Clients From Hell

RobH

RobH

RobH

Soldato
Joined
9 May 2005
Posts
4,530
Location
Nottingham
I know we have quite a few web developers, graphic designers other creative types on here and I'm sure you can all can relate to this. Even if you're not it still makes a great reading and I can easily believe that some clients can be this ignorant about the Internet and computers.

http://clientsfromhell.tumblr.com

EDIT: I meant to post this in "HTML, Graphics & Programming" but people enjoy reading it here so no worry.
 
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Thats the best quote I've seen in ages:

Client: “Optimize the fireball.”

Me: “I’m sorry? Do you mean the firewall?”

Client: “I need more hits NOW, so I need you to optimize the fireball. I know what I’m talking about!”

Me: “We’ll get right on it.”
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:D
 
“Yes but, can you make it so that if you’ve forgotten your password and you login, it immediately asks you to change your password?”
 
clients from hell?

Client [A California law firm]: “For the home page we’d like a photo of San Francisco. Lots of tall buildings, and it has to include the Golden Gate bridge.”

Me: “Sure, I can do that … but your offices aren’t in San Francisco.”

Client: “No, but we want people to think we are. It creates trust.”
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Had this site on Twitter for a while now, so many funny client situations!

Helps me deal with things when I get unreasonable/crazy requests myself.
 
It's sad that most of those are probably true. So many people are absolutely clueless.

We had a client who would email us an urgent amend to do one of the 15 or so websites we had built for him. The amend would get done and then a couple days later, we'd get a swear filled email telling us off for doing whatever amend was done.

Client: I want the logo changed to be blue text.
Us: Done.
Client a few days later: Why the **** is the ******** logo blue. You guys are morons.
Us: You asked for it to be blue.
Client: No I did not.
Us: Yes you did, I've forwarded the email to you where you told us to.
Client: Oh, well I don't like it. Change it back.

Even though he was a very lucrative client (he would actually pay for the time spent on amends and then the time undoing the amends), we dropped him shortly after.
 
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Client rang us up shouting and complaining about her emails and website being down. After 5 minuets of diagnosing she said "I did have a power cut half an hour ago, could that be it?" (the power was still off)

Another great one a few years back a clients computer BSOD'd and he rang up shouting and screaming (like his computer is our problem)

"My computer says its taking a dump (the dumping to memory message), if I want to take a dump I go to the f-ing s***er, I'm loosing millions of pounds!"

Hilarious.
 
After having delivered an eCommerce site to a client, he called me on the phone, explaining that he had experienced some problems ordering products. While on the phone, I explained to him that I would do a test order to see if I could reconstruct the problem he experienced. The ordering went fine, but suddenly he says

Client: “Wow, I got an order from you here. You want that Jacuzzi? I’d suggest [some Jacuzzi name] instead!”

Me: “As I explained to you, that was a test order. I don’t want any Jacuzzi”

Client: “Well, you ordered one, now you have to pay. I’ll just take it of your invoice.”

haha
 
Client: “We don’t need the login area. None of our customers will use that.”

Me: “OK, well it is an e-commerce store so I’m not quite sure how you’re going to get paid without being able to identify the client.”
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That's a developer problem, not customer problem - You don't need a login area for an e-commerce site.
 
Thanks for emailing me the PDF. Can you please resend it to me at 100% and not at 147%.
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Lol, I have actually been asked that question before :) Guess it's kinda legit though as you can specifify the initial zoom level on pdf.


I will have to look at it tomorrow - I have already unplugged my computer for the day.
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lul :)

Another reply from a client that made me lol when they asked me to add an email address to a domain for them:

Black magic!
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I wish a was a web developer rather than a web designer. Much better working on stuff the client never lays his/hers damned eyes on.

As l always say clients are like Hollywood; most of the time they will find the way to screw things up.
 
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