Critisise your team...

[BoomAM]

Your tasks for this thread:

Critisise your teams captain.
Critisise your teams most valuable player.
Critisise your manager.
Critisise the teams directors.
Critisise your team as a whole.

Should be interesting...

-------------------------------
-------------------------------
AC Milan

Critisise your teams captain.
Paolo Maldini:
The only thing i can honestly think of is his age.

Critisise your teams most valuable player.
Andriy Shevchenko:
He's nearing 30.

Critisise your manager.
Carlo Ancelotti:
Bad tactical decisions. Some questionable substitutions at the wrong times.

Critisise the teams transfer guru.
Adriano Galliani:
Doesnt recognise what the team actually needs in regards to players. With so many rumors of strikers being bought in the summer, and his refusal to admit we need defenders.

Critisise your team as a whole.
Lazyness at times.
The symptons known as 'La Coruña syndrome'. Where the team just 'switches off'.
The fact that they get complacent sometimes.
Bad defending this season.


You lot now.

 

[homerio]

Woking

Critisise your teams captain.
Neil Smith:
He has hte most amazing presence on the pitch, similar to Stuart Pearce with his passion, though his pace lets him down a bit now and he can't really last an entire game.

Critisise your teams most valuable player.
Ian Selley:
I have no idea how he doesn't get sent off very often. His tackles are awesome, his fouls are even more awesome.

Critisise your manager.
Glen Cockerill:
Attracts some fantastic players with his budget, could be friendlier to the fans, though thats more a problem with the club.

Critisise the teams directors.
Chairman Chris Ingram:
Nothing bad can ever be said about this man. He saved the club from going under and puts around £600k of his own money into the club every season to keep it afloat. He's made plans to build a hotel and facilities at the club to make it self sustainable before he steps down as chairman but keeps the controlling stake in the company that runs the club to make sure it is run properly.

Critisise your team as a whole.
Complacent against small teams.
Can resort to hoofball sometimes instead of passing it around.
Some players can get lazy or petulant if they think they are bigger than the club.

 

[Gilly]

Captain: Paul Butler

Old and slow. Takes half an hour to turn around. Just like a supertanker.

MVP: Not sure, probably Hulse or Healy

Hulse Injury prone
Healy Too inconsistent

Manager: Kevin Blackwell

Says the wrong thing at the wrong time quite often. He's usually right, but some things you can't say to the press, but he does anyway.

Directors: Think everyone knows Papa Smurf

Prices of tickets at home games are the same as when we were in the Prem. Most of the concessions have been done away with, meaning there's less younger folk going to the games. The crowd numbers are a long way down on last year, but I'm not surprised. Why should people pay the same price (in fact more) to see the likes of Crewe, QPR, Brighton and Derby as Chelsea, Barcelona, AC Milan, Real Madrid?

Whole team

Inconcistent. On paper Leeds have the 2nd best team in the Championship, if not the best. Reading have punched above their weight this season and been outstanding and I don't want to take anything away from them, but there's not a big difference on paper between their personnel and ours. The difference has been their consistency.

 

[elroberto]

Man Utd

Critisise your teams captain.

Citizen Neville
Past his best, Bardsley will get in ahead of him next year

Critisise your teams most valuable player.

Don't pout if you don't get picked for one game, Ruud. Just concentrate on getting as many goals as you can until the end of the season, then we'll get a coach who appreciates your ability.

Critisise your manager.

Lost his marbles sometime last year and needs replacing in the summer, Guus Hiddink will do nicely.

Critisise the teams directors.

Bunch of spineless sellouts, they did help pay for my christmas though.

Critisise your team as a whole.

What's gone wrong. I honestly believe when everyone's fit, we've got the best 11 in the country. Too many overrated nearly men filling up the squad and being unable to do the job. The old guard carried them for far too long and now nearly all of them are gone. What I wouldn't give for some good Central Midfielders...and a fit Heinze.

 

[mcdermos]

Criticise your teams captain.
He's a dominating presense in the midfield, sometimes it seems like he's trying too hard. Has a habit of launching long raking balls too much.

Criticise your teams most valuable player.
As above

Criticise your manager.
Sometimes fans get the distinct impression that we don't push hard enough for goals. That not conceding is more important than creating chances. Like all managers he has his favourite players.

Criticise the teams directors.
They're involved in a conspiracy with the FA.

Criticise your team as a whole.
Just put the damn ball in the net!! We're sometimes boring to watch.

 

[Gooner14]

Arsenal

Team Captain: Thierry Henry
Not a Captain. Lacks leadership skills and can't motivate others around him.

Most Valuable Player: Thierry Henry
Doesn't like Jose Reyes.

Manager
A difficult one. Has done an amazing job, and his net spend is expectionally low. However he doesn't make substitutions early another, and won't drop Gilberto.

Club Directors
This is actually very hard. They are buiding one of the finest stadiums in this country. However the Chairmen (Peter Hill-Wood) is a bumbling old tool

Whole Team
Thats a whole other thread.

 

[Vandle]

Critisise your teams captain.
Alan Shearer
Scored more goals than anyone for the club , gives his all in every game , loyal , strong , brave and a local boy.
He is giving his testimonial money to local charities and the man is peerless.
However , for all his apparent niceties he has a nasty streak running through him a mile wide.
Its widely reported he has a clause in his contract that constantly makes the clubs highest player , which has alledgely caused problems in the past when trying to sign stars with large wage demands.
He holds far to much power and influence at the club too , he even sat on the interview pannel after Robson was sacked and we were interviewing new managers!
How much of this is his own doing and how much the directors are responsible for is debateable though.
He is greedy and self obsessed but I dont think you can get to where he is today without that single mindedness.
I would hate to see where the clubs fortunes would lie now without him giving 10 years of impeccible service.
I love him.

Critisise your teams most valuable player.
Arguablely Michael Owen.
Liverpool fans always say he is Englands Michael Owen and Im starting to realise this now.
Yes , we werent his first choice and yes we paid over the odds for him but he has almost has a goal per game ratio of 1:1.
I was pleased when we signed him but couldnt help thinking the money could have been spent better else where in the team.
Having said that , he could be the difference between a mid table and a top 4 side.

Critisise your manager.
We havent got one!
Glenn Roeder , Gallowgate legend in the 80's has done a great job since he has come in.
The team is playing as a team with wingers , tactics , passing and everything!
5 games unbeaten since he took over and only 1 goal conceded.
Hard to critisise that really.

Critisise the teams directors.
Freddy Shepherd is a fat , greedy , obnoxious , cretinous , fat , stupid , greedy , fat , stupid man.
Some of his top level descion making is absurd and the timing of these actions even more so.
He exploits the supporters as a cash cow and is milking us for all he can.
He is the root cause of the troubles at the club.

Critisise your team as a whole.
Hard to at the moment.
We have a lot of injuries and we are unbeaten since Souness left.
On the whole we have massivley underachieved.
With the fanbase , money spent and players bought we should not be potless after all these years.

 

[HumanShield]

Wolves

Critisise your teams captain.

Paul Ince. Yes, you are a legend. No, you arent 25 any more. Stop pretending. Too many niggles and injuries will take its toll, and while we struggle without someone leading in midfield, we wont buy anyone until you arent an option!

Critisise your teams most valuable player.

Unsure who to pick here, while Miller technically is our most expensive player, i'll go for Joleon Lescott.
This guy has unbelievable talent, and few would argue that he is one of the top central defenders outside the prem. However, over the last few weeks, mistakes have started to happen, during the most important time of the season. He needs to concentrate on the game a little more. Also, I can see him leaving for a prem club soon enough.

Critisise your manager.
MR Hoddle. Seems to think that we have no problems in midfield and that buying strikers will solve all our problems. Whats the point of buying strikers if they dont get much service! Plus, your purchases (well, Frankowski) appear to be a little Rushed. What happened to Rasiak? we desperately wanted him in summer, he becomes available, and we buy an ageing guy from the spanish second division!

Also, dont loan out players who are proven at this level. Keith Lowe played excellently at Burnley for 6 months in defence, why try and get rid of him on loan when we have Jody Craddock in the team!

Critisise the teams directors.
Nothing to say apart from have some balls and back the manager a bit more. Sir Jack is trying to get out of the club due to his age, so his son is running the place with no backing. Secondly, please please get rid of Jez Moxey.

Critisise your team as a whole.

3 wins in a row? very hard to do so at the moment. Will take a leafd outta Gillys book and say inconsistency is our problem. We should be up in the top 4, but some stupid results have meant we arent even in the playoffs yet

 

[Matallica]

Man Utd - buy 2 class centre midfielders (DMF and AMF)

 

[MR_Punk]

Arsenal

Critisise your teams captain.
Theirry Henry:
He doesnt have the leadership skills of a great captain. His head goes down far too quickly and he isnt there to motivate his players.

Critisise your teams most valuable player.
Thierry Henry:
Will he sign on will he leave will he sign on will he leave!!!!

Critisise your manager.
Arsene Wenger:
A really hard one to criticise when you think how much he's achieved with so little money. Sometimes he picks the wrong team for the wrong match but Id wouldnt want anybody else in charge!

Critisise the teams transfers.
Maybe Arsene could be buying more experienced players and not relying on youth all the time.

Critisise your team as a whole.
Not enough leaders in the team, wheres the shouting from. Wheres the backbone. Theres no passion this season - defeatism has set in and it needs to be shaken off very quickly if this team is going to stay at the Top level eg Top 4.

 

[JohnnyG]

Criticise your teams captain:
John Terry, not the quickest & likes the odd extra marital affair.

Criticise your teams most valuable player:
Frank Lampard, bit fat.

Criticise your manager:
Jose Mourinho, lacks a bit of grace at times.

Criticise the teams directors:
Have only just learnt that they have to abide by the laws more than anyone else now as every other team & the media is out to get them.

Criticise your team as a whole:
Don't get enough goals from the strikers especially in very tight European games.

 

[Tru]

Neil Lennon
Getting on a bit and was never the fastest player I've ever seen. He's still willing but the legs aint responding like they used to. Still does his job better than anyone esle, but the end is nigh.

Stan Petrov
Superhuman energy levels are tainted by a tendency to make a meal of challenges, a pet hate of mine.

Strachan
Experiments in important matches and his prickly demeanor doesn't do him any favours with the media.

The Board
Their frugal approach is admirable but infuriating.

Team
Prone to calamitous lapses, especially in Cup games, and collectively need to be more responsible in defence.

 

[Weebull]

Arsenal (only the third one so far in the thread )

Criticise your teams captain.
Thierry Henry:
Superb player, but not captain material. Doesn't and can't lead a team like one should.

Criticise your teams most valuable player.
Since Henry is captain, I'll pick our most expensive player: Jose Reyes:
Goes to ground too easily, tries to be too fancy at times.

Criticise your manager.
Arsene Wenger:
Lacks the ability to change plans mid-game with clever substitutions, shouldn't have given Thierry the captaincy, but I can see why he did it (to placate him). Wouldn't swap him for anything though.

Criticise the teams directors/transfers.
Could probably do with bringing in some experience rather than constant youth signings, but there's honestly little I can criticise them for overall.
Isn't PHW on his way out soon Gooner14?

Criticise your team as a whole.
http://forums.overclockers.co.uk/showthread.php?t=17536918

Put simply, older players aren't trying hard enough, which is asking to much of the youngsters.

 

[Andybtsn]

Critisise your teams captain.
Paul Butler.
Like above, too slow, if we get to the premiership, he will not be able to handle to pace whatsoever.

Critisise your teams most valuable player.
David Healy.
Does not score enough goals for us.

Critisise your manager.
Failure to start Healy week in, week out, he's clearly our best player and bringing him on at 57 minutes might make him a super-sub, but we need his creativity from the start!
Getting rid of Marlon King, and Matthew Spring, and Clarke Carlisle; It's backfired on us!

Critisise the teams directors.
Meh, can't critise of yet, not till end of season anyway.

Critisise your team as a whole.
Too inconsistent, haven't won when we really needed to win. Will no doubt be our downfall come end of season.
Fingers crossed

 

[king_kenny]

Critisise the teams directors.
Freddy Shepherd is a fat , greedy , obnoxious , cretinous , fat , stupid , greedy , fat , stupid man.
Some of his top level descion making is absurd and the timing of these actions even more so.
He exploits the supporters as a cash cow and is milking us for all he can.
He is the root cause of the troubles at the club.

ROFL So so so sooooo True !!!!!!

 

[FishFluff]

Everton
Critisise your teams captain: David Wier - Old and slow, often gets caught out by faster players. Would have prefered Phil Neville to be captain or Tim Cahill.

Critisise your teams most valuable player: Valuable as in financial would be James Beattie. Has finally got himself match fit and works hard, but seems to lack the compsure in front of goal that he once had.

Critisise your manager: Too afraid to risk playing younger players. We play unattractive football but it gets the job done I suppose. Has failed to bring in a partner for Beattie in the last two windows.

Critisise the teams directors: Bill Kenwright and co. are appalling. Everything they touch they mess up and have spectacularly failed to bring in any kind of investment for years now.

Critisise your team as a whole: Good work rate and passion but we're seriously lacking in the final third.

 

[Gooner14]

Critisise the teams directors/transfers.
Could probably do with bringing in some experience rather than constant youth signings, but there's honestly little I can criticise them for overall.
Isn't PHW on his way out soon Gooner14?

Rumour has it that he will be stepping down soon due to his age and poor health. To be fair Dein does most of the running of the club day to day, and there isn't a better man for the job than DD.

 

[NokkonWud]

Man Utd

Critisise your teams captain.
Gary Neville
Taken to having the ball lobbed over his head and a left winger passing him with pace.

Critisise your teams most valuable player.
Gabriel Heinze
He's injured.. I honestly can't say anything else bad about him!

Critisise your manager.
Alex Ferguson
He listens too much to Quiroz. In the times we didn't have Quiroz we were a far more dominant team. He plays Fletcher and Silvestre.

Critisise the teams directors.
The Glazers
They upset people. Other than that, they've done a good job.

Critisise your team as a whole.
Inconsistency, which has always plagued us. We beat Birmingham with a reserve team, then blow it a week later with the first team. We have a total lack of midfield presence.
We can switch off and allow teams to bombard us (ala Portsmouth).

 

[HangTime]

Captain:
Henry's leadership skills are questionable - while he can be an inspiration at times, when things aren't going well he tends to pout and moans in a, je ne sais quoi, French way. By which I mean when he critisises players he doesn't come across as well and forceful as the likes of say Pearce, Keane or Adams, he seems more like a spoilt child

MVP:
Henry has been stalling on a contract for too long. On the pitch he sometimes drifts into wide areas when we need more of a force in and around the box. He's also broken his promise of always taking penalties.

Manager:
Wenger manages like I do in Champ Manager, buying players simply because they are good players, rather than what the squad actually needs. He allowed Vieira to leave and has not strengthened the defence sufficiently. Often he allows young players (especially English ones) to leave after a few years for small fees even when they have considerable talent. His handling of the media is occasionally poor, for example moaning about teams being too physical against Arsenal, which is just highlighting a weakness and encouraging it in the future.

Directors:
Rigidity of wage structure has perhaps prevented us from attracting some players in the past, and yet when it has come to the crunch for existing players, they have gone ahead and broken it anyway. Hard to find much to critisise here really.

Whole Team:
Lack of focus and effort when things aren't going well, particularly on the defensive side. Petulant at times, they need to learn that you need to keep working to retain a slender lead. Could do with toughening up a bit in order to cope with the more physical approach some sides adopt. Tendancy to try and score the perfect goal everytime, rather than getting bodies in the box and throwing it into the mixer; sometimes it seems that there is no plan B for when attempting to walk it into the net doesn't work.

 

[BaZ87]

Criticise your teams most valuable player:
Frank Lampard, bit fat.

I don't think Lampard is actually fat, although he does look a bit "big boned". I think it was just Liverpool fans having bit of fun. He surely wouldn't be able to play all these games if he was over weight.
Anyway...
Liverpool
Captain - Gerrard: Ocasionally feels its just his responsibility for the teams results and takes it upon himself to win games on his own (has improved a lot on this since Rafa has taken charge.
Most Valuable Player - Gerrard: As above.
Manager: Very difficult. Maybe has too much patience with players like Morientes who has been under performing and drops Cisse who out of all our strikers looks most like scoring.
Directors: Said they were close to an investment deal 18 months ago.
Whole Team: Just lack a cutting edge, which means we fail to kill teams off when dominating or 1 goal up.