Bullying Advice (not sure if it would be classed as bullying)

joelk2

joelk2

joelk2

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So ive been working at the company now for 9 years. In this 9 years ive taken ona hell of a lot of extra work to ensure my department runs smooth (was 3 of us and then they made 1 redundant)

so we've all been doing it.

ive seen through 6 MD's within the company and have personally had 4 managers.

the most recent of ones became our manager a few years ago (moved from elesewhere within the company)

the company is going through a "Change" and basically we are merging with other companies the main group owns. my manager since then has become a complete tool to put it bluntly.

we have to now copy him into every email and he's told us to be more friendly and polite in our emails (which we've done) every day I come in to an email from him (not leading by example) which is saying i could have done this or that better or critisizing something ive done.

not once has he said thankyou your emails are much better now.

he told me to add

"if i can be of any further assistance please find my direct contact details below" to my emails.

i added this as a signature and he commented that its getting repetitve and not very personal so only use that line on the first email to the customer.

i sent my 4th email within 2 days to a customer and removed that line of text only to come into an email this morning where he said I think that email would have been a prime example to use that line on.

i dont know if i have a case for bullying but it certainly feels that way, he's very demoralizing and quite honestly I want to leave based on him alone.

Another good one is in my appraisal he had a pile of my quotations I'd prepared and pointed out mistakes in all of them (i put semior instead of senior in one) I didnt have full customer details (i use what is given by my sales reps and wasnt given the full details)

not once was it brought up how much work we actually do and the full team of 5 of us contribute to 40%+ of the companies profit in which their are hundreds of people doing anything sales related. everything was about ensure we have a personalised phone message and our emails are nice.

sorry fot the long winded email.

tdlr; boss is a tool, i think he's bullying (might not be the right word) me do i have a leg to stand on/is it worth going to hr.
 
No, you don't. He's making perfectly valid suggestions about how you deal with the customer.

Having the same copy pasted line on every mail is poor, it's impersonal and means nothing to anyone. It's like an electronic announcer at a train station 'apologising' for a delay.

If you are finishing an email which has provided assistance to the customer, then closing it with something along the lines of "if you need any further help, don't hesitate to get in touch" is the right thing to do.

If you're asking them a question, including that line = bad.
 
Bullying? He's managing you, that's his job.

He might not be very good at it but it's far from bullying.
 
Based on the examples you have given it sounds more like micromanagement than bullying.

"Going to HR" sounds like a disaster waiting to happen because there is nothing in what you've written to suggest bullying (I appreciate I am not there so maybe it is supported by aggressive conversations etc) or anything particularly untoward, so they will not find against your boss, it will just serve to alienate him and cause further breakdown in your relationship.

As I said it sounds to me like your boss is micromanaging which can be demoralising as you have found, especially if it is not tempered by praise for things that you do well. In summations their man-management skills could be improved and this is something you could (constructively) feedback if your organisation has a culture of gathering feedback (not all do).
 
Like others have said it's not bullying it's poor management, unfortunately depending on how your company operates/what the guy is like there's not going to be a great deal you can do about it.

I don't blame you for being hacked off with it though, I couldn't work like that. Luckily my manager leaves me be apart from a quick meeting every couple of weeks just to see where we're all at.
 
i did mention bullying might be the wrong word.

thanks fo the feedback though chaps.

knowing him he is not a good manager in the slightest. he doesnt practice what he preaches which is the thing that winds me up.

his words are treat everyone internal or external the same. yet his internal emails are riddled with spelling mistakes, are pretty rube and abrupt.

external emails he's been known on more than one occasion to forward internal emails to customers (one in particular was when a sales rep told them not to change the quote as the customer thinks they are getting a discount but none has been applied)

the way he manages seems to focus on all the wrong things. my emails have always been polite and ive always been very helpful, we've received a lot of repeat business due to the way ive handled the customer.
 
To be honest it sounds like he may be trying to justify his position to his bosses since the company is changing which I imagine is going to put him under the microscope.
 
Not bullying, but he is certainly a poor people manager.

The question is: do your colleagues feel the same way? Could you approach him as a group to give him some well prepared and constructive feedback?
 
mid_gen said:
No, you don't. He's making perfectly valid suggestions about how you deal with the customer.

Having the same copy pasted line on every mail is poor, it's impersonal and means nothing to anyone. It's like an electronic announcer at a train station 'apologising' for a delay.

If you are finishing an email which has provided assistance to the customer, then closing it with something along the lines of "if you need any further help, don't hesitate to get in touch" is the right thing to do.

If you're asking them a question, including that line = bad.
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Isn't it completely pointless to say it at all? If your signature has your contact details on it, most people are smart enough to use them if they need to!
 
HungryHippos said:
Isn't it completely pointless to say it at all? If your signature has your contact details on it, most people are smart enough to use them if they need to!
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you'd think so.

it was more of the point him telling me to do it, and then telling me not to and then going back on what he said and telling me to add it.
 
I once worked for somebody who would chop and change his mind in a similar fashion. Part of my role was to write commentary to go alongside the analysis of the Financial statements, he would proof read and then reword things based on how he wanted the message to come across. I would often find him reword something one month, the next month I would keep the commentary in line with what he had changed it to, only for him to say he didn't like it and then change it again. It was like trying to hit a constantly moving target.

In the end whenever he did that I would attach his old emails that told me to change it in the first place. Not sure that really helped the situation, but it made me feel a lot better.
 
Rids said:
I once worked for somebody who would chop and change his mind in a similar fashion. Part of my role was to write commentary to go alongside the analysis of the Financial statements, he would proof read and then reword things based on how he wanted the message to come across. I would often find him reword something one month, the next month I would keep the commentary in line with what he had changed it to, only for him to say he didn't like it and then change it again. It was like trying to hit a constantly moving target.

In the end whenever he did that I would attach his old emails that told me to change it in the first place. Not sure that really helped the situation, but it made me feel a lot better.
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it would make me feel better too so know where your coming from.

we dont see eye to eye, we have had heated discussions in the past about a similar situation.

he told us the sales reps need to do more, when i asked a sales rep to get me the full information my manager said this is something i could do instead. (i pointed out thats exactly what he told us not to do and we had a debate about it which ended with him saying my attitude wasnt right for the company)
 
joelk2 said:
it would make me feel better too so know where your coming from.

we dont see eye to eye, we have had heated discussions in the past about a similar situation.

he told us the sales reps need to do more, when i asked a sales rep to get me the full information my manager said this is something i could do instead. (i pointed out thats exactly what he told us not to do and we had a debate about it which ended with him saying my attitude wasnt right for the company)
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Any chance of answering my post regarding your colleagues etc?
 
joelk2 said:
ahh missed that one sorry,

colleague does feel the same but he's not one to rock the boat so to say. he's happy to sit quiet until they turns the lights out at the company.
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Ok, then essentially it's down to you to politely and calmly voice your concerns in a direct meeting with your manager, or simply sit there and get increasingly frustrated. Considering how protected UK employees are in situations like this, I would give it a go. It all depends if you can hack a potential worsening of relations in the short term, or if you feel it's got to the point where the alternative of letting it go on is even worse.
 
The Craig said:
Just leave /look for a new job?
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something im looking into, kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place with that one.

no post college qualifications (qualified as an electronic engineer)
no real experience in the field i want to move to (structural - except my job 9 years ago when i modelled and detailed bridges)
paid ok for what i actually do (cad technician)

been here 9 years without any real progress, its 10 mins walk from house door to door and i walk past where my little girl starts school in september

so any new job i take will need to be a decrease in pay which is not viable with a mortgage/family and bills
 
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joelk2 said:
something im looking into, kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place with that one.

no post college qualifications (qualified as an electronic engineer)
no real experience in the field i want to move to (structural - except my job 9 years ago when i modelled and detailed bridges)
paid ok for what i actually do (cad technician)

been here 9 years without any real progress, its 10 mins walk from house door to door and i walk past where my little girl starts school in september

so any new job i take will need to be a decrease in pay which is not viable with a mortgage/family and bills
Click to expand...

To be fair mate it sounds like you have really just taken the easy option all of these years, instead of bettering yourself and your prospects.

It's never too late to go back and so do some learning.
 
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