C&C on portrait attempt please

[ScarySquirrel]

Any comments on this picture please?

It was only a quick snap when I was messing around. I was holding some tin foil in front of the flash to direct it around the room and I was surprised at the different it made. So much so I am looking to buy an external flash this month.

This was never meant to be a final shot but I quite like it. I know the focus is slightly out on her lips but does anyone have any other comments?

I did the PP on my laptop and the screen always makes things lighter so on your screen it might seem very dark.

 

[iGiDK]

Portraiture is not my most preferred area in photography but I'll start by telling you honestly what I like and what I don't like - whether or not this matches up with the rules of portraiture we shall see

I like your B&W conversion, the tones work well. I also like how you've captured the textures in her hair - the sharpness here is spot on for me and not overcooked. You've focused on the eye which ticks another box for me, but I feel things could be slightly sharper it's almost as if you've front-focused ever so slightly.

I don't like how the DOF has blurred her left eye, and also the far side of her cheek/jaw. For me there is too much of a contrast in sharpness between both sides of her portrait i.e. one is clearly defined and sharp while the other distracts. The area around the nose looks a bit blown out, as does the left cheek and the top right of the background. There are a couple of distracting marks on her hair in line with her lips on the lower right hand side of the frame.

Going back to the framing, I feel a lot of space is wasted on the left hand side and this 'may' look better if cropped in a bit, and chop into some of the hair on the left. On the right hand side of the frame, I feel the image would work better if there was a bit more room on this side.

Some honest CC for you there, keep up the good work and you won't look back once you've got that flash

 

[Paul11]

i agree the composition looks slight off to me referring to the space on the left.

 

[ScarySquirrel]

Portraiture is not my most preferred area in photography but I'll start by telling you honestly what I like and what I don't like - whether or not this matches up with the rules of portraiture we shall see

I like your B&W conversion, the tones work well. I also like how you've captured the textures in her hair - the sharpness here is spot on for me and not overcooked. You've focused on the eye which ticks another box for me, but I feel things could be slightly sharper it's almost as if you've front-focused ever so slightly.

I don't like how the DOF has blurred her left eye, and also the far side of her cheek/jaw. For me there is too much of a contrast in sharpness between both sides of her portrait i.e. one is clearly defined and sharp while the other distracts. The area around the nose looks a bit blown out, as does the left cheek and the top right of the background. There are a couple of distracting marks on her hair in line with her lips on the lower right hand side of the frame.

Going back to the framing, I feel a lot of space is wasted on the left hand side and this 'may' look better if cropped in a bit, and chop into some of the hair on the left. On the right hand side of the frame, I feel the image would work better if there was a bit more room on this side.

Some honest CC for you there, keep up the good work and you won't look back once you've got that flash

Great C&C dude. I appreciate you going into so much detail.

I rushed the PP whilst in bed on my laptop last night (the girl in the pic was moaning at me to go to sleep) I'll revisit it later and have a play with the crop and tidying up some of the distracting marks.

As for contrast/controlling blown out bits. This is an area that I am not very good at judging, so I will have another go but will probably not make much improvement.

The focus is definitely out. I have a strange tendancy to use low (or would it be high, this always confuses me) apertures which result in a very shallow DOF. I only realise the mistake once I have it loaded up on my PC.

Thanks again.