Do you charge your children "keep" or rent? Do/did you pay it yourself?

[jaybee]

Keep... I remember when my parents told me about keep back in the day (90s) and I laughed in their face and thought they were joking. Then I learned that it was actually a thing, and gradually began to understand why it was a thing.
Back in the late 90s when I started work I used to pay about £100 a month.
Given inflation 20 years later, that today would supposedly be £184 according to this bank of england calculator
What do you think on the matter?
I know a lot charge it, but then save it up and give it back for a house deposit. For those that will do that, are your kids aware that this is what you will do, or will it be a surprise for when the time comes?

 

[Moley]

My parents used to charge me housekeeping. The rationale being - you're working now, it's costs to feed you and keep a roof over your head and as an earner you can contribute to these costs. I never had an issue with it and was glad to be doing my bit.

My father-in-law did the same with my Mrs when she was young - except he put all her housekeeping in a building society account (without her knowledge) and then gifted it to her when we bought our house together.

 

[slinxy]

It depends on your child’s situation.. I refused to pay them when I was living at home.

I had student debts that I needed to pay and I was rather good at saving myself for a car and moving out.

My brothers and sisters (older) all paid a small amount which my parents gave back to purchase cars or houses.

 

[413x]

I had to pay after university.
It wasn't rent prices but the rent I had to pay + living with my parents and all their rules pushed me into moving out.

 

[spoon]

I didn't pay for housekeeping but the idea there was for me to save money and get a place of my own which I eventually did.

My parents knew I was sensible with money so went along with it.

 

[NotAGolf]

My kids are 4 and 7, so charging them rent might be a tad harsh.

My parents didn't charge me rent of any kind when I was at college or uni, nor when I was looking for a job afternoon finishing uni. I think they knew I was saving hard to move out so were OK with it. Had I been dossing around, then I think they would have started charging.

I plan on charging my kids a small amount of rent when they're older, but I'll give it back to them to go towards a deposit when they're looking to buy their own place.

 

[Mr Jack]

Never lived with my parents after uni for any length of time. I have sent my mum and my sister money at times. If I did live at home for a long time, I think I'd feel I should pay rent, but then if I was it'd probably be because something had gone very wrong so maybe I wouldn't be in a position to. I think it's fair enough to ask children to contribute, and probably encourages them to sort their lives out. But, on the other hand, if they're actually saving for a deposit or something then probably better to let them keep it.

To me, it's up to each family to decide depending on circumstances rather than something we should be claiming a right or wrong way about.

My kids are 4 and 7, so charging them rent might be a tad harsh.

Does no-one clean chimneys any more? Damn slackers!

 

[tonys]

It depends on your child’s situation.. I refused to pay them when I was living at home.

I had student debts that I needed to pay and I was rather good at saving myself for a car and moving out.

My brothers and sisters (older) all paid a small amount which my parents gave back to purchase cars or houses.

So according to some you would have had it easy then. Free board and lodgings and enough spare cash to save for a car.

 

[Mercenary Keyboard Warrior]

Mine charged me 20% of my take home as encouragement to move out.
I did that for around 2 years before moving out into a house with my first serious girlfriend.

To be fair what I earned I was probably only realistically covering my food etc. Maybe they made a small amount of "profit"

 

[rodders]

£50pm for my first job, was only at B&Q
When I finished my apprenticeship I was paying £250pm. Can't remember what I was bringing home though, so long ago.

 

[tonys]

I was charged board but on top of that I had to pay extra because they had secondary double glazing put in and wanted me to help out. This was in a council house that they were renting and didn't take with them when they moved.

 

[Kelt]

When I was living at home, I gave a third of my gross income to my parents, and was glad to be able to contribute.

 

[nightwish]

My parents's didn't charge me (though I moved out of my own accord to go to uni (somewhat late-ish after a gap year)), never to return full-time and I probably wont charge my kids (they are still young). We don't need the money (or at least, don't at the moment). But I don't think adult kids living at their parent's house forever is good for them either, so may think of some way to encourage them to move out once they're in their 20s, if they're still around.

 

[slinxy]

So according to some you would have had it easy then. Free board and lodgings and enough spare cash to save for a car.

Not at all.. I had crippling student debts to the point where I was close to declaring bankruptcy.

Knowing that the only reason why my parents wanted me to pay board was to teach me about financial responsibility and to save it to return later when I needed it to move out, buy a car or a house.. it seemed like a pointless exercise as I’ve already learnt my lessons about financial responsibility and management.

While I understand that their are some parents out there that need their children to pay their way to keep a roof over everyone’s head and food on the table, this was never the case in our house hold as we had a very basic lifestyle.

 

[throwaway4372]

I had a gap between uni and starting work, I had been very proactive about applying and interviewing but it wasn't going well. It was a bit of a soul-destroying time, I chose a good degree at a good uni and got a 1st and expected a decent graduate job at the end of it, and reality just didn't care. I moved back home, totally temporary situation just so I had somewhere to sleep and job hunt from, fully intending to be out of there asap, and fully expecting it to be free.

Then once I'm moved in, mum decides she wants to charge me 50/week. Had I known that earlier I wouldn't have moved back there, I could have rented somewhere else and avoided dealing with her bs. Around about the same time I got a job lined up (requiring a relocation from north to south) but it didn't start for a few months. At this point it wasn't worth moving out so I had no choice.

She said her charging me rent was to cover costs (but I cost nothing really) and also to motivate me to move (as if I wasn't already motivated enough). I explained I would need a rent deposit, and moving costs, etc; so her taking money from me was actually making it harder to move. That was like talking to a brick wall.

I eventually left home for my job and still hate her for it ~20 years later.

Then I realised the job didn't pay enough to cover expenses down south, so I made a loss in my first year as a graduate. FeelsBadMan

And my bedsit was mouldy and made me very ill and I couldn't afford to move, and that still affects me now. RIP.

 

[rodders]

Nope and probably wont (my kids are still young). We don't need the money (or at least, don't at the moment). But I don't think adult kids living at their parent's house forever is good for them either, so may think of some way to encourage them to move out once they're in their 20s, if they're still around.

I'm going to charge, but we also don't need it, but want then to understand it's not all just play money. I'll save it in an ISA, then they can use it to move out (hopefully)

 

[tonys]

Nope and probably wont (my kids are still young). We don't need the money (or at least, don't at the moment). But I don't think adult kids living at their parent's house forever is good for them either, so may think of some way to encourage them to move out once they're in their 20s, if they're still around.

Tried it, my son moved out at 33. Daughter was better she went at 16 but kept coming back. The last time was so she and her partner could save up for a mortgage. They both paid board, the son paid more than the daughter, though as he never spent much money he didn't miss it. His partner also paid board when he moved in

 

[D.P.]

Nope and i won't, rather i would give them an allowance. If they have a part time job at uni i would probably give them top ups.

Why charge them given that when I die they'll get it back again

 

[robfosters]

No, my dad was vehemently against his kids paying rent or housekeeping. He believed that while his kids lived under his roof, he paid and that was the end of that.

When I got my first weekly wage at 16, I offered him £20 and he got really annoyed and offended. He did thank me later for the offer but told me never to do it again.

There were some bad things that happened in his childhood that cultivated that attitude. Even now, he’ll only accept financial gifts from us on birthdays and the like.

 

[Zefan]

I never stayed with my parents outside of education apart from when I was waiting to join the military, which was a matter of a few weeks. I think, as a parent, I would ask sons to pay their way but not daughters.

Why charge them given that when I die they'll get it back again

For me it would be absolutely nothing to do with the financial/economical side and everything to do with the principle/opportunity to develop their - what should be - budding sense of personal responsibility.