at 11:15

malc30 said:
CBS
Am going to ignore your pickiness as it bores me stupid. What has me got to do with this thread ?

As you wish, but remember that you may never be totally free of people who wish to ask you about your attitudes...

4T5 · 29 Aug 2006 at 11:16

You are not asking me about anything though are you. You are just making little comments.
Ask me anything and i will tell you but ask straight up not in a round about way.

cleanbluesky · 29 Aug 2006 at 11:20

malc30 said:
You are not asking me about anything though are you. You are just making little comments.
Ask me anything and i will tell you but ask straight up not in a round about way.

"...if you think 27 is 'old' then what must you think of yourself?"

Morba · 29 Aug 2006 at 11:24

malc30 said:
Bare in mind that when you are 25 she will be 32 and just about past it.
get yourself a new women that is a women and doesn't act like a man.

Guys in there early 20's should really be riding girls of there own age, after all it's about the only time you can enjoy young women so make the most of it. Do not waste your time on Old women.

rofl, thats amazing.

I guess i should leave my wife (and mother of my child) as she is 33 and im mid 20's.
I guess that older women should be left alone as they are a waste of time.

guys in their 20s should be riding girls their own age? rubbish! your in a position (if single) to sample all ages and imo you should do just that (as should women to men).

4T5 · 29 Aug 2006 at 11:29

cleanbluesky said:
"...if you think 27 is 'old' then what must you think of yourself?"

In what context ?
Age, i think i am doing great for my age. i am slim fit and still riding as much as i ever have.

Morba.
Chill out dude it's just my opinion not law.

I just think whilst young you should enjoy the young women as when you get 30-40 they won't be interested. Of course if a milf wants riding then climb aboard but don't go buying houses and getting all serious.

Matt-Page · 29 Aug 2006 at 11:30

Bar said:
Matt can I ask you one question?

On the assumption that I can ask one I will ask several

Has she reduced your self confidence?
Do you back down to avoid her getting upset?
Do you show how much her threats and tears affect you?

Yes to all of those.

Gotta love the way that you made it seem as if all the problems had arisen from her calling you tubby.

Not really the full reason, but it did knock me. The fact that she has put on and taken weight off over the 4 years never bothered me really, and i certainly never menchioned it and never would.

She has recently started asking me to move out to my parents house, because she doesn't wantme around the house, but i dont want to. It's my house too, so then she just cries and cries making a racket!

She claims there is no room at her mums so it would suit both of us.

I defo don't think the roles have changed, they are the same as they have always been. She did have a difficult childhood, which i wont go into. She was upset about this at the start of the relationship which i was hoping i could comfort her, and for years everything was good, and all of her friends would say how she was much happier with herself and life. Maybe i was kidding myself.

I don't think the age gap is a problem, personally and neither does she.

I am having doubts about the whole 'split up'. I don't know if it is the right thing to do. I feel lost

4T5 · 29 Aug 2006 at 11:32

Dude i do feel for you mate and don't mean to come across harsh.
I just throw out my thoughts that's all.
Good Luck with whatever you do.

cleanbluesky · 29 Aug 2006 at 11:34

malc30 said:
I just think whilst young you should enjoy the young women as when you get 30-40 they won't be interested.

I think that whilst young you should spend your time 'enjoying' decent and sincere women, but then again I would say that of any age

leaskovski · 29 Aug 2006 at 11:43

Er what does the contract say that you had written up between you when you both got the house? As said above, get someone with the knowlegde to look at it. Its hard to see what the outcome could be due to what this contract could contain.

Sorry for the pain, my thoughts... get shot of her.

Matt-Page · 29 Aug 2006 at 11:44

I didn't choose my g/f because she was older, i chose her because we liked eachother and had similar interests.

She has now begun to tell all her friends and relatives so her 'sympathy' which she so greatly needs is arriving to comfort her. Poor her. Especially as it is her that has lost interest in me. Really ***** me off.

I don't like being in this state of mind. I am angry, and upset and worried what i will do. I think i am going to have words with my boss today to inform him as i am worried it could affect my work and relationship with colleagues.

Matt-Page · 29 Aug 2006 at 11:45

leaskovski said:
Er what does the contract say that you had written up between you when you both got the house? As said above, get someone with the knowlegde to look at it. Its hard to see what the outcome could be due to what this contract could contain.

Sorry for the pain, my thoughts... get shot of her.

I can't remember, exactly, but i am going to try to find it today.

Bar · 29 Aug 2006 at 12:51

What you might want to try is reasserting yourself as a man.

I think very much along the lines of Malc and believe in a traditional model.

You are meant to be strong and masculine. She is meant to be strong and feminine.

Stand up to her and tell her what you will and will not accept. If she threatens to walk out - say to her "you know where the door is". If she threatens to top herself point out its an easy way for you to get the house.

Give in when you don't need to win - makes winning the big arguments easier.

Don't give in all the time. She will respect you for it more in the morning.

Morba · 29 Aug 2006 at 13:01

malc30 said:
Morba.
Chill out dude it's just my opinion not law.
I just think whilst young you should enjoy the young women as when you get 30-40 they won't be interested. Of course if a milf wants riding then climb aboard but don't go buying houses and getting all serious.

i never said it was law, just commenting on how you think that i should ditch the wife because she is not worthy of someone my age.
i get plenty of interest from women now, i do not see that stopping when i get to 30.
If women suddenly stopped being interested in you at this age then you might want to take a look at what else changed, rather than just a number ;]

you get an image of people from their posts online, the image you create is 'interesting' :]

4T5 · 29 Aug 2006 at 13:33

Morba said:
i never said it was law, just commenting on how you think that i should ditch the wife because she is not worthy of someone my age.
i get plenty of interest from women now, i do not see that stopping when i get to 30.
If women suddenly stopped being interested in you at this age then you might want to take a look at what else changed, rather than just a number ;]

you get an image of people from their posts online, the image you create is 'interesting' :]

You make it up as you go along don't you

I NEVER said women lost interest in me AT ALL. Dude i am 41 and still pull plenty.
I also Never said anything about your Wife.

Also do you really think i am bothered about how i seem to someone such as yourself.
Thinking about it is laughable

As are your comments.

My only point was that young lads should be enjoying young women while they can.

naefeart · 29 Aug 2006 at 13:58

Matt, I know it maybe doesn't seem so, but your main priority right now needs to be your heath, mental and to a slightly lesser extent your physical.

You must not let her and this situation drag you down to the point of doing something foolish. I think you need get away from her and the house, at least just to recharge and sort your head out.

Go see your family, perhaps talk to them about it if you haven't already, but mainly try to surround yourself with people who *really* care about you.

From what you say about your partner, I don't really see any longterm reconciliation tbh. The suicide threats are the last straw, she is a complete fruit loop. I also think the comments about your weight are just an excuse. Makes me think she is trying to hurt you and intentionally force you away, to help her feel justified in how she is treating you.

End of the day if you leave, you've lost a measly grand, lots of blood sweat and tears, but you've gained valuable experience and most of all, kept your sanity.

malc30 - always enjoyed reading your 'take' on life

N

cleanbluesky · 29 Aug 2006 at 14:19

Bar said:
If she threatens to top herself point out its an easy way for you to get the house.

This isn't being a man, this is being a ****.

cleanbluesky · 29 Aug 2006 at 14:24

malc30 said:
My only point was that young lads should be enjoying young women while they can.

More like you WISH you were enjoying young women, what others think is best for them may not be the same thing so dont generalise.

Matt-Page · 29 Aug 2006 at 14:52

naefeart said:
Matt, I know it maybe doesn't seem so, but your main priority right now needs to be your heath, mental and to a slightly lesser extent your physical.

You must not let her and this situation drag you down to the point of doing something foolish. I think you need get away from her and the house, at least just to recharge and sort your head out.

Go see your family, perhaps talk to them about it if you haven't already, but mainly try to surround yourself with people who *really* care about you.

From what you say about your partner, I don't really see any longterm reconciliation tbh. The suicide threats are the last straw, she is a complete fruit loop. I also think the comments about your weight are just an excuse. Makes me think she is trying to hurt you and intentionally force you away, to help her feel justified in how she is treating you.

End of the day if you leave, you've lost a measly grand, lots of blood sweat and tears, but you've gained valuable experience and most of all, kept your sanity.

malc30 - always enjoyed reading your 'take' on life

N

Thanks for the advice, i have been half thinking of giong off on a bit of a holiday. Maybe on my own as going away with mymates would just temporarily block out the truee feelings with good times and drink.

When she said she wanted another chance, i think she just wants someone to be there, with her, not necessarily me. Which hurts. I am going into myself too much and don't like it.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. Any more are welcome.

4T5 · 29 Aug 2006 at 15:17

cleanbluesky said:
More like you WISH you were enjoying young women, what others think is best for them may not be the same thing so dont generalise.

Wrong again MrCBS but then you are making a habit out of being wrong about me aren't you

Perhaps it's you that assumes to much.
When i was 39 i had a relationship with a 23 year old. She looked great all power dressed, worked in a bank and was well up for it.
I have no problems pulling younger women and am fortunate enouth to be able to choose who i mate with rather than get what i am given.
Great in theory but not in practise, she drove me nuts and riding her was not enouth compensation for putting up with her dramas. I sacked her after 6 weeks and went back to 30somethiings.
This is why i made the earlier point as it's through experience i talk Not what i sit and think in my bedroom.
As you get older your requirements change and older women are much more suited to your needs.
This is why i said enjoy the women why you are young because as you get older you won't want to.

My comments are brought about through Life experience not a teenage imagination.

Adam · 29 Aug 2006 at 15:24

malc30 said:
You make it up as you go along don't you
I NEVER said women lost interest in me AT ALL. Dude i am 41 and still pull plenty.
I also Never said anything about your Wife.

Also do you really think i am bothered about how i seem to someone such as yourself.
Thinking about it is laughable As are your comments.

My only point was that young lads should be enjoying young women while they can.

Your 41 have the title of "Most experienced hardcore gamer on these boards" and pull women? Are we telling porkies

Don't agree with any of your comments personally. Age is irrelavent in most scenarios apart unless the girl is really young. Not all men just want to sleep around like you suggest anyway. The comment about being 32 and past it... oh do me a favour thats ridiculous.