Aspirations for children

Burnsy2023 said:
Read the thread, that's not the point.
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You or your significant other find out that they are pregnant with a daughter.

What three career choices would you most like to see your daughter have when they are adult?
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Erm yeah it is.

I want my child to do what ever they want to do. Forcing children to abide by your ideals is almost as bad as forcing religion.
 
LateX'Dog said:
So ignoring all the scientific evidence which shows the massive benefit a child has from having their mother around for the first 3 years is absurd?

It almost seems that this community and other ignorant people in general, think women should just push out a kid and return to work 20mins later and **** the child, stick it in child care, give it food out of sachets like a dog/cat, refer to the child as a separate entity not related to a human being until they hit an arbitrary age bracket, then ship them off to school for 40 hours a week and try and instil their family values from 6pm till bed time. Then wonder 'Whats happened to my child'.

I could rant on more about how absolutely ******* pathetic the world of common parenting has become, but i know how OCUK works and challenging social norms generally results in the pitchfork mob.
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You do realize there is a middle ground between taking a whole 5 years off and just putting a baby into day care? Women can choose what is best for them and their family. Part time working, support from their partner and family can still give a good family life. Its a personal choice dependent on individual circumstances.
 
LateX'Dog said:
Erm yeah it is.

I want my child to do what ever they want to do. Forcing children to abide by your ideals is almost as bad as forcing religion.
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It was merely a vehicle to see what people's valued professions were for girls. I was not suggesting that you should dictate what careers your children should do. But you'd know that if YOU READ THE THREAD.
 
Burnsy2023 said:
You do realize there is a middle ground between taking a whole 5 years off and just putting a baby into day care? Women can choose what is best for them and their family. Part time working, support from their partner and family can still give a good family life. Its a personal choice dependent on individual circumstances.
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So science has shown the detrimental effects of child care, of mothers leaving their babies too early and putting children into school too early and for too long.

Yet this isn't enough!?

What will be enough? When will people stop being so blind to the knowledge that the above practice, (which is practised by a lot of parents) is damaging their children?

Hitting your child, shouting at your child, all proven to cause irreversible damage biologically to your child, yet people still hit and scream at their children?
 
Anecdoatally my daughter who attends nursery three days per week has developed faster than a couple of her friends who only stay at home with their mothers. This is both socially and educationally.
 
Burnsy2023 said:
Link me to the papers and I'll see exactly what it's saying is detrimental.
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Hitting and screaming at your child:

http://www.themoneytimes.com/node/85300
http://www.utexas.edu/know/2009/09/21/elizabeth_gershoff
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/booster_shots/2009/09/spanking-iq.html
http://www.nospank.net/johnson2.htm
http://nospank.net/straus15.pdf
http://www.stophitting.com/index.php?page=factsvsopinions
http://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/spanked.html
http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1926222,00.html

Video for you if you can't be bothered to read the above:


Nice video series:



Detrimental effect of childcare:

If your too lazy to listen, it mainly starts around 9mins in. I started at 5mins because i felt it wasn't really needed with relation to here.

Free to register and read:

http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/1130535?uid=3738032&uid=2&uid=4&sid=21103409564617

http://www.familyfacts.org/briefs/4...-the-social-emotional-development-of-children


Try listening and reading the above and then come back. But i know OCUK, you'll just take a 30 sec look and then come back an expert.
 
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.... isn't that about spanking children though? Admittedly haven't clicked all the links but they seem to be about a completely different point :p
 
LateX'Dog said:
So ignoring all the scientific evidence which shows the massive benefit a child has from having their mother around for the first 3 years is absurd?
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Women should have 5 years off because research has shown the benefit of having a mother around for the first 3 years?

Regardless of the validity of the research, there is a huge 2 year gap right there
 
LateX'Dog said:
Hitting and screaming at your child:

http://www.themoneytimes.com/node/85300
http://www.utexas.edu/know/2009/09/21/elizabeth_gershoff
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/booster_shots/2009/09/spanking-iq.html
http://www.nospank.net/johnson2.htm
http://nospank.net/straus15.pdf
http://www.stophitting.com/index.php?page=factsvsopinions
http://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/spanked.html
http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1926222,00.html

Video for you if you can't be bothered to read the above:


Nice video series:



Detrimental effect of childcare:

If your too lazy to listen, it mainly starts around 9mins in. I started at 5mins because i felt it wasn't really needed with relation to here.

Free to register and read:

http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/1130535?uid=3738032&uid=2&uid=4&sid=21103409564617

http://www.familyfacts.org/briefs/4...-the-social-emotional-development-of-children


Try listening and reading the above and then come back. But i know OCUK, you'll just take a 30 sec look and then come back an expert.
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I appreciate the post, but I was not arguing that screaming or hitting children isn't detrimental, I was wanting to know what the scientific evidence is stating exactly in regards of mothers leaving their children 'too early'. For this I'm after a collection of scientific papers - primary sources, not news papers or other sources.
 
Burnsy2023 said:
I appreciate the post, but I was not arguing that screaming or hitting children isn't detrimental, I was wanting to know what the scientific evidence is stating exactly in regards of mothers leaving their children 'too early'. For this I'm after a collection of scientific papers - primary sources, not news papers or other sources.
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You clearly didn't read my post. :)

If you had you would have heard the person speaking from a book which you can find on Amazon, which cites all of their sources.

There is also another link i posted and i'm trying to get access to 2 published papers, Belsky 1988 (INFANT DAY-CARE AND SOCIOEMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT - THE UNITED-STATES) and Baydar and Brooks-Gunn 1991 (EFFECTS OF MATERNAL EMPLOYMENT AND CHILD-CARE ARRANGEMENTS ON PRESCHOOLERS COGNITIVE AND BEHAVIORAL OUTCOMES - EVIDENCE FROM THE CHILDREN OF THE NATIONAL LONGITUDINAL SURVEY OF YOUTH)

From page 110 and 111 of Understanding Childrens Development (Forth Edition) by Peter K Smith, Helen Cowie and Mark Blades (ISBN - 0-631-22823-3 in case anyone thinks I'm making it up)

I quote:

Belsky concluded that initiating day care of more then 20 hours per week before the child is one year of age may be a risk factor for mother-infant relationships. Combining data from five studies, the risk of having insecure attachment to the mother was 43 per cent for infants experiencing high day care, but only 26 per cent for infants experiencing low (or no) day care.
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However, a survey by Baydar and Brooks-Gunn (1991) of 1181 children in the USA, based on longitudinal data, gave findings more in support of Belsky's view. They reported that maternal employment starting in the first year of the infant's life had 'significant negative effects on cognitive and behavioural outcomes', but not if maternal employment was deferred to the child's second or third year
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I am listening to a chap reading from a book, stating a 1960s study which looked at children under 1 year old, who were abruptly left with a stranger at random for several minutes by a mother who didn't speak to the child before leaving.

That isn't how childcare works.
 
Hikari Kisugi said:
I am listening to a chap reading from a book, stating a 1960s study which looked at children under 1 year old, who were abruptly left with a stranger at random for several minutes by a mother who didn't speak to the child before leaving.

That isn't how childcare works.
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Its part of the picture, as I've posted above.

You may not experience child care like this, but I'm almost certain it happens.
 
Indeed, but then the rest of the videos relates to CMV infections, and paedophilia/child abuse.
Its not a compelling argument for me to take my child away from her 3 hour a day playgroup at the age of 3.....
 
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