Eeeeeeek, moving in together!

Dinomania

Dinomania

Dinomania

Soldato
Joined
21 Apr 2003
Posts
4,328
For the first time this March, with a boyfriend (will have been together 2 years end of April) - a bit earlier than we would have done given perfect freedom, but it's the movement of my current house mate that's meant I'm shifting again, and I now wish to stay put for a couple of years minimum (meaning we either move together now or not for ages).

He's tidier than me, goes to bed and gets up earlier then me, and I'm generally a little panicky about arguments (we've had some minor upsets and snappishness but nothing angry, we've managed to diffuse anything so far)!

We're easing into it - I've made a point that it shouldn't be taboo to still sleep in our separate beds fairly often esp given our different timings... I imagine most couples would find that idea pretty odd - but I do like my me-time and don't want to mess up his beauty sleep! Also it should make the nights we share nicer still ;)

I imagine tons of you live with spouses and girlfriends - but maybe some of you are about to or just have shacked up together...

How does it differ to just 'going out'?
Do you find you have more time in the evenings now as you're seeing them by default, or that you feel more like you want to stay in?

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
 
Last year I moved in with my GF after being together 2 years. We broke up 3 months later. The evenings were split between arguing and not speaking to each other. Don't let that put you off because it turns out she was a galloping nutbar and you seem very well adjusted. I'm sure it'll be fine.
 
sara said:
I imagine tons of you live with spouses and girlfriends - but maybe some of you are about to or just have shacked up together...

How does it differ to just 'going out'?
Do you find you have more time in the evenings now as you're seeing them by default, or that you feel more like you want to stay in?
Click to expand...

Sleeping (and I mean sleeping) in the same bed is annoying at first because you have to adapt to getting used to somebody else there and if he (or you) is a restless sleeper or snores then that may take some getting used to.

Evenings can be a source of contention if either party expects the other to spend time together. I split my evenings between my own stuff (in my study) and spending time with the wife. I'd hate to be forced to sit there with her just watching TV just because she expects that. I'll sit with her on the laptop or reading but you need space if you live together.

Habbits can become annoying as when dating you don't see them all.

However once all this has settled down all should be well.

Oh and sort out bills whatever you do as money and sex are what cause the most arguments.
 
My girlfriend moved in with me in October. We don't have any more or less arguments, stays the same and it is nice coming home to find my dinner being cooked!

We do our seperate things (not always to her liking) which is nice as I don't want to spend every waking hour with her!
 
Arguments are good as they clear the air - not all the time of course!

Obviously its important for you both get your own me-time which can be awkward when first living together as you feel a responsibility to do things together.

Just be careful of disappearing into your room at first sign of trouble. Will means things don't get cleared up. Be like 'oh she sleeping in other bed tonight again..' Will lead to an atmosphere and slow death of relationship.
 
Don't over think it. Take things as they come and you'll be fine. If you're both intelligent people you will figure out how to live in harmony.
 
Been living with my misses about 3 years now, It all started when I asked her to look after my flat and fish while I went to a festival, since then she has never left.

Agree with all the other comments as well... Since she decided that she didn't want to go back to her mums I made sure that we opened a joint account and we both put in enough each month to cover the mortgage and bills.

edit: To the guy who gets cooked for :( no fair... my misses burns toast!
 
I think your over analysing it tbh, you'll move in, you'll buy stuff for the house, you'll eat and sleep together, you'll argue. Its what people do.

But you still get "me" time when you live with someone, its meant to be a fun time, so enjoy it, dont worry about it :)


ohh edit, Joint acc is a must tbh, set up a SO to drop money in at the start of each month. It takes all the hassle out of splitting bills, also make sure bills are in both names so you both gain credit ratings for the next step, Mortgage :O
 
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Haha Biohazard..!

Valid points LordSplodge..

Bed habits we're fairly OK with by now, helped by the fact his bed is a King size - but sharing every single night I imagine could get a bit difficult to begin with!

Thankfully we both get out a fair bit, so hopefully evenings expecting company won't be too bad (I imagine we'll still need to make a point of checking to see when the other is free if we want them for the night)... also we won't have a telly as such, so less of that kind of loafing.

I have controlled bills since 2006 wherever I've lived, will probably assume I'll carry on with my system but maybe make the rent/bills account a joint one so he can see what's happening with it...
In his current place they take charge of various different bills per person, log what they spent, and then have a huge and complicated spreadsheet to calculate what everyone owes who... Silly!
 
Good comments all, often you only get to hear the dodgy things about moving in together - as the contented ones are just that, contented and don't mention it...!
 
I moved in with mine after knowing each other for 6 months and being together for 2 months! It has gone great tho, over a year now :) We are quite different (especially the early/late bed thing) but we don't mind the differences. So obviously if you cant respect the different habits its not going to work out and arguments are going to happen either way.

I didn't find much difference because the time before moving we spent all the time together. After a while you get to a point as well where you get can be in the same room without having to talk, without that being awkward. So (atleast on my part) I get some 'me-time' :D
 
Respect each other's differences, how boring would it be if you were both the same??? Everyone gets on each others nerves, it's being prepared to put up with the annoying little habits for the sake of the good stuff you enjoy, isn't that what being in a relationship is all about, n'est pas?
 
It's like living with yourself twice, except that the other one isn't like you at all.

Edit: Oh, and you must be able to compromise. You must be willing to sacrifice for them, as they are willing to sacrifice for you. You must also learn to be understanding of why they do things and what they do. If you do, even the annoying things will be alright to deal with.
 
sara said:
How does it differ to just 'going out'?
Click to expand...
Sex stops, you stop doing anything at all in the evening, weekends become frustrating and get wasted, hobbies stop, food bills go up, your money starts to get wasted on things you wouldn't have bought when you were by yourself, you start to accumulate tat, you lose the freedom you used to have, need permission for everything. Can't think of anything else to hand, but there is more.
 
Jonny69 said:
Sex stops, you stop doing anything at all in the evening, weekends become frustrating and get wasted, hobbies stop, food bills go up, your money starts to get wasted on things you wouldn't have bought when you were by yourself, you start to accumulate tat, you lose the freedom you used to have, need permission for everything. Can't think of anything else to hand, but there is more.
Click to expand...

So you're enjoying life with your partner. :D
 
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