Do you have passion in your life?

[AHarvey]

I took my daughter to see Hugh Jackman in Birmingham yesterday and it was a really good show but what really jumped out at me is the passion that he has for what he's doing, and I realised, other than my kids/wife, I have no real passion for anything.

I have borderline personality disorder and suffer with depression on and off as well as living in near constant pain so being happy and enthusiastic a lot of the time is just a no go, but even when I'm in so much pain I'm struggling to sit my kids still manage to lift me and we play and laugh.

The 9-5 commute bores me, it's like waiting for death although I don't mind my shift hour drives, it's a more fun drive and takes half the time. My work is overly complex and is not satisfying in the least.

I'm just wondering, am I the norm or the exception?

Do other people have more passion in their lives or are they just floating through life?

 

[AHarvey]

You don't need to be a rich actor to have a passion

This is what stood out for me, yes, he's a worldwide celeb and worth $150 million but you get the feeling that if he was penniless but had his family and was still on stage performing he'd still be one the happiest men you'd meet.

I'm 37, been with my wife since just before we turned 16. Married ten year, mortgage, 2 kids and another on the way. £30k ish a year job but nothing gives me a reason to get up in the morning.

Nothing is better than my kids, even though at times they drive me crazy. Their hugs calm me, and on the odd occasion they still fall asleep on me I can honestly say I feel true peace. I'm quite reserved as well, don't mingle well, **** at small talk (although everyone loves me and treats me like the life and soul but I'm really not) but my kids give me that reason to be silly. Walking around in public doing daft stuff to make them laugh.

We go yurting once a year, no phones, no tv, no social media, rarely any electricity. Just campfires, gas cooking and the woods. We all love it and it brings us all together. The kids and I would make that permanent but it's not the wife's cup of tea. I feel at peace here too.

Passion though, I've wasted years gaming and I've come to learn that it's a distraction for me, a distraction from the pain I live in and I suppose the bits I'm missing in life. Since reading a magazine at the age of 4 about a home computer running house security I've always been hooked, I didn't even upgrade my phone this year. Kept my battered S7, stuck a chunky case on it and went sim only contract. I've always every other flagship, it just doesn't interest me, waste of money.

I have plans, interests but they are short-lived or just sit there simmering like an ongoing untouched project.

I've just photographed a wedding, been doing it on and off for 10 years but nowhere near @Raymond Lin's level, I enjoy it I just can't seem to throw myself into it like i used to.

As much as I love my family, it often feels like I'm doing it for them, once the kids leave home then what?

I guess this question was much deeper than I first thought.