Anxiety/worrying

itchy said:
My thing with the barbers is sitting there looking at yourself for 20+minutes with nothing to say or do. Its like a form of incarceration, or helplessness.

I think thats what it is, the sensation of being unable to help yourself from the current situation, which brings on fear and anxiety.

I have overcome most of my anxiety's, but still have a few in my closet, like hand writing, social occasions, hair cuts etc.

But I have culled a good few to make me feel confident enough to say "F`em" to everything that I think will make me anxious. ;)
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Yeah maybe its just the being sat there, I get it with social occasions to some extent too if theres too many people I don't know but not normally with people I know.
 
Slam62 said:
Blimey I've been having this the last week or so, with me it's a combination of things.

Number one, I do have a mental health condition, but with medication and normal levels of pressure I am fine, but recently a few things have cropped up and then it doesn't take much to trigger the extreme anxiety.

I seem to have a capacity to withstand concerns until things become too much, it kind of escalates quickly with me, from appearing normal to go over the edge.
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That sounds very similar to me actually.

I'm not one to just give up generally, I'm quite determined and resilient to things. But when something gets too much, I can unravel a little - in a mental sense I mean.

Recently, I've been very angry, on edge, anxious, slightly offish, a bit withdrawn, not much energy or motivation. I don't tend to show these emotions outright, but they build up inside me.

I really wish I could "neutralise" these, as others seem so chilled, and just easy going. For me though I'm almost continually on edge ready to get worked up.

It's got worse the last 6-8 weeks.
 
itchy said:
I still hate with a passion getting my hair cut.

I been going to the same guy for over 10 years but I still get very anxious when I have to go.
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This is one thing I still can't do after all these years. I have to get my wife to shave it with my own clippers.

I get in that damn seat and my chest feels like it's constricting instantly! Cue me moving about like a wierdo!
 
For me it's very much a seasonal thing. It always tends to kick off for me in early November/December when I have a lot on with work, music and family events. The worst point for me was when the anxiety was so great, I couldn't get myself to go to my friends wedding. I don't even know why, I knew the majority of the people that were going when I went on the stag night. I felt so guilty and bad about it and it took a lot of grovelling for them to forgive me.

But since I noticed that it's an annual thing for me, I'm learning how to combat it a bit more effectively, which is basically me being slightly more selfish in life. I tend to treat myself a bit more and try to free up my weekends from work. Also my diet was poor and I did no excercise which I also tackled. I ended buying a pair of dumbbells which live next to my desk at arms reach which I use when I'm downloading something or waiting for something to load.
 
FoxEye said:
OTOH, I can happily go outside and go shopping, but I'll be damned if I could ever find my way into any kind of adult relationship. Or any relationship.

My anxiety is people. I don't understand them. I can't talk to them. I'm always ****ing people off and getting bad reactions from them. I'm 36 and I can't look anyone in the eye.

My extreme people anxiety means most people think I'm hostile, or disinterested, or just plain boring. I can't keep a conversation going for more than 30 seconds. Awkward silence every time.

But I can leave the house, go shopping, take the nephew to a football game. No problem. Just as long as I don't have to talk to a stranger. If anyone engages me in conversation I'm just a total wreck.

/le sigh
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I can empathise with this a lot. My last Mrs just left me because "you're ******* boring" because I can't chew her ear off every day about inane stuff. I'm just terrible at talking to people.
 
FoxEye said:
Weird how people find different things intimidating.

I mean, you seem to have really bad anxiety yet you manged (obviously) to find a girl and father a son.

OTOH, I can happily go outside and go shopping, but I'll be damned if I could ever find my way into any kind of adult relationship. Or any relationship.

My anxiety is people. I don't understand them. I can't talk to them. I'm always ****ing people off and getting bad reactions from them. I'm 36 and I can't look anyone in the eye.

My extreme people anxiety means most people think I'm hostile, or disinterested, or just plain boring. I can't keep a conversation going for more than 30 seconds. Awkward silence every time.

But I can leave the house, go shopping, take the nephew to a football game. No problem. Just as long as I don't have to talk to a stranger. If anyone engages me in conversation I'm just a total wreck.

/le sigh
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That's social anxiety and seems to be getting ever more common in a world where physical social interaction is becoming less and less required.

The only way I've seen people successfully overcome it is to repeatedly expose themselves to environments and situations they fear and you'll eventually get to a point where you can at least appear normal, you need to learn how to be social again and the only way to do that is to put yourself in real scenarios.
 
I have Generalized anxiety disorder and its a complete pain in the backside. Fortunately I can do what I want but I worry so much it causes me stress and affects others at times. I'm very lucky to have an understanding employer in a stressful industry.

Feeling like I can't relax 24/7 and losing interest in what I liked previously is depressing. This all got worse after a bad stint of extreme anxiety and medication.

I'm happy I'm functioning now but I need to work on letting go of the worry which makes no difference to anything.
 
Rilot said:
I've suffered from crippling anxiety my entire adult life. It got to the point where it wrecked my career and has put a serious strain on my personal relationships.
I'm at the point where even going to the corner shop for milk will take me 2 hours to buck up the courage to leave the house and then once I'm out, I will do it as fast as possible. More than 2 people in a queue in front of me at the shop? I will leave and go home.
I can't go out and play with my son because I get so scared when I'm away from surroundings that I'm comfortable with that I end up just standing there, dizzy as hell.
I've been in and out of therapy my entire life but I've had all my sessions now and all the NHS want to do is pump me with drugs which make me feel worse.
On the plus side, I am managing to hold down a job at the moment and can get my son to nursery in the mornings (although any disruption or traffic has me going straight back home again).
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Can totally empathise with this. Social anxiety has always been an issue for me since leaving school. It has ruled my adult life and led me to go to extreme lengths to avoid facing social situations. I finally had a full blown breakdown in March this year. I have worked from home for the last 8 years, and havent needed to be on site for work in the last 2 at all. Couple this with the fact that there is very little that cant be achieved over the internet these days, I have more or less managed to avoid any social contact beyond family for a huge portion of my life. The bit that bites the most, is that it all feels pretty pathetic. I'm 6'2, and 38, so a 'grown' man allegedly, and I can't buy a pint of milk or make a phone call without analysing every possible outcome and invariably just finding some ludicrous way of avoiding it.
Routine is of massive importance, and anything that unexpectedly upsets the flow of said routine is a disaster. Likewise, the simplest little hiccup in an otherwise 'normal' day, puts a nail in the whole day.

My wife is one tough cookie and has been amazing in supporting me so I do consider myself very lucky considering what she has lumbered herself with. I have been taking sertraline for the last 6 months and am going through CBT sessions with the local mental team every few weeks.
 
I'm generally a laid back and care free person, but I do find myself getting anxiety in hot environments. I worked in an office that had temps around 28 deg and I just couldn't think straight. I suffer from hyperhidrosis and find temperatures like that stifling. I could be at a gig watching my favourite act ever and I'm just wishing I was somewhere else. Same goes for certain cinemas, clubs, pubs etc.
 
This isn't advice and I wouldnt suggest starting smoking but from my own experience nicotine really helps. I pop a portion of snus in or have a vape and puts me more in a "flow state" for dealing with people. You know move from worrying to doing. I would guess because it's an acetylcholinesterase inhibitor.
 
dirtybeatfreak said:
Buy the book Mindfulness: Finding peace in a frantic world.

Read it and enjoy :)
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Copy arrived yesterday so only read the first chapter but heard good things about the book elsewhere too
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Getting to the gym and gaining some 'meat' will help a lot. Most of the 'nervous' types I know are weakl guys who don't get women and spend a lot of time indoors.
 
FurryLemon said:
Getting to the gym and gaining some 'meat' will help a lot. Most of the 'nervous' types I know are weakl guys who don't get women and spend a lot of time indoors.
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Yeah, and if you actually read the thread you'll see why. Telling people to go to the gym when they lack confidence, feel socially anxious and are unable to properly function in such an environment is rather pointless.
 
TheVoice said:
Yeah, and if you actually read the thread you'll see why. Telling people to go to the gym when they lack confidence, feel socially anxious and are unable to properly function in such an environment is rather pointless.
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I agree. Unless you have someone to go with to the gym, going there is very intimidating, i've still never been. I excersised at home instead, went running and bought a mountain bike and drive myself to the bike tracks alone. I hardly look any different, but I feel so much better.
 
I have had/do have anxiety issues on and off but I've coped by the more anxious I feel the more I force myself out there. My boss knows what I'm like but the rest of my work colleagues all think I'm an incredibly confident, social and outgoing guy when reality is inwould happily avoid all three activities.

I just find putting yourself out there, irrespective of the inevitable cringe you feel on the inside helps immeasurably in the long run.
 
Currently trying to break the fear and anxiety cycle I have when it comes to learning to drive. No idea why but it really stresses me out as everyone seems to know exactly where to go and what lane to be in etc seemingly without thinking whilst being a typical anxiety sufferer, I overthink EVERYTHING.

At the tender age of 32 you'd have thought I'd have cracked it by now but sadly not. I drove to a small village and back to where I live (about 15 miles) and I was absolutely terrified, but felt more confident afterwards.
 
I remind my self, try your best, you cant please everyone all the time as long as the majority of people are happy..

worrying about losing your job, losing your home is pointless, it wont help you with life, so whats the point, i drum it into my head and ultimately if you do the same, you'll feel more content..

Get into the psychology of it, understand it and that should help you deal with it op..
 
I suffer big time from problems like this.

It is a real issue for me, considering I work in a serious high pressure environment surrounded by massive egos and success driven people.

It makes my head spin, and sometimes I wonder if I should not sell everything I own, and just go and live on an island somewhere on my own.

My biggest issue is that my confidence and stress varies hour to hour, its like a continual roller coaster every single day, and I must admit, sometimes I get so tired of living and feeling like this, that I do seriously and rationally think it might be better to just kill myself and get it over with. No point in being around if life is not fun, or you feel like you are not living life to the fullest.
 
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