Cover letter check

[Nazca]

I'm applying for a training contract at a Chartered accountant practice. Could some kind soul please critique my cover letter. This is my first attempt ever at writing a cover letter. So, it probably needs a lot of improvement.

Thanks

 

[Nazca]

tl;dr

"I am writing to apply" to "I wish to apply"

it's a given that you are writing

Ok, I'll change that , thanks.

...and do you have a space after the full stops? it looks a bit crammed

Yeah it does looked crammed. There are spaces after every full stop. I'm worried the employer will think there's too much to read. They still have to read my CV, which is less than two pages.

How long did it take you to read the letter?

 

[Nazca]

Anyone else able to give their input? Would be much appreciated!

 

[Nazca]

Do you really want to emphasise how many doors it will open for you? Or at least in that particular way as it could read as if you are itching to go elsewhere before you've even started.

I didn't write that as an intent to leave after training, but to show how versatile chartered accountancy is. I guess it may sound like I want to move on. Reckon I should write something like,

"Chartered accountancy is a diverse, versatile career which can be applied to many businesses and industries across the world." ?

Have you considered condensing it but keeping the general feel the same?

I feel that all the stuff is relevant, but I would like to simplify it. I just don't want to take anything out of it which may be important. I'll try and condense it.

When I wrote it, I wanted to structure it in three main paragraphs:

Why I'm applying to the company
Why do I want to do the role
What can I bring to the business.

Do you think it's a good idea to move the entire third paragraph and place it on the head of the CV as a summary?

Thanks for the suggestions.

 

[Nazca]

I've removed the "open doors" sentence. I agree that it does sound that I want to head off.

I've moved the entire third paragraph onto the head of the CV, which also contains my experiences, so I wouldn't think it's necessary to include "I did this/that" on my cover letter, since they'll see it on the CV?

In regards to how I'll benefit them, wouldn't my skillset (third para on the original cover letter) suffice?

 

[Nazca]

Are you disguising their name, or are you not aware of it? It's always better to find the name of the person who's reading it. Failing that, get the name of the head of HR or any senior manager.

I'm disguising the name of the company. I'll give the company a ring tomorrow to find out who may be reading it.

Everything after - subject immensely - can be dropped, it's CV stuff.

When I was shadowing the accountant, he said that on my cover letter I should mention how I came to the decision.

You ought to give at least an example of how you are highly motivated/enterprising. This would then allow you to flow onto the next part by saying something like "because of this, I have shown myself to show great self-management and I am able to prioritize my work in an organized fashion in order to excel both in a team and working independently."

The whole point from a cover letter is to show them that you can do what you say, not just to say you can do it. You need to back it up with evidence.

I'll place an example of one of the more significant things I've done in the letter.

My CV was going to be appended onto this letter so they could see what I've done.

Thanks for your input