ex got married

You will overcome this, it may not seem possible now, but you will. I've been there, takes time, but it will happen.

If your down then focus on exercise, diet and sleep and go see the Doc, chin up and crack on until you meet the love of your life... And no your X wasn't it.. She awaits.

Good luck
 
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BUDFORCE said:
On the plus side, you can sit there in your pants smoking weed and paying games all day.

What's that? Left over doner sat there on the table in the morning, fat gone cold and congealed.

Tuck in son, no one is judging you now.
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those days are long gone now, sadly, they were some of the best days of my life!
 
4Qman said:
You will overcome this, it may not seem possible now, but you will. I've been there, takes time, but it will happen.

If your down then focus on exercise, diet and sleep and go see the Doc, chin up and crack on until you meet the love of your life... And no your X wasn't it.. She awaits.

Good luck
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excercise is pratically impossible as a hemiplegic..
 
I felt gutted when my ex wife met someone else but the more i got used to it i was ok. I did end up meeting someone else.

Then rather bizarrly - i went to the ex wifes wedding to the new fella.
 
Best move on dude.

I saw some photo’s of an ex of mine last year. Split up 10 years ago she’s put on several pounds and that belly button piercing I used to kiss has moved about 6 inches. She’s comfortable now I suppose lol
 
Like others have said, do not dwell or succumb to temptation to look up stuff on her.

1) People only put the best side of their life on social media, most of it is not real and it's not organic, and especially women (sorry ladies) will obsess over details to a degree that men cannot possibly fathom. Wedding pics will be from professionals paid to take them and out of 1000's they'll pick the best 4 to share. It's NOT real, I can't emphasize that enough.

2) This is a hot take and I realize its a generalization and not indicative of all women. But women are elated at weddings because it's a day basically all about them in which they are the center of attention, the man is just a prop. You will never see a woman more high on attention than as a bride.

I've seen obsessing over this stuff mentally destroy my friends which is why I stay off social media, I don't have any, and I spent most of my life online. Same advice I give to all my male friends.
 
I've been where you're at, @Threepwood. After my car crash, I broke up with my girlfriend at the time. I realised I'd been doing everything (cooking, cleaning, earning) and when I needed her support, it was given begrudgingly and transactionally.

It hurt like hell, especially when I found out she'd been cheating whilst I was in Salisbury Spinal unit for 12 weeks.

It took a long time to move forward, building myself back up, recovering my self esteem and learning to be my own person again.

I then reconnected with the girl I dated in my teens - she already knew my faults & quirks and accepted the person I am, rather than demanding I be someone I'm not. It was effortless and we connected more deeply than before.

She knew I had chronic health issues, serious PTSD and would likely never work at the level I was at pre-crash, but accepted and loved me anyway...

She showed me how to focus on the positive things I can do, rather than dwell on the things I can't.

We've now been married 13 years, have three monsters, a home filled with love, laundry and cat fur and I couldn't imagine life any other way.
 
Get off social media... I left facebook around 10 years ago and I don't regret... never had twitter, insta or any similar stuff...
If you don't need any of this to work, don't waste your time.

You will still get enough junk through whatsapp groups ;)
 
@Threepwood How you doing today?

I was thinking about you over the last few days, life has dealt you a crap situation :( It looks like you have too much time on your hands, so you browse social media and then have time to think too deeply on the Ex and her life.

It's the same with my elderly inlaws, the only time they leave the house is when we take them out - the rest of the time they are scrolling on their phones or watching god awful depressing news channels on TV. No hobbies or outside activities.

Are you able to get out and about and maybe join some local activities? Volunteer in a local charity shop etc? Wifey works for a charity and they are always keen to take on volunteers, including those with disabilities or other needs, as they appreciate they may not be able to gain employment and social interaction helps them.

Dunno - but you have your own life and future ahead of you without wondering what Ex is up to.
 
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ivrytwr3 said:
@Threepwood How you doing today?

I was thinking about you over the last few days, life has dealt you a crap situation :( It looks like you have too much time on your hands, so you browse social media and then have time to think too deeply on the Ex and her life.

It's the same with my elderly inlaws, the only time they leave the house is when we take them out - the rest of the time they are scrolling on their phones or watching god awful depressing news channels on TV. No hobbies or outside activities.

Are you able to get out and about and maybe join some local activities? Volunteer in a local charity shop etc? Wifey works for a charity and they are always keen to take on volunteers, including those with disabilities or other needs, as they appreciate they may not be able to gain employment and social interaction helps them.

Dunno - but you have your own life and future ahead of you without wondering what Ex is up to.
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Yeah I think many of the comments here are easier when you're able to move on put yourself in a better place, and you look back and say, "yeah, I'm a better version of myself".

Go the the gym etc are great if you're able bodied. Give up social media is easier if you can get out for a hike. But when you have been dealt a harsh hand it's much much more difficult to move on. And especially with what the OP has, maybe there's not much else to do?
Its not like you're going to stumble on pictures of her now and think "I'm lucky to escape that". Or.. "I'm in a much better position now". Their life is going to look better. I suppose you may get solice in saying "I wouldn't want someone who would abandon me in this situation, so I'm better off without her".

I do think partitioning social media is a good thing though. Make it as impossible as you can to come across this negative feeling inducing content. I don't think OP can be expected to give it up, if he is practically house bound I think giving it up is unrealistic. But stick to groups and avoid FOMO. Play games that challenge the mind if you can't be challenged physically.
But, social media preys on the vulnerable and it's addictive. I'm trying to give it up and I'm not able to yet. And I hate this.


Like you say with the older relatives, it's same with my mum and her chronic depression. She near enough mentally house bound when it's bad. At least there are good days and she can go out. Bit what do you do with all that time? She's often online.

To be honest, just avoiding depression is a massive achievement. And if the OP has managed to avoid that it's impressive.
 
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