I saw this the other day, I don't think I'd adopt it all but it's interesting.
https://hbr.org/2016/11/how-to-write-email-with-military-precision
https://hbr.org/2016/11/how-to-write-email-with-military-precision
Boils my fluids when I get a reply that's a single word.
I find some managers simply can't use email. I know of a few teachers who were unaware what CC or BCC stand for. I mean... I teach year 7 students what that means...There's an assistant head at my partners work who replies to emails and changes the subject, cuts people out of CC, replies back 'to' someone other than the original sender and still doesn't cc them.
It's absolutely baffling.
He's your boss, not your mate:
Not too bad, but i've seen much worse.
- Opening - no issue with just opening with a name. I start mine with "Team" or the name of the team member i am speaking with. If it's external i will throw in a "good morning/afternoon", but never "hi".
- Text - i'll usually add a please in mine when giving taskings, but your example text isn't that bad.
- Sign off - he did add a 'thanks'
- Initial sign off - i don't like that, especially if the email gets larger and you have to read the trail - could get confusing.
Wow...
What's exactly wrong with saying
I do remember when i first started a contracting job, one of the women emailed the boss saying "Hey ABC ...." and he went a bit mental about it.
It looks like military comms which is just pertinant info without the pleasantries.
In my previous company, the more senior the management the less words were in the e-mail. So quite a few of the Directors/Heads of just replied with "yes", "free?", "when?" etc.
Or a huge new tech coming in, reams of text from the email trail and the boss sends you one word, "thoughts?"