Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Piece of Toast

[Psyk]

But they would have seen it before it went out and through their own logic and understanding of light bulbs and their functions would realise it needed changing and proceed to do so with the aid of a torch or other light source if required.

The lightbulb was a metaphor for god, it spoils the joke if you read into it too much

 

[tang0]

really...... I thought atheism wasnt a religion..... if its not trying to be a religion why are so called atheists going to huddlesfield............................. for a piece of toast. thats just beggers belief! and then an "atheist association"? what the hell do people that dont believe in anything but have an idea require an association for??????

Im not gonna call myself atheist anymore if there are morons like this associated with it.

Im a "idealist". **** all this atheist carp

satire..

YOU HEARD OF IT???

 

[Talkie_Toaster]

My lord has arrived!

And so it was to be, the human race was fruitful and multiplied, and lived under God's grace and wisdom, content with the Earth, but mourning the loss of toast, eggos and pop-tarts. Until one day, a holy and wise old man named Moses left a slice of bread out in the hot sun of the Sahara desert, and went off to talk with a burning bush. When he came back, there was a piece of toast waiting for him, and Moses fell to his knees to thank God in his mercifulness.

So Moses went on to climb Mount Sinai, where God gave him two large pieces of toast, with His commandments written on them in Strawberry Jam. He went down the mount to find a bunch of pagans worshipping a cow and eating huge slabs of beef.

"Eat toast!" said Moses unto the Pagans.

"Toast! Ha! Toast is passe," said the Pagans. "Here, have some beef."

At which Moses became angry, and cast down one of the giant pieces of toast, and the jam was smeared all over the rocks, making the commandments illegible. The Pagans liked the rocks, and ate the toast, and saw the glory of God, and, more importantly, the glory of toast.

The ten commandments of God, written on the other piece, are:

1. Thou shalt covet toast, and toasted products, and toast them to desired

crispiness, and season them with condiments to desired taste.

2. Thou shalt not place unnatural condiments on toast, such as ketchup, which

is meant for fries, or Bar-B-Que sauce, which is meant for beef.

3. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's toast.

4. Thou shalt not burn toast until it is black, thus rendering a devinity

inedible, unless you really do like it black.

5. Thou shalt eat toast for breakfast or for lunch, but not for dinner. Too

much of a good thing is sinful.

6. Grilled cheese sandwiches shalt not be considered a toast product, since

it is grilled, not toasted.

7. Thou shalt not stick a fork in a toaster, or suffer God's wrath.

8. Thou shalt not try and fix thy toaster by taking it apart thyself. Thou

shalt send it to a qualified repairperson, or by praying.

9. Thou shalt be generous with thy toast always.

10. Thou shalt not kill, steal, commit adultry, etc. etc.

 

[Scougar]

Being a Jesus Believer also, I found it great. I wish I'd thought of it first because I dislike all this "Mary in a shadow/ drainpipe/ fence" rubbish that actually gets any media attention. It's so comical.

Although it's a joke, I wonder how much that toast would go for on ebay?

satire..YOU HEARD OF IT???

It's that newly discovered colour isn't it?

Matthew

 

[wolvers]

Best thread..........ever!

 

[Psyk]

Another lightbulb joke I shamelessly stole:

How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?


Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won’t claim that god did it.

 

[The Dread Pirate]

Does anyone realise the full implications of this!?!?!?!?! our universe could quite simply be a Mahoosive piece of Toast

 

[Cr0fty]

Oh geez, not the damned Athiests again.

They believe in something as ridiculous as a big bang yet do not believe in the concept of a God. Maybe, God is the big bang and we are his children, a part of him, longing to become one again? Never though of that, did you?! Idiots.

Pssh 'god' was made up when people didn't have a clue what was happening in the world. "It's raining...Must be god and his anger again!"
Oh and then the church used the idea of God as a get rich quick scheme

in my opinion, that is

 

[valve90210]

Not as good as Jesus in a piece of wood :

http://www.myfoxcolorado.com/myfox/...ale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=1.1.1&sflg=1

the pic looks more like an arrow pointing to the centre to me, out from which the rings are eminating....much like how the big bang happened....

Valve

 

[Tefal]

I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence.

 

[something_totally_different]

Not as good as Jesus in a piece of wood :

http://www.myfoxcolorado.com/myfox/...ale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=1.1.1&sflg=1

thats a horseman from LOTR

 

[Conscript]

Why a Christian God is Impossible

Interesting read

 

[The Dread Pirate]

Not as good as Jesus in a piece of wood :

http://www.myfoxcolorado.com/myfox/...ale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=1.1.1&sflg=1

Looks more like death to me! Seriously

 

[Psyk]

Another shamelessly stolen joke:

The story is told of the Atheist who accosted a preacher. "Do you believe in eternal life?" The preacher has no time to reply. "Well its a load of rubbish!" shouted the Atheist. "I believe in science, evolution, survival of the fittest, and when we die, that's it! No eternal life, no great judgement, and no God!" The Atheist continues his assault against the preacher repetitiously and tirelessly. "Eternal life! Eternal life! Ha! "Its all pie in the sky when you die." When I die that's it, the end, no eternal life, no nothing. He continues, until he reaches his climax, "I will be buried six feet under when I die and that's it! Nothing! Caput! When I die I am utterly convinced that that will be the end of me!"

"Well thank God for that" replies the preacher!

 

[The Dread Pirate]

Another shamelessly stolen joke:

The story is told of the Atheist who accosted a preacher. "Do you believe in eternal life?" The preacher has no time to reply. "Well its a load of rubbish!" shouted the Atheist. "I believe in science, evolution, survival of the fittest, and when we die, that's it! No eternal life, no great judgement, and no God!" The Atheist continues his assault against the preacher repetitiously and tirelessly. "Eternal life! Eternal life! Ha! "Its all pie in the sky when you die." When I die that's it, the end, no eternal life, no nothing. He continues, until he reaches his climax, "I will be buried six feet under when I die and that's it! Nothing! Caput! When I die I am utterly convinced that that will be the end of me!"

"Well thank God for that" replies the preacher!

AUSFALLEN!

 

[Psyk]

AUSFALLEN!

eh?

 

[Mike UK]

LOL I always thought the locals round here were nuts

 

[yantorsen]

Why a Christian God is Impossible

Interesting read

most of the stuff in that article show a quite severe lack of understanding of the bible, and it is very narrow minded as the author seems to only see what he wants to in the bible.

 

[The Dread Pirate]

eh?

FAIL auf Deutsch

 

[Conscript]

most of the stuff in that article show a quite severe lack of understanding of the bible, and it is very narrow minded as the author seems to only see what he wants to in the bible.

Really? Such as what?