application form help needed.

[andy@moFo]

ok, the application is for an estate agency in newcastle and ive struck the (for me) dreaded question..

"please use this space to explain why you feel you would be suitable for this position identifying relevant skills/abilties"

so far i have..


"I consider myself to be a hard working, motivated, enthusiastic and determined individual who strives for success within every task I partake. I have strong leadership and communication skills but also embrace being a member of a team. I am looking for a career where I can work with intellectual, ambitious and talented people."

im 19 years of age and have been loyal to my job in retail for over two means meaning i havnt had the need to apply for anything else..

can anyone tell me if that caption would fall on deaf ears or would (as an employer) you read it and take notice and read the rest of the application with interest??

please feel free to amend, greatly appreciated.

 

[Becca]

What you say seems to be ok, but i think you could improve it by backing up what you have said, eg, when you you have strong leadership skills, say something that proves it like 'which i developed as a result of being team leader in xxx' that sorta thing always seems to go down well. also, personally i wouldnt use the word 'intellectual' but thats probably just me!

 

[andy@moFo]

just inked it onto the application form.. thanks for all the replys