Depressing subject I know..

doofer said:
I hope your Nana does not suffer. Sadly, dying with dignity will never be allowed in the UK as the Church who pays no Taxes has way too much influence over our Laws and they think life is 'god's gift' and is therefore sanctified in some way.

It is disgraceful how we are forced to allow loved ones to suffer needlessly and yet are legally obliged to end the suffering of animals. :(
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I am for euthanasia, but the suggestion this is purely a religious issue is plainly wrong. There are many good arguments against euthanasia which have nothing to do with religion.

Anyway, 92 is a good age and most people who have fluids and food cut don't die a slow lingering death because they are too weak and sick to linger anyway. So it can be an awful way to go, but it rarely is. Instead of several days of pain and confusion, it will just be a day or two.
 
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Thompson_NCL said:
I am for euthanasia, but the suggestion this is purely a religious issue is plainly wrong. There are many good arguments against euthanasia which have nothing to do with religion.
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This I agree with, obviously the circumstances would need to be thoroughly investigated, ie, is the person suffering, can the suffering be relieved, and so on.
 
Sorry hear. My granddad had a minor stroke x 2 but no real side effects. Lucky in that sense.

Just make sure you help your Mum and don't forget yourself as it can be important to get some time for you.

If funds permit a holiday is always a good way of clearing the air.

Sorry again and hope everything goes how it needs to for you.
 
Hedge said:
Well I'm having probably the worst week of my life while my Grandmother is clinging on to her life. Sunday she had a stroke and is has never woken since.

Scans said it's a massive bleed on her brain and she's too old for them to do anything so Doctors said it's a matter of hours or days until she passes.

My Mother hasn't left her side since and my Nana had never showed any changes.

What I don't understand is that if doctors have written her off, she's not on drips for food or water etc, effectively starved of all sustsinance for life, then why the hell is euthanasia illegal here?

Surely it's the same thing. By not feeding or hydrating someone you have decided they are gonna die, but you've decided it's gonna be slow and miserable instead of short and painless.

She's a strong old lady though that's for sure. She's 92 and she's been stubbornly keeping this up for nearly 5 days now bless her.

Just felt the need to get some thoughts off my chest.

Sorry it's a bit grim.
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Feel bad for you mate and reading it has brought back a lot of memories of my nan as she went through similar, i actually thought the same at the time when she was in hospital, same thing, cut all sustinence etc whilst she dies.

I wish i could turn the clock back and to actually query why she was left like that, to die, alone :(
 
Certainly no need to apologise OP. This sort of thing is incredibly stressful and emotional if you need to get things of your chest then go for it. It sounds like your doing a great job of supporting your mum who must be going through hell. Though I've never had a family member go through anything like this I work with these types of situations on a weekly basis and it amazes me just how strong some families are at times like this.

The priority is that she is kept comfortable and pain free. The way I tend to explain it to families is that in scenarios in which there is no chance of any meaningful recovery you don't want to prolong or extend suffering. If she hasn't woken up yet then she certainly isn't is safe to feed orally and given intravenous fluids means she will be hydrated but will make no difference to the long term outcome. She still won't be taking in any calories to "survive". As a family being together and supporting each other and making sure she is comfortable is probably the most important thing.

PS Liverpool Care Pathway (LCP) in it's old form is no longer used anywhere in the country. As for euthanasia that's a whole other thread and not appropriate here.
 
Hedge said:
Well I'm having probably the worst week of my life while my Grandmother is clinging on to her life. Sunday she had a stroke and is has never woken since.

Scans said it's a massive bleed on her brain and she's too old for them to do anything so Doctors said it's a matter of hours or days until she passes.

My Mother hasn't left her side since and my Nana had never showed any changes.

What I don't understand is that if doctors have written her off, she's not on drips for food or water etc, effectively starved of all sustsinance for life, then why the hell is euthanasia illegal here?

Surely it's the same thing. By not feeding or hydrating someone you have decided they are gonna die, but you've decided it's gonna be slow and miserable instead of short and painless.

She's a strong old lady though that's for sure. She's 92 and she's been stubbornly keeping this up for nearly 5 days now bless her.

Just felt the need to get some thoughts off my chest.

Sorry it's a bit grim.
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You should complain, they tired that with my grandfather we forced them to help and he is still around now. They can fix it but they work on probability the older you are the lower the probability.
They right you off with out even trying, we started to ask for all of his notes etc.. and spoke about suing them, they turned round and did everything they can.
The NHS medic relies on your limited knowledge but one thing they fear, being investigated.
 
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One of the hardest things of my life was being there when my Grandma passed away, 2 years ago.

She was in a good nursing home.

My wife had dealt with similar situations before and when we received 'the call', she knew that Grandma didn't have long left.

We made the drive from Swindon to Sheffield on a Friday. Sitting by her bedside, you could see she was in the last stages of life. My wife asked for my phone and gave me a website similar to this:

http://kokuamau.org/resources/last-stages-life

Her breathing was shallow. I continued talking to her and she took her last breath.

She didn't die alone and she had a wonderful life.

There was a huge turnout for her funeral. I wrote her a letter and put it in her coffin. I did the order of service and printed some lovely framed photos to put on her coffin at the service. She never got to meet her great granddaughter (now 16 weeks old), but I looked down at her face when she was sleeping and I saw the profile of my Grandma.


I know how you must feel.
 
Thanks for messages guys. Makes it a bit easier to handle. I'm still sitting in hospital now. Her right arm (stroke was left) moves about on occasion but docs say that's normal.

My Mam stays pretty strong but she has times when I see her looking through old photos or watching my nan and getting teary. It's pretty painful to see but I'm trying to distract myself by reading stuff.

I've been here every night. I slept on the floor here on first night I got here but since I'm driving about all day getting family and food etc it's not good for us both to have a crap nights sleep. So I've been staying in house instead last few nights. Not sure I want to leave tonight cos time is going by and it's gotta come eventually.

Talking to her actually makes me feel strange because I'm terrified she has that level of awareness. So I speak on occasion and hold her hand.

Man this is a depressing situation.
 
Today is the sixth year anniversary of my grandma passing. She was effectively my Mum. Clearly you are a loving and caring family. Be strong for your gran and mum. Speak to the doctors and nurses about your concerns. They are professional and knowledgable. Talk to your grandma. Your heels can become sore if your bed ridden, ask the nurses and they will show you what to do. It is hard but you are doing the right thing, you are there with her. She is not suffering or alone and this will give you both peace of mind.

My gran was in hospital for 4 weeks. I saw her every day and I was there when she passed. Of course it is upsetting. She was in some discomfort for 48hrs but that is all. She had exceptional grace and was not frightened, I believe that experience was her last life lesson to me her grandson.

Best wishes and you are all in my thoughts this week.
 
Thanks for that jpod.

Well it's now day 6 with no sustenance, I had to come back and sleep at home last night because I've been so tired and need of sleep. Since I'm the only one that drives in my family it's important I'm able to function myself.

I've read things about surviving without water and my Nana must have one hell of a strong heart to keep going so long. She's so tiny aswell.

I've just woken up and will go take my Mother some breakfast shortly.

I'm hopeful it's over soon, yet have no idea how I'll feel when it actually comes about.

Plenty of people have visited her though so that's nice.
 
Same sort of thing happened a few years ago with my Nan. What I did in her last days was tell her how much I appreciated what she had done for me throughout my lifetime and thanked her. She too was completely out of it but I still get great comfort from doing this.
 
She passed away at 5pm today. It was very surreal. We could tell it was coming and we stayed with her throughout.

My Mam has been so strong throughout. I'm really proud of her. I'm glad we were with her at the time and it was a very peaceful end.

Rip Nana. 92 and a right little fighter.
 
RaohNS said:
If funds permit a holiday is always a good way of clearing the air.
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sorry for your situation and I agree with what RaohNS is saying but allow yourself and your mother to grieve the loss first, when my farther in law died we was due to fly 10 days after, we flew out 2 days following the funeral and although it was an excellent family holiday it never gave my wife the full time to grieve her loss. unfortunately by the time we had got back most of the family had finished and she only really had me to confide in. :(
 
:( sorry to hear this.

I suppose if there's any positive it's that you were there for her until the end.
 
my heart goes out to you, i lost a few close family last year, it seems nowdays doctors would sometimes let people slip away rather than taking the risk of a risky intervention, it maddens me.
Chin up mate you are not alone.
 
It is great that you were all with her, that will have been a great comfort.

Best wishes to you and your family.
 
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