What's with all the 'you can't modify that...' comments? Balls to it; you can modify ANYTHING.
E30 316i Touring, engine out of a 535i, Turbo out of a bus, two sets of Triumph 955i throttle bodies, carbon plenum, forged internals, LSD, 7x14 steels at the front, 9.5x14 steels at the rear, tow bar, stickers for the caravan club, longleat safari park, RSPB et cetera in the rear window, dog guard disguising a roll hoop, grey bumpers and patina'd original paint.
Or a Volvo 240 wagon, styled the same as above and running a very hot redblock.
Both would have the kinky side of 400bhp.
*n