Favourite quotes

"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be."
Kurt Vonnegut

Also, just about the entire works of Terry Pratchett :p
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
 
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You're a son of a (badword), You know that? She bought her first new car and You hit her with a drunk driver. What? Was that supposed to be funny? "You can't conceive, nor can I, the appalling strangeness of the mercy of God," says Graham Greene. I don't know whose (backside) he was kissing there, 'cause I think You're just vindictive. What was Josh Lyman - a warning shot? That was my son. What did I ever do to Yours but praise His glory and praise His Name? There's a tropical storm that's gaining speed and power. They say we haven't had a storm this bad since You took out that tender ship of mine in the North Atlantic last year. Sixty-eight crew. You know what a tender ship does? Fixes the other ships. It doesn't even carry guns. It just goes around, fixes the other ships and delivers the mail. That's all it can do. Gratias tibi ago, Domine
Yes, I lied. It was a sin. I've committed many sins. Have I displeased You, You feckless thug? 3.8 million new jobs, that wasn't good?
Bailed out Mexico. Increased foreign trade. Thirty million new acres of land for conservation. Put Mendoza on the bench. We're not fighting a war. I've raised three children. That's not enough to buy me out of the doghouse? Haec credam a Deo pio, a Deo iusto, a Deo scito? Cruciatus in crucem. Trus in terra servus, nuntius fui, officium perfeci. Cruciatus in crucem. Eas in crucem.
 
“I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.”
 
"Everything will be okay in the end.

If it's not okay, it's not the end."

Anon

"I'm fairly certain YOLO is just Carpe Diem for stupid people"

Jack Black
 
"I never apologize Lisa. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am" Homer J Simpson
"Do you know what nemesis means? A righteous infliction of retribution, manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible ****. Me" Bricktop
 
SixTwoSix said:
"I am that guy" - Amos Burton :D
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that's a good one.

“There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass! Who's been pinching my beer?
And at the other end of the bar the world is full of the other type of person, who has a broken glass, or a glass that has been carelessly knocked over (usually by one of the people calling for a larger glass) or who had no glass at all, because he was at the back of the crowd and had failed to catch the barman's eye. ”

“There was death and taxes, and taxes was worse, because at least death didn’t happen to you every year.”

‘But there are causes worth dying for,’ said Butterfly.
‘No, there aren’t! Because you’ve only got one life but you can pick up another five causes on any street corner!’
‘Good grief, how can you live with a philosophy like that?’
Rincewind took a deep breath.
‘Continuously!’
 
Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It is only painful for others.
The same applies when you are stupid.”

― Ricky Gervais
 
haaammit said:
"I never apologize Lisa. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am" Homer J Simpson
"Do you know what nemesis means? A righteous infliction of retribution, manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible ****. Me" Bricktop
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See for Homer i think i'd always go with "You don't win friends with salad"
 
"The bar was on the floor, and you brought a shovel" - Damien Haas
"The bar was so low it was practically a tripping hazard in Hell, yet here you are, limbo dancing with the devil" - some dude called omnybus on Tumblr
 
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