Explaining something without telling a secret (girl thread)

Fraggr

Fraggr

Fraggr

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A few days ago, I told a girl that I fancy her, and she said she fancies me. We said we'd talk about it in person whenever we were both free, which was the next day.

However, that night at a party, me and a closeish friend ended up getting very drunk and, er, doing some stuff together which probably wasn't too great for our friendship, and now I don't want to go out with the girl from the first paragraph (I also don't want to go out with this girl).

My problem is how to explain I don't want to go out with her because of what happened that night, without actually telling her the reason. She'll obviously want to know what changed, and me and the girl from the 2nd paragraph decided we didn't want people to know what happened that night, which is why I can't tell.

If I don't give a reason, she'll probably get pretty annoyed and think there's something wrong with her, or I was messing her about.

Any ideas about how to tell her I don't fancy her anymore, keep my secret, and stay friends with her?

Her = girl in the first paragraph, not the friend at the party.
 
Sounds dodgy and I'd be tempted to side with her, especially if you agreed to talk about it. Although I guess it boils down to the fact you preferred the girl at the party. Still harsh though :D

What is wrong with being honest? I find you attractive but I drank too much etc etc
 
Why don't you want to go out with said first girl.

The funny thing is, that same situation is happening to me RIGHT now. I fancy a girl at work, but at the same time I went to a bar and pulled one of my friend's friend. Went out for a while but it didn't work, but I still fancy the original girl whom I am now chasing.

If she fancies you, get yourself in there :cool:

EDIT: Well said Zefan lol
 
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Jesus man you have two girls after you and you do stuff with one and fancy the other but you don't want to go out with EITHER of them?

All I can do is refer you to your doctor.
 
Tommy B said:
Sounds dodgy and I'd be tempted to side with her, especially if you agreed to talk about it.

What is wrong with being honest? I find you attractive but I drank too much etc etc
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We agreed not to talk to anyone about it, and therein lays my problem. I can't tell the girl I said I fancy about what happened.

I don't want to go out with her anymore because what happened at the party kinda changed how I felt about her, and other girls in general. To be honest, I really don't know what I want now, and commiting myself to a relationship doesn't seem like a good idea right now.

I used to fancy the girl at the party until a few months ago, but no longer do really. :p
 
Zefan said:
Jesus man you have two girls after you and you do stuff with one and fancy the other but you don't want to go out with EITHER of them?

All I can do is refer you to your doctor.
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Well, the one at the party was actually just because we were drunk, so I'm not sure if she fancies me or not... :p ;)

Even if we were allowed to talk about it, the one I fancy wouldn't believe it because the one at the party is attractive. :( :cool:
 
Fraggr said:
Even if we were allowed to talk about it, the one I fancy wouldn't believe it because the one at the party is attractive. :( :cool:
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Why cant you talk about it? Please dont tell me shes your sister......

Talking is the best way to resolve anything (99% of the time).
 
Fraggr said:
Well, the one at the party was actually just because we were drunk, so I'm not sure if she fancies me or not... :p ;)

Even if we were allowed to talk about it, the one I fancy wouldn't believe it because the one at the party is attractive. :( :cool:
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Sounds like you're just being shallow really.

You got some hot girl that was out of your league and now that you pulled one it might have given you afeeling that you can pull more so you want to be single. And you dont fancy the other girl because she isnt as attractive as the one that you pulled and you think you can do better.


Its what it sounds like to me
 
You told her you fancy her not that you are willing to commit the rest of your life to her. I don't see the problem...
 
panthro said:
Why cant you talk about it? Please dont tell me shes your sister......

Talking is the best way to resolve anything (99% of the time).
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Because we'd really rather people not know about it. No, she's not my sister... she's not my type. :p

Time is now an issue. I'm going to South Park with her and a few others for a gathering/drunkening. I could just not drink and hopefully nothing will happen. :(
 
Zip said:
Sounds like you're just being shallow really.

You got some hot girl that was out of your league and now that you pulled one it might have given you afeeling that you can pull more so you want to be single. And you dont fancy the other girl because she isnt as attractive as the one that you pulled and you think you can do better.


Its what it sounds like to me
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Oi! She's not out of my league. :p

She's a close/medium close friend, nearly in my close circle of friends, which is why I'm not breaking our agreement by talking to someone else about it.
 
Fraggr said:
Because we'd really rather people not know about it. No, she's not my sister... she's not my type. :p

Time is now an issue. I'm going to South Park with her and a few others for a gathering/drunkening. I could just not drink and hopefully nothing will happen. :(
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I'll offer a breif guess on what will happen. Whatever crisis you are facing now will become public knowledge soonish, and it probably isn't that drastic anyway. You likely wont be bothered in a week.
 
This crisis won't be public knowledge. People already know about me and the first girl, but the secret is definately staying a secret.
 
Fraggr said:
15.
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Hmm, it shouldn't matter then as young girls have the attention span of goldfish and she probably fancies someone else now anyway or she bought some new shoes or a Ronan CD and forgot all about your talk.
 
Fraggr said:
This crisis won't be public knowledge. People already know about me and the first girl, but the secret is definately staying a secret.
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It's spelt, definitely! :mad: :p

And it's no longer a secret, as a few 100 people now know about it. Also, you've already broken the agreement by telling us. So, what's the problemo?
 
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