Are all long distance relationships doomed to die?

Totality said:
Since she now lives a few miles from her ex and 4 weeks ago she cheated on me with him (then came back saying how it was all a mistake and she realises that now) I suppose trust really is a big thing. Now everytime her mobile is off or she doesnt call in the evening it feels like shes up to something. In the old days this never used to affect me as I was always busy and trusted her so didnt even think of it. The fact she still hangs out with her ex and he still says he loves her doesnt help!
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Wouldn't bother with her, mate. :(

I had a long distance relationship for a year when my girlfriend went to uni - slept up there probably 4 times during the whole year and saw her @ weekends in Worthing. I would phone almost every evening just to chat about whatever happened that day.

Now she's in Worthing again, and it's a short distance relationship again! :D

Been together 5 years :) Some people think that's sad, but I'm happy, so tbqh I don't know what they're talking about :rolleyes:
 
Totality said:
Glad to hear its working for people. Well done to the ones that are getting married.

To be fair actually the first 6 months were fine and I used to look forward to doing stuff at the weekends and was kept busy during the week so wasnt an issue.

Since she now lives a few miles from her ex and 4 weeks ago she cheated on me with him (then came back saying how it was all a mistake and she realises that now) I suppose trust really is a big thing. Now everytime her mobile is off or she doesnt call in the evening it feels like shes up to something. In the old days this never used to affect me as I was always busy and trusted her so didnt even think of it. The fact she still hangs out with her ex and he still says he loves her doesnt help!

So yeah, thinking about it I've answered my own question really. In the old days when there was trust the distance wasnt an issue at all and seeing each other at the weekends worked out well. But now I dont trust her (trying really hard to forgive and forget but its hard). So little things that never even mattered last time are big issues. Spend the whole week in limbo expecting her to cheat again and the weekends couldnt come sooner as theyre reassurance that everything is OK I suppose.

So I have to say I agree. If theres trust it can work but as soon as there isnt any trust it becomes the hardest thing since stale bread!! Every day feels like a year until the weekend arrives. I cant concentrate at work and cant sleep at night! Was hoping someone would have been in the same situation I suppose and say it all works out fairy tale in the end lol :D
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Dude seriously if what your saying is true ie her cheating on you then dump her sharpish..i mean i can understand where your coming from ie calling her and her phones off..of course your going to get highly suspicious.

Seriously she aint worth the hassle or time, if there isnt any trust or the trust has been broken then its near impossible to get it back imho. Trust is extremely hard to attain once its been broken.

Seriously do yourself and your life a favour, get rid...harsh it is but seems like your being a bit of a mug in this to take her back after shes admitted cheating on you in the past.

Hope it all works out for you though:).
 
My girlfriend is in Stoke and I'm in Sheffield, about an hours drive. See her every day (pretty much without fail for the last 5 months), the drive sometimes get's a bit annoying but I love her and I basically see it as the same as a commute to work, it pretty much is ..
Prefer if she lived 5 minutes away sometimes, although then I wouldn't have an excuse to sleep at hers every night like I do now : ).
 
Works for me at the moment although its far from ideal. My girlfriend lives in Midlands, 200 miles from me - and she went home at the beginning of last month. She's back again in September.

MSN and mobile phones ***.
 
Its only worth it if its short term and you are going to be together again in the very near future. Otherwise cut your losses. Too much hassle and heartache for my liking.
 
If she's cheated on you then dump her, it'll save you a lot of hassle in the long run, you need trust and commitment to make a long distance work and she obviously doesn't have it.

However they do work if you work hard enough, i'm now married to my previously long distance lady :D
 
If you expect it to be like a short distance relationship, yes.

A long distance relationship is a different proposition and will never be the same as a short distance one, if you can accept that, then it's fine.
 
Cheers all. Just typing it makes me feel better. Saves annoying my mates! Off to the pub after work and cant wait. You never realise how much you need your friends until things like this happen. So glad I didnt blow them off and spend every single weekend up with her otherwise it would be seriously lonely at the moment!

If thats one thing I've learnt out of it all thats it. Never blow off your mates to be with your GF all the time. You dont realise how great they are till you need them :)

Today is the first day I havent called or texted her but give it till this evening and ill be receiving a torrent of texts and calls saying how she loves me but this time I'm going to be strong and not reply! Hence the pub idea!! Beer time woo :D
 
Totality said:
If thats one thing I've learnt out of it all thats it. Never blow off your mates to be with your GF all the time. You dont realise how great they are till you need them :)
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I make time for my mates during the week, and then the weekends for the GF. Simple as.
 
If you expect it to be like a short distance relationship, yes.

A long distance relationship is a different proposition and will never be the same as a short distance one, if you can accept that, then it's fine.
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Totality said:
If thats one thing I've learnt out of it all thats it. Never blow off your mates to be with your GF all the time. You dont realise how great they are till you need them :)
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I've got completely fed up with a 'mate' who seems joined at the hip with his gf. Fair enough they're going out, but the few times I've seen him since they've been together, he's been with her. Heck the one time he wasn't with her, he asked me to go and pick her up!

Also, I'd be the one to phone him to hang out - last time I phoned he was like "yeah I'll see what Jess is up to" :rolleyes: Then he said he can't meet up - "I can't meet up on Sunday cos Jess has a day off" ... wtf kind of reason is that. I told him how completely **** that was, then he changed his mind ("oh yeah, uhm, you can come over and see us though if you want").

Didn't phone him since that and haven't seen him for about 2 months now. It's a shame really, he was one of the few "friends" I made at college and we hung out a lot together. What a ****er.
 
Been with my man for about 2.5 years now. He's in Leeds and I'm in Swansea.

For me it's got a lot easier the longer we're together. We trust each other totally and see each other every fortnight at the longest and a lot of the time most weekends. He's moving here ASAP and once he'd decided that our relationship became a lot stronger and we got closer. We're incredibly close now.

We do tend to keep in touch far more now than at the beginning of the relationship. We talk on the phone every night and txt each other all the time, usually just silly things but it keeps us happy.
 
Well its over!! Got rid of her tonight and went out with my mates for the beers. Almost on cue she started calling and texting saying she only wants me (despite last night still not knowing if she still loved her ex lol).

Roll on the weeked as all us single guys have a lads night out planned :D All my mates have been telling me for ages to get rid and after peoples posts in here about trust I just have to concede that it just wont work!

Hope her ex was worth it thats all I'll say!
 
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