Soldato
- Joined
- 2 Apr 2006
- Posts
- 3,741
Control Tower Conversations
- Thread starter kinetic747
- Start date
kinetic747 said:
Is it that day of the week already?
- Joined
- 2 Apr 2006
- Posts
- 3,741
What day would that be?
Some similar ones - Both about the best aircraft ever produced - the SR-71 Blackbird
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(For those that don't know, "The Sled" is the SR-71 Blackbird spy plane from the 60's. )
In his book, Sled Driver, SR-71 Blackbird pilot Brian Shul writes: "I'll always remember a certain radio exchange that occurred one day as Walt (my back-seater) and I were screaming across Southern California 13 miles high.
We were monitoring various radio transmissions from other aircraft as we entered Los Angeles airspace. Though they didn't really control us, they did monitor our movement across their scope.
I heard a Cessna ask for a readout of its ground speed."90 knots" Center replied.
Moments later, a Twin Beech required the same. "120 knots," Center answered.
We weren't the only ones proud of our ground speed that day as almost instantly an F-18 smugly transmitted, "Ah, Center, Dusty
52 requests ground speed readout."
There was a slight pause, then the response, "525 knots on the ground, Dusty."
Another silent pause. As I was thinking to myself how ripe a situation this was, I heard a familiar click of a radio transmission coming from my back-seater.
It was at that precise moment I realized Walt and I had become a real crew, for we were both thinking in unison. "Center, Aspen 20, you got a ground speed readout for us?"
There was a longer than normal pause. "Aspen, I show 1,742 knots"
No further inquiries were heard on that frequency.
****************
****************
In another famous SR-71 story, Los Angeles Center reported receiving a request for clearance to FL 60 (60,000ft).
The controller replied "Sure, if you can get to it, it's yours."
The pilot then said "Thanks, Hubu flight xx descending to FL 60.
****************
****************
(For those that don't know, "The Sled" is the SR-71 Blackbird spy plane from the 60's. )
In his book, Sled Driver, SR-71 Blackbird pilot Brian Shul writes: "I'll always remember a certain radio exchange that occurred one day as Walt (my back-seater) and I were screaming across Southern California 13 miles high.
We were monitoring various radio transmissions from other aircraft as we entered Los Angeles airspace. Though they didn't really control us, they did monitor our movement across their scope.
I heard a Cessna ask for a readout of its ground speed."90 knots" Center replied.
Moments later, a Twin Beech required the same. "120 knots," Center answered.
We weren't the only ones proud of our ground speed that day as almost instantly an F-18 smugly transmitted, "Ah, Center, Dusty
52 requests ground speed readout."
There was a slight pause, then the response, "525 knots on the ground, Dusty."
Another silent pause. As I was thinking to myself how ripe a situation this was, I heard a familiar click of a radio transmission coming from my back-seater.
It was at that precise moment I realized Walt and I had become a real crew, for we were both thinking in unison. "Center, Aspen 20, you got a ground speed readout for us?"
There was a longer than normal pause. "Aspen, I show 1,742 knots"
No further inquiries were heard on that frequency.
****************
****************
In another famous SR-71 story, Los Angeles Center reported receiving a request for clearance to FL 60 (60,000ft).
The controller replied "Sure, if you can get to it, it's yours."
The pilot then said "Thanks, Hubu flight xx descending to FL 60.
Man of Honour
Flibster said:
Hahaha. Brilliant
Another Blackbird one.
A friend knew someone who used to work as a cleaner at RAF Mildenhall (where UK based Blackbirds flew from).
One time she was cleaning up and bumped into a couple of Blackbird crew waiting for a briefing.
"Where are you guys going today?"
"Oh, just over northern Russia."
4 hours later she bumped into the same guys.
"Are you still waiting? When do you take off?"
"Take off? We got back an hour ago!!"
******************************
******************************
I have heard tell of another amusing SR-71 story, but I can't find confirmation anywhere - unless someone out there knows better...?
Anyway, the story (true or otherwise) goes that the first flight of the SR to RAF Mildenhall from Beale AFB went slightly wrong.
While flying along at Mach 3, roughly 1nm every two seconds, the crew missed the TOD (top of descent point) by about 90 seconds.
Unfortunately, they had completely overshot the entire United Kingdom and had to do a U-turn somewhere over the North Sea!
The (un)official story says that the aircraft penetrated German airspace before being able to turn around...
******************************
******************************
Another amusing SR-71 story - this time from "Blackbird Rising" by Donn A. Byrnes and Kenneth D. Hurley. Late in 1965 or early in 1966, the third SR built ('952 for those who are interested) was undertaking some high-altitude, high-speed testing over New Mexico.
During a turn, the inner engine inlet "unstarted" increasing the bank angle beyond the point at which recovery was possible. The SR then split into two parts just ahead of the wing.
Although ejector seats were fitted, both occupants were unconcious and unable to eject: one survived when he was thrown clear of the aircraft, sadly the rear-seat occupant died.
Many thousands of feet below the stricken SR-71, a number of commercial aircraft were flying. The radio comments apparently went something like this:
A/C: "Albuquerque Centre! Albuquerque Centre! This is XXXX. There has been a huge explosion out here at an altitude way above us."
There was a long pause and then a tense but controlled voice from Albuquerque Centre came on the air, "Ah, XXXX, please disregard."
A/C: "Albuquerque Centre, you don't understand. It's a big explosion and there are parachutes and debris falling."
Another long pause before Centre replied, "Ah, Roger XXXX, please disregard."
A/C: "Albuquerque, there is something bad happening and you better get someone out here immediately."
Yet another long pause, then "Ah, XXXX, this is Albuquerque Centre, please disregard."
After a long pause, another aircraft reported: "Albuquerque Centre, this is YYYY. We didn't see it too."
A friend knew someone who used to work as a cleaner at RAF Mildenhall (where UK based Blackbirds flew from).
One time she was cleaning up and bumped into a couple of Blackbird crew waiting for a briefing.
"Where are you guys going today?"
"Oh, just over northern Russia."
4 hours later she bumped into the same guys.
"Are you still waiting? When do you take off?"
"Take off? We got back an hour ago!!"
******************************
******************************
I have heard tell of another amusing SR-71 story, but I can't find confirmation anywhere - unless someone out there knows better...?
Anyway, the story (true or otherwise) goes that the first flight of the SR to RAF Mildenhall from Beale AFB went slightly wrong.
While flying along at Mach 3, roughly 1nm every two seconds, the crew missed the TOD (top of descent point) by about 90 seconds.
Unfortunately, they had completely overshot the entire United Kingdom and had to do a U-turn somewhere over the North Sea!
The (un)official story says that the aircraft penetrated German airspace before being able to turn around...
******************************
******************************
Another amusing SR-71 story - this time from "Blackbird Rising" by Donn A. Byrnes and Kenneth D. Hurley. Late in 1965 or early in 1966, the third SR built ('952 for those who are interested) was undertaking some high-altitude, high-speed testing over New Mexico.
During a turn, the inner engine inlet "unstarted" increasing the bank angle beyond the point at which recovery was possible. The SR then split into two parts just ahead of the wing.
Although ejector seats were fitted, both occupants were unconcious and unable to eject: one survived when he was thrown clear of the aircraft, sadly the rear-seat occupant died.
Many thousands of feet below the stricken SR-71, a number of commercial aircraft were flying. The radio comments apparently went something like this:
A/C: "Albuquerque Centre! Albuquerque Centre! This is XXXX. There has been a huge explosion out here at an altitude way above us."
There was a long pause and then a tense but controlled voice from Albuquerque Centre came on the air, "Ah, XXXX, please disregard."
A/C: "Albuquerque Centre, you don't understand. It's a big explosion and there are parachutes and debris falling."
Another long pause before Centre replied, "Ah, Roger XXXX, please disregard."
A/C: "Albuquerque, there is something bad happening and you better get someone out here immediately."
Yet another long pause, then "Ah, XXXX, this is Albuquerque Centre, please disregard."
After a long pause, another aircraft reported: "Albuquerque Centre, this is YYYY. We didn't see it too."
Last edited:
FL60 = 6,000ft
FL600 = 60,000ft
I've heard quite a few gems in my time, some of which aren't repeatable on here. One recent one had me in stitches
I was working the London TMA North East Dpeartures sector with my instructor listening in. I was relatively new to working on live traffic and was still getting used to the RT procedures. A British Midland Airbus A320 got airborne off Heathrow on its way to Amsterdam, it's callsign was BMA6XC 'Midland six x-ray charlie'. It checked in as follows...
"London Control, Midland six x-ray charlie passing two thousand four hundred for six thousand on a brookmans park five juliet departure"
"Midland sex icks-ray charlie.....err correction, midland six x-ray charlie, squawk ident, after passing four thousand feet fly radar heading zero one five"
"Ideant, after passing four thousand, heading zero one five, midland six x-ray charlie"
A few minutes pass while the aircraft passes under inbound traffic until I can give it further climb.
"Midland sex icks-ray...correction, Midland six x-ray charlie climb flight level one five zero"
"Climb flight level one five zero, midland six -xray charlie"
Another minute or two passes while I talk to numerous othe aircraft.
"Midland sex icks ray chaa...correction, midland six x-ray charlie, turn right heading zero eight five"
"Right heading zero eight five, midland SIX X-RAY charlie....you're bloody sex on the brain aren't you!?"
I had to get someone to take over because I was bent over laughing. It was the way he said it
FL600 = 60,000ft
I've heard quite a few gems in my time, some of which aren't repeatable on here. One recent one had me in stitches
I was working the London TMA North East Dpeartures sector with my instructor listening in. I was relatively new to working on live traffic and was still getting used to the RT procedures. A British Midland Airbus A320 got airborne off Heathrow on its way to Amsterdam, it's callsign was BMA6XC 'Midland six x-ray charlie'. It checked in as follows...
"London Control, Midland six x-ray charlie passing two thousand four hundred for six thousand on a brookmans park five juliet departure"
"Midland sex icks-ray charlie.....err correction, midland six x-ray charlie, squawk ident, after passing four thousand feet fly radar heading zero one five"
"Ideant, after passing four thousand, heading zero one five, midland six x-ray charlie"
A few minutes pass while the aircraft passes under inbound traffic until I can give it further climb.
"Midland sex icks-ray...correction, Midland six x-ray charlie climb flight level one five zero"
"Climb flight level one five zero, midland six -xray charlie"
Another minute or two passes while I talk to numerous othe aircraft.
"Midland sex icks ray chaa...correction, midland six x-ray charlie, turn right heading zero eight five"
"Right heading zero eight five, midland SIX X-RAY charlie....you're bloody sex on the brain aren't you!?"
I had to get someone to take over because I was bent over laughing. It was the way he said it
Soldato
Scuzi said:FL60 = 6,000ft
FL600 = 60,000ft
I've heard quite a few gems in my time, some of which aren't repeatable on here. One recent one had me in stitches
I was working the London TMA North East Dpeartures sector with my instructor listening in. I was relatively new to working on live traffic and was still getting used to the RT procedures. A British Midland Airbus A320 got airborne off Heathrow on its way to Amsterdam, it's callsign was BMA6XC 'Midland six x-ray charlie'. It checked in as follows...
"London Control, Midland six x-ray charlie passing two thousand four hundred for six thousand on a brookmans park five juliet departure"
"Midland sex icks-ray charlie.....err correction, midland six x-ray charlie, squawk ident, after passing four thousand feet fly radar heading zero one five"
"Ideant, after passing four thousand, heading zero one five, midland six x-ray charlie"
A few minutes pass while the aircraft passes under inbound traffic until I can give it further climb.
"Midland sex icks-ray...correction, Midland six x-ray charlie climb flight level one five zero"
"Climb flight level one five zero, midland six -xray charlie"
Another minute or two passes while I talk to numerous othe aircraft.
"Midland sex icks ray chaa...correction, midland six x-ray charlie, turn right heading zero eight five"
"Right heading zero eight five, midland SIX X-RAY charlie....you're bloody sex on the brain aren't you!?"
I had to get someone to take over because I was bent over laughing. It was the way he said it
that one had me laughing to no end.
Soldato
Flibster said:
.Everykinetic747 said:
.
Last edited:
TOWER: "XYZ123 (Shorts 330, Female pilot) clear to land 34"
XYZ123:"roger,clear to land"
TOWER:"ABC987 (budgie visual approach) report final number 2 to a Shorts 330"
ABC987:"OK when the Lady's got her shorts down we'll slide in behind"
******************
******************
The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport were a short-tempered lot. They not only expected you to know your parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (PanAm 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways 747 (radio call Speedbird 206) after landing.
Speedbird 206: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active."
Ground: "Guten morgan, taxi to your gate."
The British Airways 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, ground, I'm looking up the gate location now."
Ground (with typical German impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you never flown to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, in 1944. But I didn't stop."
******************
******************
"Unidentified airfield with C152 circling overhead, identify yourself"
Allegedly heard on Guard
******************
******************
Some years ago at Gatwick several aircraft have started but, for whatever reason, there is a delay in issuing any taxy clearances.
Eventually a Luftie is given taxy, before the pilot can acknowledge a very clipped British accent is heard proclaiming that BA*** had started first and demanding to know why they had'nt been given clearance first.
This time before the Controller can reply the Luftie Capt. says " because ve ver up very early zis morning und put our towels on zer runway first!"
******************
******************
From a Gutersloh contoller:
A Tornado suffers birdstrike on landing.
Pilot "I think I suffered a birdstrike. Did you see where it hit?"
Controller "Just below the beak but I think its alright.
******************
******************
A harrier lands from a pan with total hydraulics failure:
Tower: Do you need any assistance?
Harrier: Well a tow bar and crash crews would be nice!!
******************
******************
Lady controller to American who's just fouled up his taxi clearance: "ABC, you've just completely messed up your clearance. Stay where you are and don't move until I get this situation sorted out. You've held up all the aircraft on this field. I don't know how I'm going to get this cleared up. The delays could run into hours. JUST HOLD YOUR POSITION!!!"
ABC: ".... silence ...."
LC: "ABC, DID YOU COPY?"
ABC: "Sorry ma'am, but you sound just like my wife, and when she starts talking, I stop listening."
******************
******************
Two radar controllers side by side, one male, one female, working the sequence.
M: (Wanting an early turn for his traffic) "Can I turn hard right inside your Shorts?"
F: "You'll have to buy me dinner first!"
******************
******************
Lady Pilot in the FIR: London, whats the regional QNH?
FIR Controller: XXX Mb.
LPIFIR: What's that in inches? I've got an
amercan altimeter!
FIR: 29.23 inches.
Voice from the Blue: Gosh! You'd better give her that
SLOWLY London!
******************
******************
ATC to a fighter jet displaying at an airshow:
"fastjet XXX, be advised, there's smoke coming from the back of your aircra .... ah, disregard, I see you've already ejected"
******************
******************
A busy London sector:
"London good morning Lufthansa 443, level 240 request 280"
"Lufthansa 443 morning to you, maintain 240"
"Maintain 240 Lufthansa 443"
A couple of minutes later
"London, Lufthansa 443, request climb to 280"
"Lufthansa 443 maintain 240"
"Maintain 240 Lufthansa 443"
Shortly after
"London Lufthansa 443 request climb 280"
"Lufthansa 443, negative maintain 240"
"London Lufthansa 443 we are on a long sector we need to climb now to 280 or we wont make it to the destination due to the rate of fuel burn at this level"
"Lufthansa 443 if you climb now you wont make due to collision"
******************
******************
Exchange on VHF channel between US carrier and smaller British carrier
US CVN "Morning, hows the second biggest navy in the world today"
RN CV "Fine thanks, hows the second best?"
******************
******************
TOWER: "PA28 G-XXXX cleared to land 04 Hard."
G-XXXX: "Cleared to land 04 Hard G-XXXX."
TOWER: "Helicopter G-YYYY cleared to land 04 Grass and watch for inbound PA28 on finals."
ME: "Clear land 04 Grass - looking."
TOWER: "He's behind you."
SOME WAG ON FREQUENCY: "Oh no he's not..."
ANOTHER WAG ON FREQUENCY: "Oh yes he is..."
******************
******************
Old story from a RAF C-130 on a flag-stop at Dulles, Washington.
C-130 calls for start-up at same time as Speedbird 123(BA Concorde). Both given clearance and C-130 starts very quickly and asks for taxy clearance which he gets. C-130 then reverse taxis off stand and proceeds to pass the pride of BA with the witty RT comment -
"Speedbird 123 this is ASCOT 1234 - race you to the holding point!". Smug faces all round on the C-130 flight deck.
20 minutes later on the slow climb-out the C-130 crew hear the call "ASCOT 1234 this is Speedbird 123 - race you to Lands End!"
******************
******************
A PAN AM 747 suffers and engine failure on rotation at LHR
PILOT: Err ah Clipper 123 we are going to continue straight ahead runway heading and dump some gas.
CONTROLLER: Are you aware sir that you current heading takes you over Windsor Castle where her Majesty is currently in residence.
PILOT: (quick as a flash) Ask her majesty does she just want the gas or the aeroplane and the gas.
XYZ123:"roger,clear to land"
TOWER:"ABC987 (budgie visual approach) report final number 2 to a Shorts 330"
ABC987:"OK when the Lady's got her shorts down we'll slide in behind"
******************
******************
The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport were a short-tempered lot. They not only expected you to know your parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (PanAm 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways 747 (radio call Speedbird 206) after landing.
Speedbird 206: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active."
Ground: "Guten morgan, taxi to your gate."
The British Airways 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, ground, I'm looking up the gate location now."
Ground (with typical German impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you never flown to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, in 1944. But I didn't stop."
******************
******************
"Unidentified airfield with C152 circling overhead, identify yourself"
Allegedly heard on Guard
******************
******************
Some years ago at Gatwick several aircraft have started but, for whatever reason, there is a delay in issuing any taxy clearances.
Eventually a Luftie is given taxy, before the pilot can acknowledge a very clipped British accent is heard proclaiming that BA*** had started first and demanding to know why they had'nt been given clearance first.
This time before the Controller can reply the Luftie Capt. says " because ve ver up very early zis morning und put our towels on zer runway first!"
******************
******************
From a Gutersloh contoller:
A Tornado suffers birdstrike on landing.
Pilot "I think I suffered a birdstrike. Did you see where it hit?"
Controller "Just below the beak but I think its alright.
******************
******************
A harrier lands from a pan with total hydraulics failure:
Tower: Do you need any assistance?
Harrier: Well a tow bar and crash crews would be nice!!
******************
******************
Lady controller to American who's just fouled up his taxi clearance: "ABC, you've just completely messed up your clearance. Stay where you are and don't move until I get this situation sorted out. You've held up all the aircraft on this field. I don't know how I'm going to get this cleared up. The delays could run into hours. JUST HOLD YOUR POSITION!!!"
ABC: ".... silence ...."
LC: "ABC, DID YOU COPY?"
ABC: "Sorry ma'am, but you sound just like my wife, and when she starts talking, I stop listening."
******************
******************
Two radar controllers side by side, one male, one female, working the sequence.
M: (Wanting an early turn for his traffic) "Can I turn hard right inside your Shorts?"
F: "You'll have to buy me dinner first!"
******************
******************
Lady Pilot in the FIR: London, whats the regional QNH?
FIR Controller: XXX Mb.
LPIFIR: What's that in inches? I've got an
amercan altimeter!
FIR: 29.23 inches.
Voice from the Blue: Gosh! You'd better give her that
SLOWLY London!
******************
******************
ATC to a fighter jet displaying at an airshow:
"fastjet XXX, be advised, there's smoke coming from the back of your aircra .... ah, disregard, I see you've already ejected"
******************
******************
A busy London sector:
"London good morning Lufthansa 443, level 240 request 280"
"Lufthansa 443 morning to you, maintain 240"
"Maintain 240 Lufthansa 443"
A couple of minutes later
"London, Lufthansa 443, request climb to 280"
"Lufthansa 443 maintain 240"
"Maintain 240 Lufthansa 443"
Shortly after
"London Lufthansa 443 request climb 280"
"Lufthansa 443, negative maintain 240"
"London Lufthansa 443 we are on a long sector we need to climb now to 280 or we wont make it to the destination due to the rate of fuel burn at this level"
"Lufthansa 443 if you climb now you wont make due to collision"
******************
******************
Exchange on VHF channel between US carrier and smaller British carrier
US CVN "Morning, hows the second biggest navy in the world today"
RN CV "Fine thanks, hows the second best?"
******************
******************
TOWER: "PA28 G-XXXX cleared to land 04 Hard."
G-XXXX: "Cleared to land 04 Hard G-XXXX."
TOWER: "Helicopter G-YYYY cleared to land 04 Grass and watch for inbound PA28 on finals."
ME: "Clear land 04 Grass - looking."
TOWER: "He's behind you."
SOME WAG ON FREQUENCY: "Oh no he's not..."
ANOTHER WAG ON FREQUENCY: "Oh yes he is..."
******************
******************
Old story from a RAF C-130 on a flag-stop at Dulles, Washington.
C-130 calls for start-up at same time as Speedbird 123(BA Concorde). Both given clearance and C-130 starts very quickly and asks for taxy clearance which he gets. C-130 then reverse taxis off stand and proceeds to pass the pride of BA with the witty RT comment -
"Speedbird 123 this is ASCOT 1234 - race you to the holding point!". Smug faces all round on the C-130 flight deck.
20 minutes later on the slow climb-out the C-130 crew hear the call "ASCOT 1234 this is Speedbird 123 - race you to Lands End!"
******************
******************
A PAN AM 747 suffers and engine failure on rotation at LHR
PILOT: Err ah Clipper 123 we are going to continue straight ahead runway heading and dump some gas.
CONTROLLER: Are you aware sir that you current heading takes you over Windsor Castle where her Majesty is currently in residence.
PILOT: (quick as a flash) Ask her majesty does she just want the gas or the aeroplane and the gas.
Commissario
Exactly what I was thinking as I read it!Scuzi said:
Many years ago, early 80's I think it might have been I remember listening to my scanner at the North Weald as a Lightning departed after it's display.
The conversation was something like:
"xxx level at two thousand requesting climb to ten thousand"
"Roger, cleared to climb to ten thousand, report when at that level"
"Thank you, leaving two thousand [slight pause] aaaaaaaand arriving at ten thousand feet"
Fantastic aircraft, amazing rate of climb.
K.
Just reminded me of some inter sector co-ordination with my colleagues. Common ones are...
"Can I come down on top of your virgin?"
"I'm going to go up the backside of this Lithuanian"
Calling Heathrow approach to find out what they're doing with traffic in the holding stacks, especially when its busy..
"Are you going to bring off that Virgin? If so I'm going to slide in from the rear with my jumbo"
"I'm going down on the Scandanavian!!"
Morale is usually high.
"Can I come down on top of your virgin?"
"I'm going to go up the backside of this Lithuanian"
Calling Heathrow approach to find out what they're doing with traffic in the holding stacks, especially when its busy..
"Are you going to bring off that Virgin? If so I'm going to slide in from the rear with my jumbo"
"I'm going down on the Scandanavian!!"
Morale is usually high.
Associate
The Blackbird ones are particularly good. 
Nazbit said:Some of these are legendary
Guessing from the above that you haven't seen the Pilots reports and the mechanics replies?