Cracking a walnut between your buttocks

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Skull

Skull

Skull

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Now, I've just tried this, and its extremely difficult - I failed. However, I'm confident that by the time I have reached a 400lb squat, I will be able to crush these nuts with judicious confidence, just like Jean Claude van damme.

Given that its the holiday season and many people will have walnuts littering their homes and bedlinen, why don't you give it a go? I know as its the internet most people in GD would be strong enough to crack a walnut by simply flexing their biceps, but if you could tell the truth so that the true achievement of those with exceptional buttockular strength can be properly appreciated that'd be great.
 
Eating the ass nuts is a non-issue because no one seems to be physically able to crack them open...

One day though!
 
Imagine trying to attempt this feat, repeatedly and ending up getting the walnut stuck up your backside. You would then need to go to the A+E dept and explain why you have a walnut stuck deep inside you. :D

Also, can you enlighten us on the "Jean Claude Van Damme" part of your post?
 
http://www.abc.net.au/hobart/stories/s740766.htm

Now like most of us I'm no more than a social participant in casual sodomy, but I've learned that if a dry, woody walnut was to attempt entry to one's "rear", unless there was a significant amount of lubrication or a "cavernous sphincter" (or both) the immediate pain would stop the buttock-clenching immediately.

Currently, I'm trying to work out which region of the buttocks has the most crushing power - and so far research indicates that location may not be sufficiently proximate to the "waste disposal chute" and so the risks are low.

Technique could prove to be a major factor, beyond raw strength.
 
Is this a party piece in the making?

You practising for a mates new years eve party? "Hey lads check this out"


Just make sure your crack is waxed before "cracking"

:D
 
I can't believe none of you have ever heard of cracking walnuts between your buttocks. I thought it was an incredibly common phrase.
Stop exclusively reading the sports pages and open your eyes to the world!
 
OK. So obviously walnut cracking in the buttocks is quite a common practise.

Q1. Can you enlighten us on what happens to the resulting walnut, after it is cracked between the buttocks?

Q2. After one has mastered the art of cracking the walnut between the buttocks, does the one move upto a new level - say, cracking other items or nuts between the buttocks? If so, what is the highest level that one can reach?

Q3. Has this art resulted in any practical application?

Q4. Has anyone been arrested while attempting to partake in this activity?
 
I'm afraid I can only answer question 4, with a "probably not"!

The others one could only answer having cracked the nut themselves!
 
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