Dilema... Female problems :(

agnes

agnes

agnes

Soldato
Joined
1 Dec 2006
Posts
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Location
Amsterdam, NL
Right, me and my current gf have been together for about 6 months, and at no point have I really had a 'spark' with her. Yet I love spending time with her, the bedroom play is great and come on, she lets me play the 360, orders pizza and joins in with commentary! "Quick! There are a pack of grunts coming up on your right!" hehe.

Problem is, I'm worried as I have never been a relationship kind of guy, more of a 1 nighter. So how should this feel? I know for a fact she is crazy about me which is worrying as I care enough that I don't want to hurt her in anyway possible.

She had a little bit of a funny one when we were in a club on Friday, a couple of lasses came up to her and noticed we were fart arsing about so assumed we were mates (we were talking to each other loudly in accents from True Blood acting like children lol, still makes me laugh thinking about it) and asked about me... Obviously she got a little peeved off as it wasn't the first time it has happened...

So she gets jealous when females ask about me or talk to me in bars??? Normal?

Anyway, what should I do?

ags
 
agnes said:
So she gets jealous when females ask about me or talk to me in bars??? Normal?
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Yes.

If you're properly into a girl and a random dude is thinking that she's available and asking her about it, then it naturally does make you a weird mix of proud / ****ed off.
 
I'm having trouble understanding your complaint.

She's the perfect girl aside from a bit of jealousy (which everyone grows out of)? Is there something specific that's bothering you, or are you just unsure if this is how "love" should feel?
 
Punch her in the ovaries!

Ahem, tbh that all sounds perfectly normal, women can get incredibly protective and this does indeed start to get irritating sometimes :(

I'd just reassure your missus that it's her you want, and to ignore other women that attempt to make you smash their pasty.
 
DampCat said:
I'm having trouble understanding your complaint.

She's the perfect girl aside from a bit of jealousy (which everyone grows out of)? Is there something specific that's bothering you, or are you just unsure if this is how "love" should feel?
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Yea, it's not a complaint, just a confusion. What should I feel? Anything at all? It's driving me nuts, as it stands, it feels like a best mate with benefits...

ags
 
agnes said:
Right, me and my current gf have been together for about 6 months, and at no point have I really had a 'spark' with her. Yet I love spending time with her, the bedroom play is great and come on, she lets me play the 360, orders pizza and joins in with commentary! "Quick! There are a pack of grunts coming up on your right!" hehe.

Problem is, I'm worried as I have never been a relationship kind of guy, more of a 1 nighter. So how should this feel? I know for a fact she is crazy about me which is worrying as I care enough that I don't want to hurt her in anyway possible.

She had a little bit of a funny one when we were in a club on Friday, a couple of lasses came up to her and noticed we were fart arsing about so assumed we were mates (we were talking to each other loudly in accents from True Blood acting like children lol, still makes me laugh thinking about it) and asked about me... Obviously she got a little peeved off as it wasn't the first time it has happened...

So she gets jealous when females ask about me or talk to me in bars??? Normal?

Anyway, what should I do?

ags
Click to expand...
So you've found an awesome girl to be with but you are worried because you haven't felt a "spark"?!

I hate you and I hate this post... :p
 
I would say that if you think you are wasting either of yours time, then life is too short, and let her move on to find someone who is crazy about her. Failing that sit down and talk to her and if shes happy with it not being all sparks and fireworks and just "ok" then fair enough.
 
Marky said:
So you've found an awesome girl to be with but you are worried because you haven't felt a "spark"?!

I hate you and I hate this post... :p
Click to expand...

Lol, I in no way intend that to be my intention, just need some guidance from the love guru's who have been in many relationships as this is my first proper one...

ags
 
agnes said:
Yea, it's not a complaint, just a confusion. What should I feel? Anything at all? It's driving me nuts, as it stands, it feels like a best mate with benefits...

ags
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Well, it depends who you ask. Some people don't like their partner and best friend to be the same person. Some people do.

My girlfriend is my best friend, by a long way. Often i see something and i'm like "oh man i have to tell someone!", and if she isn't around... I end up not telling anyone. Nobody else gets it like she does.

For me... if i'm going to spend the rest of my life with this girl, then the important thing is that we enjoy being together, having fun, doing the same things, arguing rarely and that we understand each other.

I'd take that over the alternatives in a heartbeat. Give it time, see how you feel. Sounds like you dont have a "spark". You just have to decide if you're in this for the marathon, or if you would prefer a series of lustful flings... or whatever the alternative might be for you... whatever is is you're looking for.
 
Its not going to last anyway and judging from your icq,msn etc etc etc..you like a bit of attention and she will only get more jealous.
 
agnes said:
Lol, I in no way intend that to be my intention, just need some guidance from the love guru's who have been in many relationships as this is my first proper one...

ags
Click to expand...

Just sounds to me you need to find your way out of the "one nighter" mentality and realise you might have someone special after all.
 
Busa said:
Its not going to last anyway and judging from your icq,msn etc etc etc..you like a bit of attention and she will only get more jealous.
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Ummm, ok? So having online communication tools is a no no? Some how I think I will skip that advice.

Mr^B said:
Critical information missing from thread.

1. OP's age.
2. Pics
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21 and no pics at work :(

ags
 
Could you envisage living a happy life without her? Could you live with her for the rest of your life? Does the prospect of seeing her send shivers up your spine and does thinking about her make you smile to yourself?
Above and many more are the sort of probing questions that hold the answers you seek!

And yeah, the jealousy thing is more than normal if you're really into someone.
 
Sounds like you're doing well for yourself...

No 'spark'... Don't put pressure on yourself. 6 months in after all, doesn't mean that you have to be in love with each other.

Just relax and enjoy it :)




On a side note I wouldn't want my gf to be my best friend as well: I enjoy the difference.
 
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