What do you call a fish without any eyes? A fsh.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, “Dam”.
A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”
A man walks into a bar with a slab of tarmac under his arm and says: A pint please, and one for the road.”
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”
Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The green, green grass of home’.” “That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.” “Is it common?” “It’s not unusual.”
Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly “I was artificially inseminated this morning.” “I don’t believe you,” said Dolly. “It’s true, no bull!”
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, “I’ve lost my electron.” The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive...”
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, “My dog’s cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?” “Well,” says the vet, “let’s have a look at him”. So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, “I’m going to have to put him down.” “What? Because he’s crosseyed?” “No, because he’s really heavy”.
My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a strong currant.
Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, “I’ll man the guns, you can drive this thing.”
What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
A woman walks into a cocktail bar and asks for a ‘double entendre’, so the barman gives her one!
