Apple's implementation of VNC isn't great; even if you disable "delayed" ACK packets, it still ends up extremely sluggish and not particularly useable for long sessions. Even ARD between MacOS isn't brilliant.
@OspreyO - As others have said, use something like TeamViewer or xRDP. And depending on generation, you'll want a HDMI 'dummy' dongle and/or an app like SwitchRexX (there's a few around) to allow for higher resolutions and GPU acceleration.
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