Dilemma - relationship thread

badgermonkey · 18 Sep 2006 at 16:53

First off, sorry for another relationship thread... but it IS my first

Right ive got a girlfriend who i do really like, but that's about it. I find her attractive, we get on really well, and I think she's a great person. However she has those 'extra' feelings for me, the much deeper feelings that i dont feel. This is mostly because my last relationship before her ended up in my fiancee leaving me for another guy, meaning i really dont want to commit to anything deep again.

Moving to Uni would provide me a very simple reason to break up with her, however im moving closer, from a 40min drive to a 10minute drive to be precise. I really like her, and don't want to lose her as a friend, but because my feelings for her dont run as deep as hers for mine do, I know i'll probably stray at uni once im drunk regardless. Really, since my fiancee leaving me, all i REALLY want is sex with someone i like ( I know how shallow it sounds, guys will understand). At the moment im not even getting that as my current girlfriend is a virgin, not complaining, just putting into perspective how likely it is that i will stray, and therefore need to get out of this relationship.

But how can i do it? I know honesty should be the best policy, but i think the truth here will just really hurt her, and break off our friendship, as she has been after me for 2 years and we've only been going out the last 2 months. So what can i do? And more importantly what should i say?

Thank you for any help the great collective ocuk knowledge might pass on

badgermonkey · 18 Sep 2006 at 16:55

Visage said:
Send her the URL of this thread?

Yeah thank you.

badgermonkey · 18 Sep 2006 at 17:03

iCraig said:
Be a man and tell her how you feel (missing out the bit about wanting to get laid by someone else)

If you make up some lie, that's unfair to someone who obviously cares a lot about you. You owe her the truth.

Yeah i know i cant mention to her about the sex thing. I know she doesnt want it currently, and i fully understand and support it, it's just... well because im an 18 year old guy looking to have fun rather than a serious relationship etc.

Maybe I should tell her the truth about it then... but it's a case of really how to word it well. Actually i just tried typing its not like i can just say "example", and what i typed worked perfectly. Now getting the guts to say it is needed

badgermonkey · 18 Sep 2006 at 17:03

Rosbif said:
we require pics of her... this way we can formulate better answers to your problem... cheers

There are pics of her on the net, but i doubt you could find my clans "Best GF award" thread, since it isn't anywhere near here

Nor could you find her myspace

badgermonkey · 18 Sep 2006 at 17:06

ElRazur said:
Hold the bulls by the horn man, that's the way to do it.

Metaphor is a great form of poetry, but it's actual meaning has flown over my head in this instance :confused:

badgermonkey · 18 Sep 2006 at 18:02

I think Sara expressed what i tried to, it wasnt a case of sex being an issue, because if i felt for her enough that wouldnt be an issue in the slightest. It is mainly the imbalance of feelings.

badgermonkey · 18 Sep 2006 at 18:03

helpimcrap said:
exactly what i would be thinking though - only difference in his case is that shes a virgin and it wouldnt be really fair in my eyes to mention the fact sex was an issue, if not with her.

I think it wouldnt be fair, it'd be putting pressure on her with regards to it, and she might cave too easily in the future if another guy she liked was pressuring her for it. Because i know if i pressured her then i would get it, but im not that kind of person.