Best man advice!

markomania

markomania

markomania

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Joined
15 Feb 2010
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638
Location
Birmingham
Hey all,

3 weeks today I'll be best man for the first time at my best friends wedding so I've been looking more into things a best man does on the day and I'm a bit confused with the protocol

Obviously the big thing is the speech (which I really need to start soon :o) but some of the lists I have read online seem a bit OTT to me so would appreciate some former best men/general advice on what roughly to expect

I thought something along the lines of;

make sure the groom doesn't have too big a breakdown
get him to the church on time
look after rings
look after ushers/guest queries/seating etc
organise people for the photo? (200+ how fun :D)
the lovely speech (no comment..)
hopefully relax and enjoy the party!

Am I along the right lines?

Also wedding gifts I am completely lost, they have only asked for cash from guests so I was going to give a decent amount to them with a card but from some sites I've read this might not be enough? Also some say hand it over during the speech which seems random to me

Think that's about it, some tips for speech wouldn't hurt although I think I am actually going to be ok with it which is a shock to me, I don't do much talking as it is so I honestly have no idea why I feel so calm about it right now! :D

I'll apologise in advance for the slow reply, I've typed this after a night out so may not wake up for some hours!

Cheers
 
Your list sounds about right of things to do.

Most of it should flow straightforward anyway.

Money wise - that's up to you how much to give. Just because they've asked for cash for wedding, doesn't mean you can't get them a nice gift instead. Something for their house? etc

Don't hand it over during the speech. Catch the couple at a less public time and give them it if you wish.

Don't get drunk before the speeches, practice it. Don't go on too long.

As someone once said to me - "a good speech is like a womans skirt, long enough to cover the essentials, but short enough to maintain interest"

Good luck
 
Was in your boots in September

I had known about it all year but wrote my speech a few days before, I wondered down to the pub on my own and juat sat there over a few beers, I had a couple of days to play about with it and it worked fine.

If you write it to early your forever be changing it.

So yes in short as best man in a fairly low budget church wedding where beers etc were provided foc in the hall, there was no bar etc

I
Made sure we were on time,
look after all the guests as best as possible,
tried to have it away with the bridesmaids without my Mrs noticing,
Looked after the rings
Helped organise anything I could

Speech was 5 mins , few jokes, few facts, thanked everybody for comming , took the mick our of the groom and finished with a toast

Then I just made sure the party was in good flow, helped keep the place tidy, helped any issues out on the day, made sure drinks were always stocked and kept cleaning glasses away.
I never did get away with the bridesmaids so had to settle for the Mrs at the end of the night

Good luck fella
 
Got this to come next May and have already been thinking of things for the speech. Was going to go easy on him as the groom is my best man a few months later but sod it, might as well embarrass him!
 
Cheers for the advice, seems like I wasn't as far off as I thought

Good idea with giving the ushers some of the jobs I really don't want to do too, I guess I am their boss for the day!

I'm also currently a single best man so fully expect my title to help me out :D
 
OP don't swear during your speech.

As for gifts, my groom hates Jamie Oliver. So I bought him a Jamie Oliver Cook book with his face on the front. I wrote a real heart felt message inside and then pointed that out during my speech as I handed it to him.

Later, I gave them both a fair amount of money in a card. Can't really beat cash prizes can you?
 
I acted as private security for the grooms stag do (one of the big jobs he gave me as best man). Before the stag at a particularly "known" overseas venue he told me what not to let his workmates do (a right laugh they were I can tell you :D one going up to Spanish airport security asking for a voluntary rectal examination).

At the speech I still had plenty of ammunition. Went down a storm when the pictures were handed out. Groom very red faced, everyone laughing and the bride in shock lol. Perfect best man speech if I do say so myself :p
 
Have you had the stag yet? The best man normally arranges a prank on the groom during the stag. At ours, the best man played 2 pranks. 1st one was we all put a bit of money in and bought an ape/monkey outfit that he had to wear for part of the stag... fairly innocent and we were all in it on this prank. 2nd prank, none of us were in on this except for the best man but it involved a strip club and the groom got pranked in there (won't go into details as NSFW).
 
For the speech I am just going to play it safe, there's gonna be 200 people there so I can't really bring out the most disgusting embarrassing stories, I do that enough other times anyway haha.

I'll go for something like, not too long, few funny jokes about the groom, compliment bride etc. Should be enough to keep people entertained and save me from getting abused if I offended some great relative/kid whatever

Pawnless Endgame said:
Have you had the stag yet? The best man normally arranges a prank on the groom during the stag. At ours, the best man played 2 pranks. 1st one was we all put a bit of money in and bought an ape/monkey outfit that he had to wear for part of the stag... fairly innocent and we were all in it on this prank. 2nd prank, none of us were in on this except for the best man but it involved a strip club and the groom got pranked in there (won't go into details as NSFW).
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Bonjour said:
No. 1 responsibility is the stag do :)
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Stag do has been and gone :) groom still hasn't fully recovered so good job it was a couple of months before wedding!

Greebo said:
Thought best man had to buy gifts fro the bridesmaids traditionally? Or has that been dropped now?
Click to expand...

Well if it is that certainly isn't happening :p they all have partners as well which makes it even worse!
 
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