Death.

Danthus · 18 Apr 2011 at 13:02

Why do people, when talking about death, talk in terms of lost, passed away and fell asleep etc? This even extends to the actual headstones in the cemetery.

I have always found it puzzling to be honest, do people do it because they struggle to deal with death or is a merely a phraseology?

Biohazard · 18 Apr 2011 at 13:04

It is sensitivity.

Participant · 18 Apr 2011 at 13:04

Let's be honest, death's not the greatest thing about life (well, not for most people anyway).

Danthus · 18 Apr 2011 at 13:05

Biohazard said:
It is sensitivity.

Why is it insensitive to say died, after all that is what has happened.

Danthus · 18 Apr 2011 at 13:06

Robbie G said:
Let's be honest, death's not the greatest thing about life (well, not for most people anyway).

But is one of the absolute things in life, why not death with it for what it is?

Pestilence · 18 Apr 2011 at 13:07

Is "croaked it" okay?

Participant · 18 Apr 2011 at 13:07

OldCoals said:
Why is it insensitive to say died, after all that is what has happened.

If your friend's wife died in a car wreck, would you say 'sorry for your loss', or 'sorry to hear your wife's brains were removed from her head in a horrible fashion'? Granted that is a massive exaggeration for effect, but 'died' just isn't as nice to hear.

Biohazard · 18 Apr 2011 at 13:07

OldCoals said:
Why is it insensitive to say died, after all that is what has happened.

Yes and would you walk up to a rape victim and say 'you just got raped' how you doing??

It is about saying the appropriate thing in light of the persons feelings. Being abrupt can cause upset.

Are you a sociopath?

Dr.EM · 18 Apr 2011 at 13:08

I guess it sounds less permanent/brutal and yes, it's preferred because people find it hard to deal with. Personally, not bothered.

Lysander · 18 Apr 2011 at 13:08

Because all these terms are accurate ways to describe death.

My theory, on the other hand, is that you know the answer to your question [it is pretty obvious after all, sensitivity, as has been said] and you're trying to get a rise out of the community on the back of the spirituality thread to affirm your own views and feel better about yourself.

Danthus · 18 Apr 2011 at 13:08

Biohazard said:
Yes and would you walk up to a rape victim and say 'you just got raped' how you doing??

It is about saying the appropriate thing in light of the persons feelings. Being abrupt can cause upset.

Are you a sociopath?

Would I be out of order if I said to someone, I am sorry your mother/father/sister has died?

Biohazard · 18 Apr 2011 at 13:09

OldCoals said:
Would I be out of order if I said to someone, I am sorry your mother/father/sister has died?

No.

Although if it is just after it, the words may not help. But, no.

Danthus · 18 Apr 2011 at 13:09

Lysander said:
Because all these terms are accurate ways to describe death.

How is fell asleep accurate?

Lysander · 18 Apr 2011 at 13:09

OldCoals said:
Would I be out of order if I said to someone, I am sorry your mother/father/sister has died?

Yes, you would. You need to soften the blow. Surely you know this? Yes, it's a statement of fact, but so is saying someone's old/fat/ugly. You don't say it to their face.

OldCoals said:
How is fell asleep accurate?

OK, I'll admit 'fell asleep' is one I haven't heard before. And it sounds daft to me. Passed away/passed on/lost make sense though.

Cosimo · 18 Apr 2011 at 13:09

OldCoals said:
Why is it insensitive to say died, after all that is what has happened.

People do say died all the time. Where did you get insensitivity from that?

Danthus · 18 Apr 2011 at 13:10

Biohazard said:
No.

Although if it is just after it, the words may not help. But, no.

That is my point, you can be respectful and say died.

Biohazard · 18 Apr 2011 at 13:10

Lysander said:
Yes, you would. You need to soften the blow. Surely you know this? Yes, it's a statement of fact, but so is saying someone's old/fat/ugly. You don't say it to their face.

He can convay his feelings correctly in his tone with that statement however.

It really depends on who and when in my mind.

Danthus · 18 Apr 2011 at 13:11

Lysander said:
Yes, you would. You need to soften the blow. Surely you know this? Yes, it's a statement of fact, but so is saying someone's old/fat/ugly. You don't say it to their face.

OK, I'll admit 'fell asleep' is one I haven't heard before. And it sounds daft to me. Passed away/passed on/lost make sense though.

Why do you need to soften the blow?

Cosimo · 18 Apr 2011 at 13:11

It sounds much better than saying snuffed it, croaked it, kicked the bucket, gave up the ghost which really do sound insensitive.

Cosimo · 18 Apr 2011 at 13:12

OldCoals said:
Why do you need to soften the blow?

If you can't work that one out you never will. Troll much?

Death.

Capodecina

Capodecina