Diary of a boy with a lizard face

movingtables

movingtables

movingtables

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As well as being interesting I write this because I would like to think
That if someone out there suffers from what I did as a child I’d like
That person to know they aren’t alone.

Body dysmorphic disorder: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder

As kids/teens we are all self conscious of our appearance (probably more today than ever)
But when I was 12 years old I knew something wasn’t quite right.
I would stair in the mirror for hours looking at my reflection. A few imperfections here and there
And I would move on. Sadly I would become more obsessed at looking at my reflection.

By the time I was 13 years old I was almost too scared to look in the mirror because those
Imperfections turned into a horrifying nightmare. When I looked in the mirror I didn’t see what
Most boys did, I saw a reflection of a monster with lizard skin.

By the time I was 14 years old it had been almost a year since I had seen my own reflection.
I couldn’t bear to look at my face.
I started doing other strange things such as having a bath in the dark. I believed if I could wash my face
In the dark it would someone wash the ugliness/lizard scales off my face.

By the time I was 15 I was terrified of mirrors and had to avoid them at all costs.
I started having other issues with my appearance such as body parts, legs arms head ect all seemed
The wrong shape and disproportionate. This was all very distressing and I would cry myself to sleep.

By the time I was 17 I was so stressed out with my illness that my hair started to fall out in clumps and that just made things worse. My parents helped me with my next strange request and that was to find a hairpiece to cover my hair loss and this is what they did. We got in touch with a man who supplied wigs
To the rich and famous (comical I know) and I had one fitted and I wore it until I was 23.

At 23 I was made redundant from my job that I had 2 weeks after leaving school age 18. I had what I describe as a mini break down that lasted a few months at its worsted.
After that I took my hair piece off and shaved my head, seen a psychiatrist and got stoned on Prozac.

I am now aged 33(hadn’t looked at my face in 5 years) and I no longer suffer as I did as a child but the mental scaring is still there.
But when I look in the mirror I grin because I am now free from the lizard man.

This is a very concise/waffling/random story of my childhood.

Thanks for listening.

me aged 21:
 
You look like Craig Charles!

Any how - that must have been awful. I'm glad you've recovered though.

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.
 
Its interesting because i think most people have some problems in a similar way but most to a much lesser extent. Show of hands who likes looking at themselves in the mirror?


Obviously you've prolly been told this 1000 times before but to me you look more normal than most people! you support a rubbish football team, though ;)
 
bobert50 said:
Its interesting because i think most people have some problems in a similar way but most to a much lesser extent. Show of hands who likes looking at themselves in the mirror?


Obviously you've prolly been told this 1000 times before but to me you look more normal than most people! you support a rubbish football team, though ;)
Click to expand...

i have a member of family who play for the team so its not my fault :D

ps- thans for the replys.. :)
 
You look normal in that pic, could you look at pitcures of yourself, not scared to take pics of yourself?

Glad everything sorted itself out, that must have been a hard ordeal.
 
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