Did you just smile ?

Pentium

Pentium

Pentium

Associate
Joined
26 Jan 2008
Posts
29
Location
London
Two blondes walk into a bar, yes a real bar where you drink.
They look really happy so the bartender asks them, "What are you guys celebrating ?"
They say: "We finished a 50 piece puzzle in 3 days!"
Bartender says: "And ?"
They say: "Well ,the box said 8 to 10 years !"

... or how about that one ...

Customer buys the 3x as fast skatebaord that cost $100
Employee scans it 3 times $300
Customer: Why'd you do that ?
Employee: Its 3x times as fast, its 3x the price
Customer: Find my 2 skateboards
Employee scans 6 more times, total = $900
Customer: Why'd you do THAT ??
Employee: You said 2 more skateboards
 
Ok, how about that one:

A man was driving when a traffic camera flashed.
He thought his picture was taken for exceeding the speed limit, even though he knew he was not speeding.

Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.
He thought this was quite funny, so he slowed down even further as he drove past the area, but the traffic camera flashed yet again.

He tried a fourth time with the same result. The fifth time he was laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past at a snail's pace.
Two weeks later, he got five traffic fine letters in the mail for driving without a seat belt.
 
Come on, admit it ... you did smile a little.

They say if you play a Microsoft CD backwards, you hear satanic messages.
Thats nothing, cause if you play it forwards, it installs Windows !
 
Don't give up. Here's more:

A police officer pulls over a speeding car: "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
Driver: "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
Wife: "But this car doesn’t have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver scowls: "Can’t you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
Wife: "You should be thankful your radar detector went off."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man says: "Can’t you keep your mouth shut???"
Officer: "And I notice that you’re not wearing your seat belt, sir. That’s an automatic $75 fine."
Driver: "Yeah, well, you see officer, I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out."
Wife: "But you didn’t have your seat belt on."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver barks: "WHY DON’T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP ??"
Officer: "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma’am?"

"Only when he’s been drinking."
 
The only thing remotely amusing here is: You joined in January 2008, have 20 Posts and 5 of them are crap joke ones here. You must be some recently banned returnee on a dupe account or it makes absolutely no sense at all :)
 
You're smiling right now, right ?

A man goes to the doctor and says: "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
The doctor asks: "What do you mean?"
The man says: "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."
The doctor says: "Ah, I see .. you've broken your finger!"
 
Pentium said:
Haters_Gonna_Hate_23.jpg
Click to expand...
Keep on rolling my friend... :D
 
Stolen from a friend on facebook

"I would literally kill to snuggle up to someone, so I did. A fortnight on and she's starting to smell. Fabreze is over rated."
 
Naah, I never had a different account than this Pentium one.
Why would I want to do that ?

Yeah, I joined long time ago but that's not a crime.
Was just going through my list of my previous registrations. Gosh, there are so many.
Anyway, was just testing whether my account was still active or not.
You've got a nice colour scheme here, pleasant to the eye.
 
First one is awful.

Second one doesn't make sense, and is grammatically incorrect anyway.

The later ones I assumed were worse and didn't bother reading.
 
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