Asked to stop blasphemy

Diddums

Diddums

Diddums

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Wife rang me up this morning with an interesting one. She's friends with one of the people in her building and they chat every day. Not the same company, they just know each other from daily interactions and get on well. My wife and I have no kids and our speech proves this as we are both a bit loose with our tongues. We're not religious either so saying things like "oh god" and "jesus christ" come fairly naturally to us. Now this woman my wife is friends with has asked her to stop using these terms as it offends her.

Her instant reaction (in her head, she was polite) was to **** off, I am who I am and if you don't like it then go hang out with other people, and I'm inclined to agree. She shouldn't have to change her mannerisms because it offends someone, something I support fully.

I won't change my mind on this either but thought it might make in interesting topic for discussion so here we are. What say you GD?
 
If she is a friend why would your wife want to offend her? No, she is under no obligation to modify her language but I don't see why she wouldn't. My mother in law is religious and I don't swear in front of her just because its the polite thing to do and it doesn't cost me anything really.
 
No obligation whatsoever in my view, but if you see someone as a friend then it might be a nice thing to do to try and make a small change to how you speak. Depends on what sort of person you are.
 
Hmm tricky one - I personally try to avoid it around people I know are religious - a good number of my relatives are so tend to be something I encounter from time to time. On the other hand I don't really see an obligation as such it isn't really your problem if someone can't tell the difference between an intention to cause offence and everyday usage.
 
If someone was genuinely offended by blasphemy, (and not the currently in vogue being offended for being offended's sake of this, that and the other), I would do my best to not to utter words that they saw as blasphemous. I take pride in conversing generally without recourse to foul language, but I admit I could well be accused saying or writing the odd word that a committed Christian could take offence to.
 
dl8860 said:
No obligation whatsoever in my view, but if you see someone as a friend then it might be a nice thing to do to try and make a small change to how you speak. Depends on what sort of person you are.
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VincentHanna said:
Is it any different from not swearing around your partners mum? I'm sure we all have to reign it in at some point and it's not that difficult.
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I agree. It takes little effort, and if it means you can get on well with some friends then all is good, so long as they're willing to let slide the odd slip-up of course, it works both ways.

If we all get offended by others being offended then nobody will get on with anyone. If you're are able to get along and enjoy one another's company with a little effort and tolerance, then it just makes everything a bit better. But it is a two way street.
 
Why should she have to change her mannerisms just because it offends someone else's belief? The 'friend' could equally choose to ignore the blasphemy.
 
Just to add to this:

My wife did tell her she would try make an effort not to say "oh my God" and that she was not aware of it. The issue is this... this woman always approaches my wife for advice and help and just to vent about her life. My wife helps her at work and even in her personal life. It's not my wife that approaches her.
 
If she's a friend then probably best to change. It' what a friend would do.

It's obviously important to her. And it doesn't cost anything.

But if neither want. To change then don't be friends?
 
Its actually quite sad that the first gut reaction to the knowledge that you have offended someone is to tell them to **** off. Complete lack of tolerance for the feelings of others.
 
Diddums said:
Just to add to this:

My wife did tell her she would try make an effort not to say "oh my God" and that she was not aware of it. The issue is this... this woman always approaches my wife for advice and help and just to vent about her life. My wife helps her at work and even in her personal life. It's not my wife that approaches her.
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Sounds like an one-sided friendship to me.
 
PiKe said:
Why should she have to change her mannerisms just because it offends someone else's belief? The 'friend' could equally choose to ignore the blasphemy.
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We've someone at work who is an active Christian - not sure denomination or anything actually I keep meaning to ask - she just accepts that not everyone shares her beliefs and attempts to remove herself from a situation where exposed to it if she feels it necessary.

Unfortunately not all are like that.
 
I'd probably just reign it in a bit, it's no hardship to not say a couple of particular phrases if they upset someone.

If it's just someone being awkward to be a nuisance it's maybe different but if it's a friend, chances are it legitimately bothers them.

Whilst it may be 'my right' to cause as much offence as I want and expect the other party to just lump it, that doesn't override the fact I'd prefer not to upset my friends if I can
 
I don't go out of my way to offend anyone but sometimes **** happens.
What can you do? Say sorry, I'll try not to do it.
If it happens though, really, get over it it lady.
If it bothers you so much then put earplugs in.

I guess it's a 3 or 4 strike rule.
 
Rroff said:
We've someone at work who is an active Christian - not sure denomination or anything actually I keep meaning to ask - she just accepts that not everyone shares her beliefs and attempts to remove herself from a situation where exposed to it if she feels it necessary.

Unfortunately not all are like that.
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And this is the point exactly. If someone comes to you for advice and as a support, and then asks you to change the way you speak, surely you'd tell them to do one as well? That's what I would do anyway. If they want the advice and the correct terminology, then there are professionals more than happy to take their money for it.
 
Oh, Diddums.

Crazy person... tell your wife to run away quickly before the "offended" lady puts on a pointy white hat and burns her at the stake...
 
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