she found somone better than him
Everyone's a winner!
Approaching the "weight" issue
- Thread starter The_One
- Start date
Everyone's a winner!
Need some advice on approaching a situation.
Been with my gf 6 months now and were really close, she isnt a size 10 supermodel she's a 16 - 18
Been on holiday with her last week and became concerned with what she was eating - basically chips with everything and loads of mayo
Ive told her before about the mayo and how unhealthy it is but she just says she likes it etc.
She works in a care home doing shifts and a lot of the time finishes work at 8pm so when she gets home she just pigs out of has "fast food"
I love her to bits but really dont know how to approach her and basically say id like her to eat more healthy and lose a bit of weight.
I would say that she probably doesn't look that much different to how she did 6 months ago and by going on holiday with her, it's brought it to your attention all the slim girls in bikinis etc and how things could be and it's made you think that it's not quite what you want.
I know if I started seeing a girl and after 6 months she started telling me to change things that were obvious when I met her, I probably wouldn't like it. If I was seeing her for a couple of years and I'd put on 4 stone, then that's something completely different
the facts are:
Last edited:
Attraction is a very important part of a relationship. I have in the past had a girlfriend who let herself go considerably when she got comfortable. I tried everything being all nice etc, subtle hints and what not, to flat out asking her to come to the gym with me, come train MMA with me, cycle etc etc, nothing worked. It just wasn't her priority. I explained honestly how I felt and she said she would try, and I think she genuinely wanted to try, but because she was doing it for not herself, but primarily for me, it didn't work and I had to break up with her soon after. It wasn't fair on me nor was it on her with me having to not be hounest about why i was seeing other girls.
She was hurt, I felt awful, she started going to the gym for her and taking it seriously from what I can tell, I met someone else, by the time she was an acceptable weight to me I had moved on and I think she realised that so despite her becoming more than acceptably fit it was too late. She's with someone else now which makes me feel much better and I think she's happy so it all worked out eventually.
Why am I telling you this? Because I looked into it and my experience is far from unique. Someone has to want to lose weight and live a healthy lifestyle themselves, not just doing it for other people, so if she's gotten so comfy and just thinks your being a bit critical, she's not going to take it seriously and your doomed to having a fat comfy girlfriend.
She was hurt, I felt awful, she started going to the gym for her and taking it seriously from what I can tell, I met someone else, by the time she was an acceptable weight to me I had moved on and I think she realised that so despite her becoming more than acceptably fit it was too late. She's with someone else now which makes me feel much better and I think she's happy so it all worked out eventually.
Why am I telling you this? Because I looked into it and my experience is far from unique. Someone has to want to lose weight and live a healthy lifestyle themselves, not just doing it for other people, so if she's gotten so comfy and just thinks your being a bit critical, she's not going to take it seriously and your doomed to having a fat comfy girlfriend.
I don't do fat birds, the Mrs knows this. She knows I would consider leaving her if she turned into a proper efforlump. Harsh, but big girls just do not do it for me, at all!
Mrs got comfy and went to 12st and decided to go to them fat fighter things. 100's of proper obese fattys there and my Mrs was destroying them on the weekly weigh-in every week.
Got down to 9.8st in 2months. Biggest thing she cut out from her diet was mayo.
The irony of all this is that I am the fat ******* lately
Same as you, +1
I don't do fat birds, the Mrs knows this. She knows I would consider leaving her if she turned into a proper efforlump. Harsh, but big girls just do not do it for me, at all!
Mrs got comfy and went to 12st and decided to go to them fat fighter things. 100's of proper obese fattys there and my Mrs was destroying them on the weekly weigh-in every week.
Got down to 9.8st in 2months. Biggest thing she cut out from her diet was mayo.
The irony of all this is that I am the fat ******* lately
A bit crudely put but this basically.
why do so many of you ***** get with fat birds and expect them to be what they never were when you met them?
I'd laugh if one of them scared you for life to show you what it's like being such a shallow *******
you can guarantee some of you don't even mind being with a fat bird but care more about what others think when they see you with them or what your shallow friends think
I'd laugh if one of them scared you for life to show you what it's like being such a shallow *******
you can guarantee some of you don't even mind being with a fat bird but care more about what others think when they see you with them or what your shallow friends think
Last edited:
She'd probably think she was having a heart attack if they're decent ones! but then again I don't think drugging her up is the best way forward
There's a girl on a dating app I use. Well, I see her around sometimes as well. She seems nice but is covered in tattoos, Her arms have tattoo all the way up and as far as I can see, her shoulders and back are the same. One of her photos is at either a wedding or a posh Christmas do or something. She is wearing a dress and you can see all the other tables/people in the background. That photo made me think If it was me sat there with her, would I be bothered that probably half the people in the room had judged her and the answer was yes. She probably wouldn't want me anyway.
Last edited:
They don't live together
i dont think i could ever go for a big girl (by big i mean over 12) my gf is 6-8 (10 on legs, i hate skinny legs) and 5'9" (but has boob 
) but she still moans about her weight of 9st and i wouldnt want 14 for sure, i know this, but it is shallow undoubtedly,
its fair enough if shes 10 when you get with her and then balloons, but if she is 16 and then you change your mind (or wake up) its a bit over line to say loose weight..thats basically what it comes down too
that said if you have generally changed your mind or just dont like her figure that cant be helped.
id say something but i doubt she will change, you have to want to change for yourself. it never works if you dont genuinely want to
i see this ending badly, and her being able to take the moral high ground if you have changed your.
you are in the best place to know how she will react, some people would tell you to F off, some will get emotional and a select few will change. if anything she will probably end up bigger than now as ages increases as obviously this is what usyally happens, especially with being 'comfortable'
) but she still moans about her weight of 9st and i wouldnt want 14 for sure, i know this, but it is shallow undoubtedly, its fair enough if shes 10 when you get with her and then balloons, but if she is 16 and then you change your mind (or wake up) its a bit over line to say loose weight..thats basically what it comes down too
that said if you have generally changed your mind or just dont like her figure that cant be helped.
id say something but i doubt she will change, you have to want to change for yourself. it never works if you dont genuinely want to
i see this ending badly, and her being able to take the moral high ground if you have changed your.
you are in the best place to know how she will react, some people would tell you to F off, some will get emotional and a select few will change. if anything she will probably end up bigger than now as ages increases as obviously this is what usyally happens, especially with being 'comfortable'
Thats not the problem. The problem is, getting with some one who becomes fat, not gettting with a person who is fat from the start.
Would you date someone who became over weight and be diagnose with type 2 diabetes because of their unhealthy lifestyle?
If some doesn't have the self respect to look after themselves then why date or stay with them, how would that reflect if you decide to have kids. Another generation of over weight children.
Last edited:
I'm not talking about the people who get with a woman who later puts on weight but getting with someone and then expecting them to change how they were when you accepted them into your life imo is wrong and shallow unless there is genuinely serious health risk at the time which losing weight would alleviate
Soldato
- Joined
- 24 Apr 2007
- Posts
- 7,567
- Location
- Southport
Call it whatever you like, we have been going out and eating a lot. Gaining weight when getting into a relationship is hardly an unknown thing, it's very common.
We're both working to lose it though, it's fine
Well judging by Facebook she wears the right sort of clothes that make 'burning calories' pretty fun, so smash on