educating your kids

[RDM]

but then you are going to have a brainwashed kid. i wouldnt send my kid to a religious school. i want them to learn facts, not fairy tales.

It is extremely unlikely that the "brainwashing" will stick as it isn't being reinforced at home. Exposure to religion wont harm her and any gaps we will happily pick up (sex education is something we will cover obviously). Considering the other school in the area is so poor it is no doubt the right choice.

As for fairy tales, we are going to have to break it to her that neither the tooth fairy, Easter bunny or Father Christmas exist adding God to the list won't hurt.

 

[oulton]

It is extremely unlikely that the "brainwashing" will stick as it isn't being reinforced at home. Exposure to religion wont harm her and any gaps we will happily pick up (sex education is something we will cover obviously). Considering the other school in the area is so poor it is no doubt the right choice.

As for fairy tales, we are going to have to break it to her that neither the tooth fairy, Easter bunny or Father Christmas exist adding God to the list won't hurt.

Why don't you let the kid decide?

 

[RDM]

Why don't you let the kid decide?

That Father Christmas isn't real? Well, I suppose I could, but one day she is going to work out that mummy and daddy buy all the presents that come from Santa...

 

[oulton]

That Father Christmas isn't real? Well, I suppose I could, but one day she is going to work out that mummy and daddy buy all the presents that come from Santa...

There you go, letting the kid work out such things is probably for the best...

 

[Xordium]

Never done that whole Santa thing with my kids. Never really understood it I've always thought it was kind of deceptive and demonstrates its ok to lie. But I come from a different culture to you guys so I suspect it has more to do with that.

 

[RDM]

There you go, letting the kid work out such things is probably for the best...

More seriously, of course it will be up to her as to what to believe. But it seems unlikely that she will be a staunch Catholic with an atheist father and a lapsed catholic/bordering on atheist mother. Especially when we will be specifically teaching her stuff that goes agianst the Church as being right.

 

[RDM]

Never done that whole Santa thing with my kids. Never really understood it I've always thought it was kind of deceptive and demonstrates its ok to lie. But I come from a different culture to you guys so I suspect it has more to do with that.

It's an extra tool in the toolkit of behaviour management, we tell her that if she misbehaves father christmas replaces one of her presents with a sprout...

 

[Reemul]

You also need to be careful when it comes to teaching them reading/ alphabet and all the other stuff they learn in the first few years at school. Unless you teach them the same way they will do it at school it causes major issues. They will pick uplearning the aphabet and what it means very easily in teh first year at school anyways without us teachign tehm stuff they do not understand as they cannot read anyways.

My wife is a primary school teacher and the amount of kids that come in knowing their alphabet which is just the name for the letter rather than the sound (phonics) and then struggle to cope with the change of learning as they learn to read is amazing.

As well thinking the fact they can count to 100 means they know their numbers. First week back at school and at the meet the parents session 2 parents didn't understand the way their child was learning maths as it wasn't how they did it 30 years ago (this is year 3 she is teaching this year) and was offsetting everything the child was learning by doing it incorrectly.

Yet the school had a child who was 7 which had been abroad and had pretty much not started learning and caught up with 2 terms no problem.

The worst thing about parents is the competitiveness, they all want to be able to say my child crawled, walked, talked, read, added up and so on first as if it's a competition when it's not.

My eldest is nearly 6 and likes the Ipad or pc but is really limited to a few hours a week but instead him and his younger brother (aged 2) spend time out and about all year round going to farms, forests, walks, play areas and so on. They pick stuff up scarily quick and that includes the bad as well as the good. Trust your instincts and work with your child to help him/her learn but there is no race or my kid is the best

 

[realBabelfish]

High five! my sons 4, when it comes to religion I'll let him decide on that himself when he's old enough.

Some of those Youtube things posted earlier look great, I'll sneak them on later

agreed. im strongly against indoctrinating kids into religion. let them decide when they are old enough. IMO religion should have an 18 certificate like alcohol and booze.

 

[realBabelfish]

OP - on moving to a better area. Don't forget that kids start at 4 now so you need to be in that address for at least a year for most good schools so if you want to move you've got to go sooner than later.



I think you misunderstand what faith schools actually teach. Just a hint it's not scripture all day strangely enough.

my wife went to a catholic school. im well aware of some of the BS they subtly and not so subtly force on kids.

at least they dont teach creationism in most. that really would be insane.

 

[realBabelfish]

It is extremely unlikely that the "brainwashing" will stick as it isn't being reinforced at home. Exposure to religion wont harm her and any gaps we will happily pick up (sex education is something we will cover obviously). Considering the other school in the area is so poor it is no doubt the right choice.

As for fairy tales, we are going to have to break it to her that neither the tooth fairy, Easter bunny or Father Christmas exist adding God to the list won't hurt.

ah, if its the only decent school i guess you have no choice. fair play to you then... :thumbsup:

 

[RDM]

agreed. im strongly against indoctrinating kids into religion. let them decide when they are old enough. IMO religion should have an 18 certificate like alcohol and booze.

Do you think the same for other ideologies or do you just single out religion? For example do you teach your child what you think is right and wrong? Do you instill in them any political awareness? Do you instill in them your ideas about race and religion and disability?

Frankly the little bit of praying and god stuff they get per week will be much less important than the better education they will be receiving at that school compared to the non-religious schools in the area. I would much rather my child had a decent education and exposed to some religious teaching than a poor education and not exposed to some religious teaching.

 

[realBabelfish]

Never done that whole Santa thing with my kids. Never really understood it I've always thought it was kind of deceptive and demonstrates its ok to lie. But I come from a different culture to you guys so I suspect it has more to do with that.

its more tradition. im actually looking forward to dressing up as santa at some point....

they figure it out soon enough but for a few years the threat of the naughty list might work

 

[realBabelfish]

You also need to be careful when it comes to teaching them reading/ alphabet and all the other stuff they learn in the first few years at school. Unless you teach them the same way they will do it at school it causes major issues. They will pick uplearning the aphabet and what it means very easily in teh first year at school anyways without us teachign tehm stuff they do not understand as they cannot read anyways.

My wife is a primary school teacher and the amount of kids that come in knowing their alphabet which is just the name for the letter rather than the sound (phonics) and then struggle to cope with the change of learning as they learn to read is amazing.

As well thinking the fact they can count to 100 means they know their numbers. First week back at school and at the meet the parents session 2 parents didn't understand the way their child was learning maths as it wasn't how they did it 30 years ago (this is year 3 she is teaching this year) and was offsetting everything the child was learning by doing it incorrectly.

Yet the school had a child who was 7 which had been abroad and had pretty much not started learning and caught up with 2 terms no problem.

The worst thing about parents is the competitiveness, they all want to be able to say my child crawled, walked, talked, read, added up and so on first as if it's a competition when it's not.

My eldest is nearly 6 and likes the Ipad or pc but is really limited to a few hours a week but instead him and his younger brother (aged 2) spend time out and about all year round going to farms, forests, walks, play areas and so on. They pick stuff up scarily quick and that includes the bad as well as the good. Trust your instincts and work with your child to help him/her learn but there is no race or my kid is the best

i intend to get my head around phonics and new fangled maths. in fact i want to redo all my old science and maths to freshen up.

on the other side my mate's daughter could read, write and count before going to infant school and now she has spent a year going backwards. it doesnt help that the majority of her class are eastern european and learning a new language too.

 

[Reemul]

but then you are going to have a brainwashed kid. i wouldnt send my kid to a religious school. i want them to learn facts, not fairy tales.

My wife is Catholic I am not, my kids are being brought up catholic and I got married in her church. My son goes to a Catholic school it is the best school in the authority, has great results and deals well with behaviour issues and that community feeling.

The funny thing is as a non beliver 95% of what they teach I believe in as a human being anyways, the 5% of god/jesus/resurrection which i don't believe in etc doesn't put me off the other 95% of their approach to teaching, behaviour and the correct way to bring up your child with love, understanding and so on it's just a shame other schools seem to have lost their focus on that and instead focus soley on the tables to see where they fall.

My wife believes, i'm not bigoted and have no issue with her beliefs and her with mine, it's allowing people the choice and being ok with their choices rather than name calling etc because it's not your way. 84% of the total world believe in religion of some form.

Also as mentioned above the much better education si wellw orth it in something that seems to be subtly getting worse year on year, if as my kids get older they lose interest in teh church my wife or I will have no issue with it either.

 

[oulton]

More seriously, of course it will be up to her as to what to believe. But it seems unlikely that she will be a staunch Catholic with an atheist father and a lapsed catholic/bordering on atheist mother. Especially when we will be specifically teaching her stuff that goes agianst the Church as being right.

Well that's fair enough! While OTT staunch religious upbringing can do a fair bit of harm I think there is a lot of good to be learn't from some of the messages - in our school it was more a case of the messages (kindness, treating people fairly etc etc) that were pressed on us, rather than things like dinasors being a lie, the earth being made in 6 days etc etc.... Come to think of it my school was a science academy and a catholic school so i think they did a pretty good balancing atc

 

[Xordium]

It's an extra tool in the toolkit of behaviour management, we tell her that if she misbehaves father christmas replaces one of her presents with a sprout...

See my earlier post about things like sprouts being used as a reward from the off "if you tidy your room up you can have sprouts" said very enthusiastically.

 

[RDM]

My wife is a primary school teacher and the amount of kids that come in knowing their alphabet which is just the name for the letter rather than the sound (phonics) and then struggle to cope with the change of learning as they learn to read is amazing.

I hate phonics with a passion, I realise it is the best way to teach most kids to read but it isn't always the best way to teach all kids. My daughter does much better at word recognition rather than word building.

 

[Morba]

phonics - again take a look on youtube. It is amazing how many songs and clips that have been put together really well with the basics of phonics and other learning for children.
My little girl loves the phonics songs

 

[Reemul]

i intend to get my head around phonics and new fangled maths. in fact i want to redo all my old science and maths to freshen up.

on the other side my mate's daughter could read, write and count before going to infant school and now she has spent a year going backwards. it doesnt help that the majority of her class are eastern european and learning a new language too.

You also make a point I had missed re getting bored. If they do know it then there is nowheere for them to go in class, they will eb bored they won't learn anymore and in fact could then struggle the following year when they need to start learning again.

The best thing is to work with your school/teacher/class to enhance their learning as much as possible. My wife teaches in a rich area and it's no different in that a large % don't get read to, don't read at home and don't do their homework adn then the parents complain when they don't make the sort of progress they want them to.

We work with our son on his reading and writing and so on every night even if it's just 10 minutes or so to support and encourage him along with the school work.