Busses

A man standing at a bus stop was eating a burger. Next to him stood a lady with her little dog, which became very excited at the smell of the man’s food and began whining and jumping up at him. “Do you mind if I throw him a bit?” said the man to the lady. “Not at all,” she replied, so he picked the dog up and threw it over a wall.
 
Shirley Rd and Shirley High St (although this could be said for Southampton in general) are often stupidly congested these days, it's become a lot worse over the last ~10 years, too many people driving short journeys in a city surrounded by rivers on three sides.
 
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I can remember getting a double decker with my Gran in Durham, as a very young kid and it still had a conductor. Must have been right at the end of that era of bus conductors.
 
It appears that we’re having “far out” bus tales, so I’ll kick one in.
I got on a bus in Warsaw, and a guy came round, checking tickets.
I thought, “I’ll point to the place where I’m going to on the map, and get some złotys out to buy the ticket.”
He came to me and said something, I pointed to the map, and looked enquiringly at him.
He said, “Poproszę bilet.”
I knew that prosze was please, and bilet sounded like billet, which was French for ticket, but I could do little else but wonder what came next.
He was talking to me in Polish, quite calmly, but we were getting nowhere, when a young guy piped up in English, “He’s asking for your ticket, you’re supposed to buy one from a machine, before boarding.”
He and the inspector had a short conversation, then he said, “The ticket inspector said that he won’t take any action, just remember to buy a ticket next time.”
I suspect though, that one or both of them said something like, “Silly Angielski *******!
 
SexyGreyFox said:
I've been run over twice by buses, once in 1971 and again in 1974 :)
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With all due respects SGF, I put it you that you were either swiped by a passing bus, and fell to the ground, or knocked over by a bus, which then passed over you, without the wheels going over your body, as had you been run over by the wheels of the bus in 1971, you may not have been around in 1974, for another bus to have a go.
Swiped, knocked over, or run over, it must have been traumatic, so I’m not making light of it.

jsmoke said:
Trying sitting you class C or PVC and you'll have a different appreciation.
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I think that you mean PCV test, as in Passenger Carrying Vehicle, and I’m guessing C is what was formerly a Class 2 HGV.
I guess that a PCV test is rigorous, as you’ll be carrying passengers, but I don’t know what is entailed in a Class C test, I got my HGV all classes licence back in the 70s I think, by Grandad rights, i.e., I’d been driving articulated vehicles for 8-10 years prior to HGV licences being introduced.
I took my Black Cab driving test circa mid to late 80s, and it was similar to a car licence test I think, just be aware of what was behind you, and around you, and be in the right gear for road circumstances, (I took it in a manual, but I knew that I’d never drive anything but auto after I got my licence).
I kept thinking, should I cut across someone, to pick up an imaginary fare, or turn round on a dime, so that the examiner knew that I had a proper Black Cab driver’s mindset?
 
A kid at my school was run over by a school bus back in the 80's. He's nearly 50 now and has had problems walking his whole life due to the wheels rolling over his lower body. He has tire marks on his skin but he survived the encounter. This was a double decker bus too. I still see him from time to time and we do still chat.
 
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