Do you want to fit in?

[FnG]magnolia

[FnG]magnolia

[FnG]magnolia

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American Psycho is a novel by Brett Easton Ellis. According to literary critic Jeffrey W. Hunter, American Psycho is largely a critique of the "shallow and vicious aspects of capitalism."[7] The characters are predominantly concerned with material gain and superficial appearances, traits indicative of a postmodern world in which the 'surface' reigns supreme. This leads Patrick Bateman to act as if "everything is a commodity, including people,"[8] an attitude that is further evident in the rampant objectification and brutalization of women that occurs in the novel. This distancing allows Bateman to rationalize his actions;[9] in one anthropophagic scene, Bateman remarks "though it does sporadically penetrate how unacceptable some of what I'm doing actually is, I just remind myself that this thing, this girl, this meat, is nothing..."[10]

I'd argue that this is a theme - and Ellis himself has said it's a central one - but when I read the book, which is often, it's the sense of needing to conform by irrational means and wanting to be liked which strikes me.

Do you want to fit in, be liked? Or don't you care? Before you go hyper super alpha and all 'No, I'm my own man and people can think what they like, something something millenials' ... take a second to pause and reflect. Maybe it goes the other way and you don't want to fit in or be liked.

Thoughts?
 
No I never wanted to fit in, because I always hated what the majority valued. That doesn't mean I didn't want to be liked and valued. I just wanted them to fit in with me, not the other way around. To an extent that's still the case
 
As Devrij says, I'm not too sure that I want to fit in as in many cases my interests are very different from the majority of people I know or come across. However I want to be liked for who I am and what I like etc and not having to conform to being as "everyone else" to be liked or accepted. I think for me it is more about being accepted as I am that fitting in with others.
 
You’re right everyone cares about fitting in to be perfectly honest, we inhibit that behaviour from childhood and exempt from things like autism you’re just using coping mechanisms if you’re continually telling yourself you’re your person and people should get on your level if they want some understanding.
 
I have a similar preoccupation with choice of paper weightings and finishes (as it is partly my job) but I've never experienced a problem with park benches. Therefore I'm unable to respond definitively to the question.
 
I dislike people, in fact I'd go as far to say as I despise most people in general. I do want to be liked by those I love/care for or have an emotional attachement to though.
Most people, however, just make me angry. Bizarrely I can mask all that when I need to and when socialising through normal day to day activities can appear quite the joyous, pleasant soul. An example being my works do last night. Most people seemed genuinely disappointed when I said I was leaving. So I obviously don't come across as being obnoxious publicly. Which is strange, for had they all simultaneously been choking on their food I'd have sat back merrily and watched.
 
Thekwango said:
I dislike people, in fact I'd go as far to say as I despise most people in general. I do want to be liked by those I love/care for or have an emotional attachement to though.
Most people, however, just make me angry. Bizarrely I can mask all that when I need to and when socialising through normal day to day activities can appear quite the joyous, pleasant soul. An example being my works do last night. Most people seemed genuinely disappointed when I said I was leaving. So I obviously don't come across as being obnoxious publicly. Which is strange, for had they all simultaneously been choking on their food I'd have sat back merrily and watched.
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Aside from the “work’s do” which as a virtually permanently self
employed guy I never had to think about, you could be me.
 
My group of friends is quite diverse, all we share in common is a very dark sense of humour. I think we found eachother by not fitting in elsewhere :p
 
I can't think of anything worse than living a mediocre life, spewing out mediocre children, getting old and dying. Being remembered by my children, their children and maybe their children's children. But after that? Do you know the name of your grandfather's grandfather? **** that. I'd rather my name was remembered for contributing something new and novel rather than the norm.

Narcissistic I know but I can't help the way I feel.
 
meh, i could care less, i have a few good freinds and that's all you really need. we seem to in this age of social media have gotten confused that the number of "freinds" you have is any actual indicator of how social you are.

i guess the good news is atm i don't really have any enemies, which is a nice state of affairs to try and continue.
 
Moses said:
I only truly care about fitting in and being liked by those I love/care about. Then it’s a sliding scale down to not caring at all. So I care most about those extremely close to me, then marginally less for the next tier of people, etc, etc, down to those who I really don’t care about at all.

Do I want to fit in and be liked with the hardcore conspiracy theorist/evangelical bitcoin advocate at work? No.

Do you actually read it often? What other books do you go back to again and again?
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Perhaps 'often' is pushing it but certainly twice a year, every year since I first read it in the 90's. It's a book where the repetition of the lines, the pieces, the players, is a joy rather than a chore and the almost straight down the middle reader challenge of real/imagined fantasy is one I never tire of. There are few other books I'd read in the same way, though.

Perhaps At Swim-Two-Birds?

e: I didn't answer my own question :facepalm: Much like Moses, my level of care diminishes pretty rapidly the less I really know someone. It doesn't extend to active dislike but I need warming up if I haven't met you, which sounds egotistical but I promise you is not, and is entirely my fault.

e2: Unless you're a hulking Frenchman who could wrap me in his arms forever I've said too much how did this get here I don't even know where he li v :mad:
 
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Difficult to asses ones own personal characteristics or desires in such a literal sense.

I tend to wear a mask in public, i believe i act according to social norms and expectations and this is built through experience and teachings from my upbringing, being kind to people and showing respect. Although when it comes to "fitting in" and my desire to want to do so.. It really depends, in work yeah i want to fit in, but I've never had a problem doing so, It hasn't been a work in progress, it just always was.

When it comes to something like University, i am a mature student, over 10 years older than most of the other students, i have a small social circle in the year group that are all also mature students, because we have similar experiences and common ground. I do find difficulty when mixing with younger people (Millennials and Generation Z) even though i am technically a Millenial myself, i find myself sharing many common attributes with generation X, i am a conservative centrist, i believe in national sovereignty and hate the idea of socialism.. I am brutally against welfare or handouts, i despise homeless people as i believe the problems they face could easily be solved with a bit of a kick up the arse, i am objective and lead by evidence over feelings. This makes me naturally an outsider from many "social groups", but honestly that doesn't bother me in the slightest.

But in reality whilst i can be the most social personal you will ever meet, overbearing at times, but i am really a ridiculous loner who prefers nothing more than to be by myself.. This could stem from dealing with an unfair amount of personal loss that many don't deal with until they are far older than i am.. But i am no psychologist.
 
Oh look, umpteen posters, all claiming they don't want to/can't/won't fit in. Effectively making them all the same.

You bloody sheep! :p
 
Outside my partner and kids,I have very little time for other human interaction, I find the company of our canine friends to be more pleasing on the soul. I
 
Mason- said:
I can't think of anything worse than living a mediocre life, spewing out mediocre children, getting old and dying. Being remembered by my children, their children and maybe their children's children. But after that? Do you know the name of your grandfather's grandfather? **** that. I'd rather my name was remembered for contributing something new and novel rather than the norm.

Narcissistic I know but I can't help the way I feel.
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And you've done?
 
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