All stress test utilities should be used as a rough guide ONLY, use the ones that suits your needs and then use your system normally. If it crashes make notes of codes etc to determine if its cpu/vcore related or memory, there is lots of info around to work out the codes etc or just ask!
Also, just because you use XMP, never think it cant be memory related, it can! As this is still overclocking.
This is the most sensible approach what you mainly need is a system to be stable for your needs not to run hours of X Y or Z, they don't load the system in the way you are day to day.
Realbench is a good guide yes as it also stresses GPU and is not running AVX which is kicking the hell out of the CPU.