Chap from up the street...how would you treat him?

Tykey

Tykey

Tykey

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Hi all you sensible and balanced people :D

There's a chap who lives on my street who in my opinion is a PITA and because of this I barely give him the time of day.

Good points - very friendly, his property is well kept, very helpful i.e. will borrow you things like tools etc

Bad points - alcoholic, if shown the slightest bit of friendliness he starts knocking at my door often for stupid reasons i.e. 1 time he knocked to ask what time it was.

I sent him an Xmas card yesterday like I have done the other neighbours and today he knocked at my door, to me he sounded like he'd had a drink, says 'did you send me a card?' then proceeds to tell me he fell over the other day (he often falls over when drunk), I say 'yep it's because you drink', he then denied he drinks, he lies about drinking himself to oblivion, and I closed the door on him.

It's Christmas time, he lives alone and I don't want to be not nice to someone especially at this time of the year. But my instinct is to be very cool with him, say 'hi' and swiftly move on if I see him when I walk my dog etc. Am I right to treat him like this?
 
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He sounds lonely - as above I'd be inclined to show compassion (which you have been) rather than dismissing him. That doesnt mean you have to start inviting him to Christmas dinner or anything, but you can at least be polite, say hellonwhen you see him. If he starts to become a nuisance and turns up at your door all them time then re-assess?

/Salsa
 
the dude is probably lonely and have a lot of time on his hands... hence the drinking, tidy house and over friendliness...

it's upto you... there's an old chap that that walks around my jog route and hangs around waiting trying to start a convo with me each time... he get's upset when I jog pass with headphones on and just waving "hi"... one of the girls that walk her dog each morning told me. Personally, it sounds bad, but it's like 7am.. I need to get this run in before my havoc of a day starts, I have to put up with enough chatter from my own dad... sorry I've not got the time.

EDIT: if you're borrowing tools of him, pay him back with a bit of kindness...
 
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Tykey said:
I sent him an Xmas card yesterday like I have done the other neighbours and today he knocked at my door, to me he sounded like he'd had a drink, says 'did you send me a card?' then proceeds to tell me he fell over the other day (he often falls over when drunk), I say 'yep it's because you drink', he then denied he drinks, he lies about drinking himself to oblivion, and I closed the door on him.
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He's clearly ashamed of his problem, so avoid it and rather be pleasant when chatting to him. He's in a place you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy so be kind and supportive where possible.
 
Fair play for telling him he fell over because he drinks.

If it is clearly impacting his life negatively and he starts a conversation with you, then giving him the truth is the right thing to do.

Maybe he'll listen and try to do something about it.
 
bainbridge said:
If it is clearly impacting his life negatively and he starts a conversation with you, then giving him the truth is the right thing to do.

Maybe he'll listen and try to do something about it.
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I disagree, it's not the OP's place to say anything. He probably gets lectures from everyone in his life already.
 
If he is knocking on your door whilst he has been on the sauce, then he is making his problem become your problem.
On that basis you were well within your rights to tell him why he fell over.
Whether he is addicted or not to alcohol, it has to be himself who wants to get help via the proper route.
Say hello when you see him as it is good to be neighbourly.
If you have a Ring doorbell then you could see who it is before answering? He will soon get fed up and leave if you don't answer. The last thing you need after a long day at work is the local drunk wasting your time.
 
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As others have said, continue being pleasant, he’s a neighbour after all and you don’t know the full story. It’s not your place to call out alcoholism unless he’s being aggressive or a genuine nuisance. It’s good that his place is well kept.

Why you borrowing his tools?
 
Tykey said:
Hi all you sensible and balanced people :D

There's a chap who lives on my street who in my opinion is a PITA and because of this I barely give him the time of day.

Good points - very friendly, his property is well kept, very helpful i.e. will borrow you things like tools etc

Bad points - alcoholic, if shown the slightest bit of friendliness he starts knocking at my door often for stupid reasons i.e. 1 time he knocked to ask what time it was.

I sent him an Xmas card yesterday like I have done the other neighbours and today he knocked at my door, to me he sounded like he'd had a drink, says 'did you send me a card?' then proceeds to tell me he fell over the other day (he often falls over when drunk), I say 'yep it's because you drink', he then denied he drinks, he lies about drinking himself to oblivion, and I closed the door on him.

It's Christmas time, he lives alone and I don't want to be not nice to someone especially at this time of the year. But my instinct is to be very cool with him, say 'hi' and swiftly move on if I see him when I walk my dog etc. Am I right to treat him like this?
Click to expand...

Is his name Boris?
 
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